So, yeah, I got a call from the Buccos. I guess I'm playing 2nd base on Friday night. Who the hell else is going to start there?
Penned last night for True/Slant. Of course, fewer than 24 hours later, the Bucs traded Gorzelanny and Grabow, too. No huge loss, but you know, that blue light is only on for a few more hours, Pirate-Mart shoppers!
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/30/how-to-kill-a-sports-franchise/
From True/Slant on July 30, 2009:
How to Kill a Sports Franchise.
Are you one of the millions of Americans who would like to kill a sports franchise? You’re in luck. For this special offer, at the low, low price of simply logging on, here’s a handy eight-step how-to guide for killing a professional team, courtesy of the brain trust at the Pittsburgh Pirates.
1. Trade All-Star, Gold Glove centerfielder Nate McLouth, making just $2.5 mil a year (Wal-Mart pricing by baseball standards) to Atlanta. In return, receive several prospects, including left-handed pitcher Jeff Locke (2nd round draft pick in 2006) currently pitching single A ball; Charlie Morton, right handed pitcher who has made eight starts since arriving in Pittsburgh, with a 2-3 record, a 3.72 era and averages 4 2/3 innings per start; and Gorkys Hernandez, an outfielder currently playing AA ball with the Altoona Curve, where he’s batting .257 with two home runs.
2. Wait for the fans to settle down from this dust up. About three to four weeks should do it.
3. Trade wildly popular, fleet of foot, energetic, engaging left fielder, Nyjer Morgan to the Washington Nationals. Be sure to cite his lack of power hitting. In return, obtain pitcher Joel Hanrahan, a right handed pitcher with a 6.7 ERA; and, of course, known headcase Lastings Milledge, who started the season so slowly (batting .167 with 1 RBI) that even the lowly Nats sent him down to AAA ball. Milledge was rehabbing from an injury at the time of the trade. Since returning from injury, Milledge has played 17 games with the Pirates AAA affiliate, the Indianapolis Indians, where he is batting .333 with zero home runs. Whups. So much for that need to get a power hitter in left field.
4. Bide your time. Wait. A craptacular offer is bound to cross your desk on the eve of the trade deadline.
5. Trade Jack Wilson. Yup, the 2004 All-Star rep, the winner of the Silver Slugger for shortstops in 2004, the guy who is one of the five best fielding shortstops in the league and who, as of July 17, helped to turn 100 double plays, most in the majors. Send the guy who willingly took on the tremendous burden of this accursed franchise and actually wanted to remain in Pittsburgh to turn things around to Seattle for shortstop Ronny Cedeno (batting .167), first baseman Jeff Clement (batting .227) and pitching prospects Aaron Pribanic, Brett Lorin and Nathan Adcock. Oh, last thing, tell the fans that this wasn’t a salary dump.
6. As news of the Wilson move is burning up the internet machines, even causing the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette website to go all wonky (not that that’s anything new), quickly orchestrate a trade that sends the other key element of that middle infield to the San Francisco Giants. In return for three time All-Star 2nd baseman Freddy Sanchez, receive Tim Alderon, pitcher who was selected third in the 2005 draft and is currently working in double A ball. Aldereson seems to be a superb pitching prospect, but by this point, the fans can’t even see straight, let alone read this breakdown per ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick:
“The Giants paid a big price for Sanchez in surrendering Alderson, who was ranked by Baseball America as the No. 4 prospect in the San Francisco organization entering this season. Alderson, 20, is 6-foot-6 and 217 pounds. He has a 7-2 record and a 3.65 ERA in two minor league stops this season. The Giants selected Alderson with the 22nd overall pick in Major League Baseball’s first-year player draft two years ago and gave him a $1.29 million signing bonus.”
7. Act indignant over widespread media indifference to your team while everybody obsesses about the Steelers, who aren’t even practicing in shorts and t-shirts yet. Act perplexed when irate fans start staying away from the ballpark in droves.
8. Blame the media and the fans for an historic 17 year run at suck.
Oh, and would the last fan out of the ballpark please turn off the jumbotron? Thanks.
_____________________________________________________________
Meanwhile, my virtual buddy the Sports Noter said in one quick paragraph what it took me 600+ words to say:
All right, settle down, I think we're all here so let's take seats. I'd like to welcome you all to the Pittsburgh Pirates Mid-Summer 2009 Strategy Meeting. Item No. 1 on the agenda ... The Steelers open up training camp in just a few days. What do we do? Okay, let's see some ideas, people. Trade Adam LaRoche to the Red Sox? Didn't we send Jason Bay to them last year? Never mind, it's brilliant. I love it. Make the call. Okay, next ... Trade Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez? Wait, aren't they our double play combo? Whatever, I like it. Do it. Wow, I'm getting goosebumps here. You guys are on fire. What else you got?
Here's Bob's real blog. He's a panic. And quick. Man, is he quick:
thesportsnoter.blogspot.com/2009/07/sports-noter-version-4-volume-1-issue_30.html
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Ugly Pete
How long have they been playing baseball?
About 110, 120 years.
Who has more hits than anybody else in all that time?
Pete Rose.
Put that Jackass in the Hall.
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/28/put-the-hits-king-in-the-hall/
From True/Slant on July 28, 2009:
Pete Rose. Jackass. And Hall of Fame Worthy
Pete Rose is in the news again, which is never good news for MLB commissioner Bud Selig. (Or anyone who is a fan of comely coiffure, for that matter.) The recent chatter centers on whether or not the all time hits king should be enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame, despite his lifetime ban from the game. Baseball legend and Selig pal Hank Aaron thinks so and publicly stated as much, saying, “I would like to see Pete in. He belongs there,” which has prompted Selig to at least consider lifting the ban.
That would make Rose eligible for the Hall, but also for employment with MLB. What on earth is Selig thinking?
Here’s what we know on the Rose case to date: Rose gambled on sports and lied about that. He gambled on baseball and lied about that. He gambled on his own team when he managed the Cincinnati Reds and lied about that. He maintains that he always bet on his team and never against them, but given what we know about Rose, why would anybody believe anything that comes out of his mouth? Ever?
Going back to the days of Kenesaw Mountain Landis, the former judge turned baseball’s first commissioner, gambling has been the most taboo, verbotten transgression known to ballplayers. There is to be no gambling on baseball. And no fraternizing with gamblers. Essentially, if you don’t want to get hit by the train, don’t play on the damned tracks. Simple enough.
It’s the number one deadly sin.
Steal some signs? Gamesmanship, my silly friend. Doctors baseballs with a nail file or vaseline? Again, gamesmanship. And an advantage that could be easily rectified by diligent umpires in live game situations. Pop some greenies? Shoot some steroids? Hey, everybody was doing it!
Gambling? On Baseball? On games involving your own team? Indefensible. And deserving of the ban from ever participating in MLB in any capacity beyond buying a ticket to sit in the bleachers.
But what if Pete could be banned from baseball and still be enshrined in the Hall of Fame? The Baseball HOF is an independent animal from MLB proper, although the two share a cozy, hand in glove relationship. Per their website:
“The National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum is independent of Major League Baseball, however it does maintain an excellent relationship with MLB.”
The HOF did not respond to my request for clarification via telephone or email, but my reading of the above is that, technically, the HOF could make Rose (or Shoeless Joe Jackson) eligible for induction and then let the chips fall where they may with the Hall voters. Theoretically, at least.
So, they could, I’m thinking, put a plaque in the Hall of Fame for Pete Rose, all time hits king and book-makers buddy. And an even bigger plaque next to it that reads: Banned for Life from Baseball for Gambling.
UPDATE: Shortly after posting this story, I did get an email note back from the Hall as follows: “Thank you very much for your note! At the Baseball Hall of Fame, we work very closely with Major League Baseball, but we are a separate entity. We are not owned by Major League Baseball.”
Again, that reads to me that they can go their own way on this matter.
About 110, 120 years.
Who has more hits than anybody else in all that time?
Pete Rose.
Put that Jackass in the Hall.
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/28/put-the-hits-king-in-the-hall/
From True/Slant on July 28, 2009:
Pete Rose. Jackass. And Hall of Fame Worthy
Pete Rose is in the news again, which is never good news for MLB commissioner Bud Selig. (Or anyone who is a fan of comely coiffure, for that matter.) The recent chatter centers on whether or not the all time hits king should be enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame, despite his lifetime ban from the game. Baseball legend and Selig pal Hank Aaron thinks so and publicly stated as much, saying, “I would like to see Pete in. He belongs there,” which has prompted Selig to at least consider lifting the ban.
That would make Rose eligible for the Hall, but also for employment with MLB. What on earth is Selig thinking?
Here’s what we know on the Rose case to date: Rose gambled on sports and lied about that. He gambled on baseball and lied about that. He gambled on his own team when he managed the Cincinnati Reds and lied about that. He maintains that he always bet on his team and never against them, but given what we know about Rose, why would anybody believe anything that comes out of his mouth? Ever?
Going back to the days of Kenesaw Mountain Landis, the former judge turned baseball’s first commissioner, gambling has been the most taboo, verbotten transgression known to ballplayers. There is to be no gambling on baseball. And no fraternizing with gamblers. Essentially, if you don’t want to get hit by the train, don’t play on the damned tracks. Simple enough.
It’s the number one deadly sin.
Steal some signs? Gamesmanship, my silly friend. Doctors baseballs with a nail file or vaseline? Again, gamesmanship. And an advantage that could be easily rectified by diligent umpires in live game situations. Pop some greenies? Shoot some steroids? Hey, everybody was doing it!
Gambling? On Baseball? On games involving your own team? Indefensible. And deserving of the ban from ever participating in MLB in any capacity beyond buying a ticket to sit in the bleachers.
But what if Pete could be banned from baseball and still be enshrined in the Hall of Fame? The Baseball HOF is an independent animal from MLB proper, although the two share a cozy, hand in glove relationship. Per their website:
“The National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum is independent of Major League Baseball, however it does maintain an excellent relationship with MLB.”
The HOF did not respond to my request for clarification via telephone or email, but my reading of the above is that, technically, the HOF could make Rose (or Shoeless Joe Jackson) eligible for induction and then let the chips fall where they may with the Hall voters. Theoretically, at least.
So, they could, I’m thinking, put a plaque in the Hall of Fame for Pete Rose, all time hits king and book-makers buddy. And an even bigger plaque next to it that reads: Banned for Life from Baseball for Gambling.
UPDATE: Shortly after posting this story, I did get an email note back from the Hall as follows: “Thank you very much for your note! At the Baseball Hall of Fame, we work very closely with Major League Baseball, but we are a separate entity. We are not owned by Major League Baseball.”
Again, that reads to me that they can go their own way on this matter.
Interview with Insane Ultramarathoner - Wow. Just Wow.
I always feel like such an ass when I interview people like this. First of all, I'm genuinely interested, so I sound like a dork. But also, I feel like a piker. The longest I've ever run is 6 miles and I nearly died. I mean, that was hard. Like really, really hard. So I can't even begin to imagine ultramarathoners.
And then this. 135 miles.
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/26/inside-the-mind-of-an-ultramarathoner/
Chin. Floor. Resting.
From True/Slant on July 26, 2009:
Inside the Mind of an UltraMarathoner
Imagine standing in Death Valley at 280 feet below sea level. It’s anywhere from 120 to 30 degrees farenheit, temperatures so high that, if you don’t run fast enough, your running shoes will literally melt on the pavement. When you can finally stop running, you will have run continuously throughout an entire day, well-over 24 hours. You will have climbed and descended, climbed and descended, and passed through landmarks like Furnace Creek, Salt Creek, Devil’s Cornfield, Devil’s Golf Course, and Stovepipe Wells, none of which sound particularly inviting. At the end, you will have climbed to the finish at Mt. Whitney, 8,360 feet above sea level. And you will have covered 135 miles.
That’s just a thumbnail of what awaits runners competing in the Badwater challenge. What the hell would possess somebody to do that to themselves? Seriously, wouldn’t you have to be certifiably crazy to even consider something like that?
I had questions. Lots of them. So I called up Jamie Donaldson, who just completed her third Badwater challenge over the weekend of July 13-15.
Put it this way, if you left the gift shop of the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh and ran to the cafe at the Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, you would cover 135 miles. When I put the Badwater distance in that perspective, even Donaldson admitted with a laugh, that yes, it did sound a little crazy. But Donaldson herself didn’t sound at all crazy. In fact, the sixth grade teacher based in Littleton, Colorado sounded pretty normal on the phone, with a self-deprecating sense of humor and more perspective than I expected.
She said that the heat is the biggest factor, “because you never know how your body’s going to handle that,” but the heat didn’t bother her much this year as it did her first two years. She fought through heat-induced nausea during her second run at Badwater, in the summer of 2008, but still finished about 10 minutes under 27 hours. Yes, 27 hours non-stop. To cover 135 miles in 27 hours, a runner must average five miles per hour, or a 12 minute mile — a remarkable pace to keep up as morning turns to afternoon, afternoon to evening, evening to night, and then to morning again. Competitors have to essentially pull an all-nighter while running and I’m ashamed to admit that the last time I pulled an all-nighter, it was fueled by caffeine and nicotine and George H.W. Bush was Commander in Chief.
This year, Donaldson was the first woman to finish, coming in fifth over all at just hair over 27 hours. She wasn’t too bothered by the heat and perhaps, she suggested optimistically, she’s gotten used to it.
But why? And how?
The how is grueling, but simple: to train for one of these races, she runs 200 miles a week and often runs several marathons in one day.
The why is more complicated. Garden variety 26.2 mile marathons were the gateway drug, as it were. She ran her first in 2003 in Pittsburgh (she was born and raised not far from Pittsburgh) and ran just a handful more before the challenge wore off and she was kind of, well, bored by them. She needed a bigger challenge, something tougher, something that would push her to her absolute limits. So she did a 50 mile race; she was hooked and her ultramarathoning (distances of 50 miles or more) has taken her to such far-flung locales as Korea and Italy. One of the most fun races (if I can use even the word ‘fun’ in relation to such distances) is a 100 mile run that cuts through a Hawaiian rain forest. Donaldson says it’s awesome.
The Badwater challenge is the toughest of all of them. Even for a highly trained athlete, taking the race in its entirety, considering the 135 miles of the course as a whole, is discouraging, seemingly impossible. To get through the endless hours, Donaldson plays mental tricks on herself, breaking the race into more bite-sized chunks to make it palatable, saying to herself, “Oh, I only have another 18 miles to the next stop,” using the stops along the route (there are designated stops at 17.4 miles, 41.9 miles, 72.3 miles, 90.1 miles, and 122.3) as mental carrots, as well as for physical respite.
If the mental challenge kicks in as day turns to night, the first half of the course may be the most grueling physically. Specifically, the first 42 miles from Death Valley to Stovepipe Wells are the hottest. “You’ve got to be really careful about your pace in that heat,” according to Donaldson. After that, the course starts to seriously climb from sea level to nearly 5,000 feet over a 17 mile stretch; then it drops over 3,300 feet for the next nine miles, an extremely steep, dangerous descent. “It’s the worst,” said Donaldson. “You run the risk of blowing out your quads if you run too fast. But you can really hurt your knees if you go too slow, because you’re braking all the time. Plus, you can wipe out.”
After that, it’s smooth sailing. For another, you know, 67 miles to the finish line.
With another Badwater under her belt, Donaldson’s taking it easy, running short (for her) distances, doing a lot of walking before she’ll get on the road for her next race, a 100 miler right in her backyard in Colorado. It’ll be a piece of cake after Badwater.
And then this. 135 miles.
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/26/inside-the-mind-of-an-ultramarathoner/
Chin. Floor. Resting.
From True/Slant on July 26, 2009:
Inside the Mind of an UltraMarathoner
Imagine standing in Death Valley at 280 feet below sea level. It’s anywhere from 120 to 30 degrees farenheit, temperatures so high that, if you don’t run fast enough, your running shoes will literally melt on the pavement. When you can finally stop running, you will have run continuously throughout an entire day, well-over 24 hours. You will have climbed and descended, climbed and descended, and passed through landmarks like Furnace Creek, Salt Creek, Devil’s Cornfield, Devil’s Golf Course, and Stovepipe Wells, none of which sound particularly inviting. At the end, you will have climbed to the finish at Mt. Whitney, 8,360 feet above sea level. And you will have covered 135 miles.
That’s just a thumbnail of what awaits runners competing in the Badwater challenge. What the hell would possess somebody to do that to themselves? Seriously, wouldn’t you have to be certifiably crazy to even consider something like that?
I had questions. Lots of them. So I called up Jamie Donaldson, who just completed her third Badwater challenge over the weekend of July 13-15.
Put it this way, if you left the gift shop of the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh and ran to the cafe at the Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, you would cover 135 miles. When I put the Badwater distance in that perspective, even Donaldson admitted with a laugh, that yes, it did sound a little crazy. But Donaldson herself didn’t sound at all crazy. In fact, the sixth grade teacher based in Littleton, Colorado sounded pretty normal on the phone, with a self-deprecating sense of humor and more perspective than I expected.
She said that the heat is the biggest factor, “because you never know how your body’s going to handle that,” but the heat didn’t bother her much this year as it did her first two years. She fought through heat-induced nausea during her second run at Badwater, in the summer of 2008, but still finished about 10 minutes under 27 hours. Yes, 27 hours non-stop. To cover 135 miles in 27 hours, a runner must average five miles per hour, or a 12 minute mile — a remarkable pace to keep up as morning turns to afternoon, afternoon to evening, evening to night, and then to morning again. Competitors have to essentially pull an all-nighter while running and I’m ashamed to admit that the last time I pulled an all-nighter, it was fueled by caffeine and nicotine and George H.W. Bush was Commander in Chief.
This year, Donaldson was the first woman to finish, coming in fifth over all at just hair over 27 hours. She wasn’t too bothered by the heat and perhaps, she suggested optimistically, she’s gotten used to it.
But why? And how?
The how is grueling, but simple: to train for one of these races, she runs 200 miles a week and often runs several marathons in one day.
The why is more complicated. Garden variety 26.2 mile marathons were the gateway drug, as it were. She ran her first in 2003 in Pittsburgh (she was born and raised not far from Pittsburgh) and ran just a handful more before the challenge wore off and she was kind of, well, bored by them. She needed a bigger challenge, something tougher, something that would push her to her absolute limits. So she did a 50 mile race; she was hooked and her ultramarathoning (distances of 50 miles or more) has taken her to such far-flung locales as Korea and Italy. One of the most fun races (if I can use even the word ‘fun’ in relation to such distances) is a 100 mile run that cuts through a Hawaiian rain forest. Donaldson says it’s awesome.
The Badwater challenge is the toughest of all of them. Even for a highly trained athlete, taking the race in its entirety, considering the 135 miles of the course as a whole, is discouraging, seemingly impossible. To get through the endless hours, Donaldson plays mental tricks on herself, breaking the race into more bite-sized chunks to make it palatable, saying to herself, “Oh, I only have another 18 miles to the next stop,” using the stops along the route (there are designated stops at 17.4 miles, 41.9 miles, 72.3 miles, 90.1 miles, and 122.3) as mental carrots, as well as for physical respite.
If the mental challenge kicks in as day turns to night, the first half of the course may be the most grueling physically. Specifically, the first 42 miles from Death Valley to Stovepipe Wells are the hottest. “You’ve got to be really careful about your pace in that heat,” according to Donaldson. After that, the course starts to seriously climb from sea level to nearly 5,000 feet over a 17 mile stretch; then it drops over 3,300 feet for the next nine miles, an extremely steep, dangerous descent. “It’s the worst,” said Donaldson. “You run the risk of blowing out your quads if you run too fast. But you can really hurt your knees if you go too slow, because you’re braking all the time. Plus, you can wipe out.”
After that, it’s smooth sailing. For another, you know, 67 miles to the finish line.
With another Badwater under her belt, Donaldson’s taking it easy, running short (for her) distances, doing a lot of walking before she’ll get on the road for her next race, a 100 miler right in her backyard in Colorado. It’ll be a piece of cake after Badwater.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
ABC and HBO are best for gay visibility
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) yesterday released its third annual ranking of LGBT visibility on broadcast and cable television, and the winners are: ABC and HBO. Thank you, GLAAD, for doing this work, which seems extensive. The survey "maps the quantity, quality and diversity of images of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people on television," according to the GLAAD press release.
It's really no surprise that HBO would be at the top for cable, because it's edgy and it's cable and queers tend to buy the premium cable package. The news that's most interesting here is the top ranking of ABC. Broadcast network television is what the rest of the country is watching, and, therefore, it's where your grandparents might see Torres kiss girls on Grey's Anatomy. This is progress, America, because it normalizes gay and lesbian relationships in the eyes of folks who might still think homosexuality is deviant behavior.
Unfortunately, Fox has huge viewership and the top two shows (American Idol and House), but only an "Adequate" ranking in the GLAAD report. (But wait, didn't they get any points for Seacrest?) Anyway, Fox at least improved its status over last year's survey.
It's interesting to note that the Sci-Fi network, along with NBC and CBS, received failing grades in the GLAAD report. Apparently the report gives no points for Starbuck, Liz Lemon, or Katie Couric.
It's really no surprise that HBO would be at the top for cable, because it's edgy and it's cable and queers tend to buy the premium cable package. The news that's most interesting here is the top ranking of ABC. Broadcast network television is what the rest of the country is watching, and, therefore, it's where your grandparents might see Torres kiss girls on Grey's Anatomy. This is progress, America, because it normalizes gay and lesbian relationships in the eyes of folks who might still think homosexuality is deviant behavior.Unfortunately, Fox has huge viewership and the top two shows (American Idol and House), but only an "Adequate" ranking in the GLAAD report. (But wait, didn't they get any points for Seacrest?) Anyway, Fox at least improved its status over last year's survey.
It's interesting to note that the Sci-Fi network, along with NBC and CBS, received failing grades in the GLAAD report. Apparently the report gives no points for Starbuck, Liz Lemon, or Katie Couric.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Alanis panders to lesbians, and we like it
Alanis Morissette is funny. Remember several years ago when she appeared on Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Her latest comedy triumph is a spoof trailer for a nonexistent girlfriends-go-on-a-road-trip film. There is blatant pandering to lesbian fans, which we like to see, including Tegan and Sarah music, a gratuitous butched-up crotch-grab, and musical credits such as: Muscular Lesbians and Jody Foster's Army (sic). Despite some research, I have failed to determine if Muscular Lesbians and Jody Foster's Army are actual bands.
View the clip at funnyordie.
More news re Alanis is that she has lost some post-Ryan Reynolds breakup weight after adopting a vegan diet. Does this mean she is now less aggressive and, therefore, we should no longer expect any angry anthems from her? Disappointed, if so. But supportive of her choice to be healthy.
Alanis apparently is appearing in seven episodes of Weeds this season, playing an ob-gyn doctor who treats Nancy Botwin, played by beloved Mary Louise Parker.
We love Mary Louise Parker for many reasons, but especially for the slow, sweet line she delivered in the 1991 lesbian classic Fried Green Tomatoes: "Why, Idgie Threadgoode, you're a bee charmer."
Brandtson = Swarm of Bats
As far as I know, Brandtson is dead. Everyone who has ever been in Brandtson, minus Jared, is now Swarm of Bats. Yesterday the first Swarm of Bats show was announced, on their Myspace site. You can see them in Cleveland, of course, on August 14.
This is from April 11:
This is from April 11:
heya- sorry for the silence on this… we haven’t made anything official because we just don’t really know. at this point all i know is that jared really isn’t interested in doing anything musically in the way that we always have- which is a bit of a bummer for sure. we’re all still good friends, and it’s not a matter of us not getting along… just life and that sort of thing. I’d love to do another record or at least a few goodbye shows, but it’s all up in the air for now…
myk, john, adam and myself are all making music together as a new band and are hoping to play a few shows this summer around home (cleveland) and possibly do some recording. it feels good to play with those dudes again- it’s been way too long.
sorry i don’t have anything solid to give you at this time… i just don’t know whats going to happen really.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Five Teams to Head Bang By
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/16/five-teams-that-make-fans-want-to-smash-their-heads-on-their-desks/
From True/Slant on July 16, 2009:
Five Teams that make fans want to smash their heads on their desks
There are teams whose fans throw up their hands in disgust, wallow in despair and watch through paper bags. There are franchises with nothing to celebrate in the rear-view nor any promise of success on the horizon.
Then there are the Pittsburgh Pirates, a franchise in pursuit of a record breaking 17th consecutive losing season. Somehow, the locals remain invested enough to smack their faces off their desks in frustration. Trust me, I know.
It’s particularly bad because Pittsburgh fans can always point to the other local franchises, and few hold up well against the standard set by the Super Bowl champ Steelers and Stanley Cup champ Penguins. Of course, the Pirates don’t help themselves much by (a) losing a lot, (b) trading away nearly every player with any talent, spark or connection to the fans, and (c) losing a lot. (The losing. It bothers folks.)
Still, I suppose there are worse things than being a Pirates fan. Like having your eyelashes tweezed out one by one. Or being questioned by a knuckleheaded pissant like Jeff Sessions. But keeping in the world of sports, as the Pirates complete their annual crawl of shame, here’s my very unscientific short list of fans who have it worse than I do as a Buccos fan:
New York Knicks. Only the Knicks would amass a payroll larger than the GNP of Papua New Guinea and fail so miserably on court. Only the Knicks could allow Isiah Thomas to run the team into the ground from the front office, then add head coach to his job description. To add whipped cream and cherries to it, he was paid to stick around but kinda go away. There is failure, there is incompetence, there is malfeasance. And then there is Isaiah Thomas. It may get better for Knicks fans, but to hoops fans all over New York, particularly those who grew up with Frazier or Ewing, it must feel like James Dolan purchased the team specifically for the purpose of torturing them. Commence head banging.
Buffalo Bills. Remember back in the 1990’s when the Bills lost the first of their four consecutive Super Bowl losses on an errant, last-minute field goal try? Yeah, well those were the good old days for Bills fans. Ownership is financially strapped and there has been talk of moving the team. Since the retirement of Hall of Famer Jim Kelly, the fans have witnessed such luminary quarterbacks as Drew Bledsoe (past his expiration date), Kelly Holcomb, Alex Van Pelt (I am not making that up), J.P. Losman and Trent Edwards. The Bills wear some of the busiest, most hideous uniforms in all of the NFL. And, as though Buffalo fans haven’t suffered enough, enter Terrell Owens (and his shadow, Drew Rosenass.) Good times.
Cleveland. You cannot look at any one single Cleveland franchise without recognizing the sorry state of affairs all over. Context, like timing, is everything. Cleveland fans haven’t enjoyed a championship of any kind since the 1964 Browns. In the 1980’s the Browns lost to the Broncos in back to back AFC Championship games, dubbed “The Drive” and “The Fumble.” but they would be more appropriately titled, “Kill Me, I’m A Browns Fan,” and “Please Kill Me, I’m a Browns Fan.” Did I mention the hijacking, um, relocation of the franchise a decade later? Yeah, that, too.
The Indians came close to a title, but lost in the 1995 World Series to the Braves. And for a super-special encore, they followed that up with the 1997 soul-crushing loss to the Marlins. Do not say the name Jose Mesa in northern Ohio unless you want a fist to the throat.
Those kinds of things take a toll on the collective sports psyche of a town, so much so that ESPN conferred the title of most tortured sports fans on Cleveland a few years back.
But, you say, the Cavaliers have King James! They just got Shaq! This is the year, baby. Except I can’t hear you over the constant, ear-ringing din about Lebron leaving for a bigger market as soon as this contract is up. Every media outlet from Boardman, Oh. to Bristol, Ct. insists he’s already gone, ready to trot off to some bigger market to make more money and become more famous. (I wonder, how much more famous could the guy even be?) Lebron’s assumed departure must hang over Cleveland fans like the sword of Damocles. It’s no way for the city to enjoy what might be the last best chance it has at a title.
Detroit Lions. No list of of futility can skip the team which drives fans to the streets with torches and pitch forks while burning the general manger in effigy. The dome? Football indoors is depressing all by itself. Add the Lions to the equation and I can actually feel my body decaying while I watch them. The Lions draft record was once read at a comedy club. It killed.
Some fans have their hopes dashed every year, but at least they have hope. Despair, thy name is Detroit.
Chicago Cubs. When I was a younger, I thought Cubs fans were reinvigorated each spring. They seemed excited when pitchers and catchers reported for spring training and the tingle of a new start mingled with the spring chill that typically remains on opening day at Wrigley. They kept their hopes for a championship just barely under wraps, but they were there. Oh, they were there. Cubs fans meant it when they said get ‘em next year.
In more recent years, in the post-Bartman era, I get the feeling that a century without a title has gotten the best of them. Cubs faithful are tighter, crankier, and just barely teetering on the edge of sanity. Misery loves company. Maybe it all turned sour after the Boston Red Sox fans and crosstown Chi-White Sox fans got to celebrate in 2004 and 2005. With those historic wins, Cubs fans stood alone as the loneliest long-suffering franchise. It doesn’t seem fun for fans anymore, which is a bummer even for me. Every loss carries the weight of 100 years, every missed opportunity seems inevitable. The Cubs are the face of disappointment. Goats optional.
Honorable mention: L.A. Clippers, Ottawa Senators, N.Y. Jets, Hartford Whalers (I interviewed some locals a couple of years ago for a story on Ron Francis; they’re still bitter).
From True/Slant on July 16, 2009:
Five Teams that make fans want to smash their heads on their desks
There are teams whose fans throw up their hands in disgust, wallow in despair and watch through paper bags. There are franchises with nothing to celebrate in the rear-view nor any promise of success on the horizon.
Then there are the Pittsburgh Pirates, a franchise in pursuit of a record breaking 17th consecutive losing season. Somehow, the locals remain invested enough to smack their faces off their desks in frustration. Trust me, I know.
It’s particularly bad because Pittsburgh fans can always point to the other local franchises, and few hold up well against the standard set by the Super Bowl champ Steelers and Stanley Cup champ Penguins. Of course, the Pirates don’t help themselves much by (a) losing a lot, (b) trading away nearly every player with any talent, spark or connection to the fans, and (c) losing a lot. (The losing. It bothers folks.)
Still, I suppose there are worse things than being a Pirates fan. Like having your eyelashes tweezed out one by one. Or being questioned by a knuckleheaded pissant like Jeff Sessions. But keeping in the world of sports, as the Pirates complete their annual crawl of shame, here’s my very unscientific short list of fans who have it worse than I do as a Buccos fan:
New York Knicks. Only the Knicks would amass a payroll larger than the GNP of Papua New Guinea and fail so miserably on court. Only the Knicks could allow Isiah Thomas to run the team into the ground from the front office, then add head coach to his job description. To add whipped cream and cherries to it, he was paid to stick around but kinda go away. There is failure, there is incompetence, there is malfeasance. And then there is Isaiah Thomas. It may get better for Knicks fans, but to hoops fans all over New York, particularly those who grew up with Frazier or Ewing, it must feel like James Dolan purchased the team specifically for the purpose of torturing them. Commence head banging.
Buffalo Bills. Remember back in the 1990’s when the Bills lost the first of their four consecutive Super Bowl losses on an errant, last-minute field goal try? Yeah, well those were the good old days for Bills fans. Ownership is financially strapped and there has been talk of moving the team. Since the retirement of Hall of Famer Jim Kelly, the fans have witnessed such luminary quarterbacks as Drew Bledsoe (past his expiration date), Kelly Holcomb, Alex Van Pelt (I am not making that up), J.P. Losman and Trent Edwards. The Bills wear some of the busiest, most hideous uniforms in all of the NFL. And, as though Buffalo fans haven’t suffered enough, enter Terrell Owens (and his shadow, Drew Rosenass.) Good times.
Cleveland. You cannot look at any one single Cleveland franchise without recognizing the sorry state of affairs all over. Context, like timing, is everything. Cleveland fans haven’t enjoyed a championship of any kind since the 1964 Browns. In the 1980’s the Browns lost to the Broncos in back to back AFC Championship games, dubbed “The Drive” and “The Fumble.” but they would be more appropriately titled, “Kill Me, I’m A Browns Fan,” and “Please Kill Me, I’m a Browns Fan.” Did I mention the hijacking, um, relocation of the franchise a decade later? Yeah, that, too.
The Indians came close to a title, but lost in the 1995 World Series to the Braves. And for a super-special encore, they followed that up with the 1997 soul-crushing loss to the Marlins. Do not say the name Jose Mesa in northern Ohio unless you want a fist to the throat.
Those kinds of things take a toll on the collective sports psyche of a town, so much so that ESPN conferred the title of most tortured sports fans on Cleveland a few years back.
But, you say, the Cavaliers have King James! They just got Shaq! This is the year, baby. Except I can’t hear you over the constant, ear-ringing din about Lebron leaving for a bigger market as soon as this contract is up. Every media outlet from Boardman, Oh. to Bristol, Ct. insists he’s already gone, ready to trot off to some bigger market to make more money and become more famous. (I wonder, how much more famous could the guy even be?) Lebron’s assumed departure must hang over Cleveland fans like the sword of Damocles. It’s no way for the city to enjoy what might be the last best chance it has at a title.
Detroit Lions. No list of of futility can skip the team which drives fans to the streets with torches and pitch forks while burning the general manger in effigy. The dome? Football indoors is depressing all by itself. Add the Lions to the equation and I can actually feel my body decaying while I watch them. The Lions draft record was once read at a comedy club. It killed.
Some fans have their hopes dashed every year, but at least they have hope. Despair, thy name is Detroit.
Chicago Cubs. When I was a younger, I thought Cubs fans were reinvigorated each spring. They seemed excited when pitchers and catchers reported for spring training and the tingle of a new start mingled with the spring chill that typically remains on opening day at Wrigley. They kept their hopes for a championship just barely under wraps, but they were there. Oh, they were there. Cubs fans meant it when they said get ‘em next year.
In more recent years, in the post-Bartman era, I get the feeling that a century without a title has gotten the best of them. Cubs faithful are tighter, crankier, and just barely teetering on the edge of sanity. Misery loves company. Maybe it all turned sour after the Boston Red Sox fans and crosstown Chi-White Sox fans got to celebrate in 2004 and 2005. With those historic wins, Cubs fans stood alone as the loneliest long-suffering franchise. It doesn’t seem fun for fans anymore, which is a bummer even for me. Every loss carries the weight of 100 years, every missed opportunity seems inevitable. The Cubs are the face of disappointment. Goats optional.
Honorable mention: L.A. Clippers, Ottawa Senators, N.Y. Jets, Hartford Whalers (I interviewed some locals a couple of years ago for a story on Ron Francis; they’re still bitter).
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Starbuck will up macho factor on '24'
Katee Sackhoff, who brilliantly played our beloved Starbuck (a.k.a., the screwed up boozer ace pilot Kara Thrace), on Battlestar Galactica, will join the high testosterone cast of '24' next season. The network executives at Fox must be looking to increase the lesbian viewership, because Sackhoff (who is a lesbian icon if not an actual lesbian) joins theater legend and huge sapphist Cherry Jones, who plays President Allison Taylor. 
And Sackhoff might be working alongside Janeane Garofalo, who, with her tattoos, hipster eyewear, and progressive politics, is popular among the lesbians even though her orientation seems reliably heterosexual; she has said, however, that she is aware that she "reads gay." After some speculation, it seems Garofalo will return in her role as Janis, a mousy but possibly diabolical 
tech nerd. Garofalo took some heat for accepting the role in 2007 because lefties criticized her choice to work on a series apparently written for torture enthusiasts, and, conversely, right wingers didn't particularly want her hippie ass on the show. Perhaps those folks will be reassured by Starbuck's history of extreme interrogation tactics. Anyway, according to HollywoodReporter.com, Sackhoff will play Dana Walsh, "a smart, competent, expert data analyst... with a secret past." Despite the fact that I can't stand this show—because, 1. it gives me agita, and 2. it seems like spoof; is it actually meant to be a comedy?—I will probably tune in at least once for Sackhoff/Jones/Garofalo.
Monday, July 13, 2009
'Hathaway looks like a young duke who has stepped boldly forth from a classic British portrait of the era, a bright pink bloom on his pallid cheek'!
Our love of Anne Hathaway has grown deeper now that she's shown her gamine side. She's got a soft butch haircut, a uniform, and, apparently, some sword skills—making her irresistible. The L.A. Times said of her debut this summer in the cross-dressing role of Viola in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night in Central Park: "Hathaway has gone from Prada dresses to unflattering menswear." If you repeat the phrase "unflattering menswear" to yourself in the manner of Beavis and Butthead, it sort of captures the gay fear implicit in the promotion of paradigmatic female beauty. Unflattering menswear, heh, heh. The New Yorker published this sensual photograph (above) of Hathaway with fellow cast members, but nonetheless said, "There is something frozen and frightened at the core of her work."
But everyone else seems to be falling for Hathaway-as-boy the way housewives across America have developed a crush on Rachel Maddow. Critics raved about her performance in the production, which closed yesterday. The New York Daily News said Hathaway is "at ease on the stage and with iambic pentameter" and "brings sweet charm and deep poignancy" to the role. Newsday said her costume looked "dashing." The New York Times' Charles Isherwood, in a review titled "I Love You, You're Perfect. You're a Girl?" said, "Hathaway looks like a young duke who has stepped boldly forth from a classic British portrait of the era, a bright pink bloom on his pallid cheek."
Settle down, ladies. The New York Times said she looked like a young duke, not a young dyke. Then again, you can decide for yourself.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Massachusetts challenges constitutionality of DOMA in name of 16,000 married same-sex couples
Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley recently filed a lawsuit in United States District Court challenging the constitutionality of the federal Defense of Marriage Act, also known as DOMA. DOMA defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman and therefore excludes more than 16,000 Massachusetts married same-sex couples from certain federal rights.Coakley's suit (no, not her hot lady suit—the lawsuit) alleges that DOMA, which affects more than 1,100 federal statutory provisions, violates the United States Constitution by interfering with the Commonwealth’s sovereign authority to define and regulate the marital status of its residents.
According to Coakley's press release, six states – Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Maine and New Hampshire – currently permit, or will soon permit, qualified, committed same-sex couples to obtain marriage licenses.
In addition, California continues to honor the marriage licenses that were extended to over 18,000 same-sex couples prior to the passage of Proposition 8. Two other states, New York and Rhode Island, as well as the District of Columbia honor marriages between same-sex couples that are celebrated in Massachusetts. Seven states – California, Nevada, Hawaii, New Jersey, Washington, Wisconsin and Oregon – recognize domestic partnerships or civil unions between same-sex couples.
Twenty-nine other states have enacted what are commonly called mini-DOMAs, which ban marriage between couples of the same sex.
Coakley said on July 8, 2009: “DOMA affects residents of Massachusetts in very real and very negative ways by depriving access to important economic safety nets and other protections that couples count on when they marry and that help them to take care of one another and their families. DOMA also directly and fundamentally interferes with Massachusetts’s right as a state sovereign to determine the marital status of its residents.”
DOMA was enacted in 1996 in anticipation of the possibility that Hawaii might license marriages between same-sex couples.
Friday, July 10, 2009
1995
1995 is my favorite year in the history of music, period. Pretty strange statement, but as I go back and evaluate my life and how music relates to it, this is the pinnacle. People 10 years younger or 10 years older than me would probably find this to be ridiculous, but I think people around my same age might at least see where I am coming from. (One could argue that anyone into underground/indie music would always find their year of high school graduation to be their favorite year in music.) I had been trying to do top 10 lists for every year, but there are so many great albums this year I am writing about 20.
What you’ll find in this post:
Top 20 albums of 1995
Top 5 EPs of 1995
Notable compilation albums
Other notable LPs
Top 5 concerts of 1995
Top 20 albums of 1995:
1. Sixpence None the Richer- This Beautiful Mess
Without question, is my favorite album of all time. No music has ever impacted me the way this album has. When it was released in April of 1995 I listened to nothing else but it for weeks. I can still remember walking around with my CD Walkman listening to it wherever I went. This was in the middle of my only high school track season, and I can remember listening to it on the bus traveling to meets, at the meets, etc. I have no real way of describing my taste in music to anyone (in 2009, I most often say “indie rock”). But as far as my favorite style, it would be female-fronted rock (5 of the top 10 albums on this 1995 list fall in this category). That is what this album is, and I think the best example of female-fronted rock that has ever been recorded. As much as I like the rest of Sixpence’s catalog, none of it touches “This Beautiful Mess”. Sixpence’s line-up was ridiculous for this album also, the best line-up of the dozens they have had in their 15 year existence: Matt Slocum & Leigh Bingham Nash of course, plus Tess Wiley on rhythm guitar and bgv’s, J.J. Plasencio on bass, and Dale Baker on drums. You know a band is good when the three members no longer in the band have their own websites. Best Song: “Love, Salvation, the Fear of Death” (In honor of this album, I scanned all the pages from the packaging and you can see this artwork in an album I created on Picasa. For a slideshow of these images, look to the right of this page.)
2. The Prayer Chain- Mercury
Revolutionary. I have never heard anything remotely like it and probably never will. The first time I listened to it I borrowed the cassette from my friend Jay on some FBC trip, I think choir tour. My first impression was, “I think I like it, but is it just one long, song?” Most of the songs do blend into one another, and the song structures are very different than what the band (or anyone) had been doing previously. My favorite song on the album, “Sky High” is 9 minutes long. Guitar work is incredible, tons of different tones, effects and recording methods.
3. Luxury- Amazing and Thank You
I dreamed for years of having Luxury perform at my wedding. I guess I could have made it happen, but it was kind of silly. I settled for having their song “Solid Gold” played at my wedding reception. This is the first and best of the four Luxury albums. Luxury is meant to be experienced live, and I am thankful I got to see them at least 5 times. They are easily the best band I have ever seen in concert, and I have seen hundreds. They have great stage presence and are high energy. This album is a balance of short, fast songs like “Pink Revenge” and “Flaming Youth” and long, dramatic songs like “Kill the Famous” and the aforementioned “Solid Gold.” One last memory of Luxury and my favorite song of theirs: one time when “Solid Gold” was played on the A-Zone radio show, the deejays, apparently impatient for it to end, cut it off. They stopped playing it before the climax and I will never forgive them! :) The song is long, but every second is important.
4. The Innocence Mission- Glow
Unlike most of the bands on this list, I cannot remember when I first heard them or where or when I got this album. The best quiet “rock” band ever. Well, at least they were rock, after this album, they lost their drummer and settled into a minimalistic folk band. Another one of the many husband/wife bands, Kerin and Don Peris make beautiful, peaceful music. One of the very few of my favorite bands I have never seen in concert. They are still active, and I almost saw them in Philadelphia two summers ago. Best Song: “That Was Another Country”
5. Argyle Park- Misguided
If you have never heard this album, it is terrifying. If I ever need to torture a country or pop music fan, I will put them in my car, turn this album all the way up, and play it in its entirety. It is my favorite industrial album ever and in most years would have ended up much higher than #5 on a list. Extremely diverse for an industrial album, because of wild instrumentation beyond electronics, and because of a rotating cast of lead vocalists including Klay Scott (Scott Albert/Celldweller/Circle of Dust), Jyro (Mortal, Fold Zandura, LCNA) and Mark Salomon (The Crucified, Stavesacre). Best song: “Doomsayer”
6. Sunny Day Real Estate- LP2** (The Pink Album)
Probably my least favorite of the four SDRE albums, not because it isn’t good, it is great. It just seems thrown together, which it was. The band broke up during the recording of it, and it wasn’t really ever finished. Some of the songs are outtakes from ‘Diary’. If you are unfamiliar with the rest of the band’s work, you wouldn’t think anything of it, but their other three albums are perfectly cohesive. Guitar and bass riffs are outstanding, especially on my two favorite tracks, “8” and “J’nuh”. I’ve been writing lots about SDRE recently because of their 2009 reunion tour. LP2 and ‘Diary’ will both be re-released in Sept. 2009 on Sub-Pop records with new, extensive liner notes and bonus tracks.
7. Morella's Forest- SuperDeluxe
I don’t listen to this album anywhere near enough. Released during the hay-day of Tooth & Nail, I think I originally bought it because of the cool packaging (Also I am sure I heard it on the A-Zone.) Produced by Chris Colbert, I think this is his masterpiece. He has worked on tons of great albums, including #2 on this list, but most of the time he was working with much more talented musicians. Not to take anything away from the members of MoFo (yes, the band did really have a shirt that said “MoFo” on the back), but it is clear the sound of this album was directed heavily by Colbert. He has been referred to as “The King of Noise”, and that is what you get here with a heavy My Bloody Valentine shoegaze sound. Sydney’s vocals are great, but the wall of guitars and feedback is the focus. The first of four Morella’s Forest LPs, this is the only one that ever really grabbed me. The others are good, but are more in the pop-rock style and not at all shoegaze. Best song: “Fizzlekiss”
8. Fleming & John- Delusions of Grandeur
This is the first of many albums that I refer to as “highly anticipated.” In present day, I am always counting down to the release of the next album being put out by one of my favorite artists (my current highly anticipated are the next Fair and Thrice albums). I know actual release dates, and I can generally tell you what the status is of ever artist I follow closely (on tour, in the studio, on hiatus, etc.). In 1995 and before, that was not the case. All of this music was so new to me, when I discovered an artist, chances are they had already released 2 or 3 albums for me to buy and check out.
Well, in 1995, Fleming & John was the exception. Due to their contribution to 1994’s Steve Taylor Tribute ("Harder to Believe than Not to") and their song, “I’m Not Afraid”, I was dying to hear an album by them. However, in 1994, they didn’t have an album. But “I’m Not Afraid” was being played on the radio often, both by the A-Zone and Thunder 94.
In January 1994 my brother and I saw Fleming & John play in the basement of an old fraternity house at Vanderbilt. We spent the night with a college student who volunteered at FBC, I cannot remember his name. Anyway, it was a great show, and my first “real” concert. They said their album was “coming soon”. And then a few weeks later, we got postcards in the mail announcing “Delusions of Grandeur” would be released in March on REX records. For those of who are young; tours, concerts, etc. were all announced via mail, usually a postcard from a band or record label. (Yep, I did keep all those postcards.)
The album is/was great, and “I’m Not Afraid” was my song of the year in 1995. For those of you who know this band and this song, there are actually three versions of it. The radio single that was played prior to March 1995 was a different recording than ended up on the album. The original version had a guitar intro that sounded a little too much like Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit”, even though “I’m Not Afraid” was recorded before it, as far as I know. Then in 1996 Universal Records re-released “Delusions of Grandeur” with new artwork. Most assume the two versions are identical musically, but a few songs were re-recorded with minor adjustments, including “I’m Not Afraid.”
9. Hoi Polloi- Happy Ever After
Hoi Polloi is actually from New Zealand, but all three of their albums were recorded in Nashville where the band lived for at least five years. This is their third and final album, but as far as I know, the only one they were actually proud of. The first two are over-produced, and sound a little too generic and poppy. This one is extremely raw with awesome, powerful guitars. The band was fronted by Jenny Gullen, who had a unique voice and great persona. She actually played a solo show at FBC once, but unfortunately I missed it. I was fortunate enough to see them play live though at least three times. The best song is “Tiptoe”, which actually received some mainstream radio play in Nashville on Thunder 94. You keep hearing me refer to Thunder 94, which as far as I know, was the best mainstream radio station ever. Similar to 99X in Atlanta, but without all the talk and a little more underground. Thunder 94 was the sister station to Lightning 100, which still exists to this day.
This was Hoi Polloi’s final album, but they did release a last demo cassette in 1996, “Only Flying,” which contained possibly their best songs ever. It is too bad the band broke up and move backed to New Zealand before completing another LP.
10. Smashing Pumpkins- Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness*
My introduction to this album was the “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” music video, which was my introduction to MTV (didn't have cable until college). Best song: "Galapogos". Don’t think I need to say much more about this one.
11. Starflyer 59- Gold**
Starflyer is probably the most prolific band I am a fan of. They have 11 LPs, not to mention tons of EPs, live albums, compilations, etc. This is their second album, and my favorite. Once again a display of how deep the year of 1995 is in music; there are many years that have Starflyer albums in the top 10 that are not as good as this one. ‘Gold’ is probably the hardest album Starflyer ever released, with the most guitar feedback. Has some of my favorite CD packaging ever, which was recently recycled for last year’s ‘Ghosts of the Future’ 10 x 7” vinyl set (as seen in this photo). Also worth mentioning, Starflyer 59 is not really a band, it is Jason Martin, songwriter/guitarist/vocalist plus whatever friends happen to be nearby. For this album, that happened to be some great musicians, such as Wayne Everett and Gene Eugene. Best song: “When You Feel the Mess”
12. Blenderhead- Muchacho Vivo
I was a big fan of the first Blenderhead album, but nothing could have prepared me for this. The band matured drastically, musically and lyrically, for this, their second LP. Many of these songs I heard for the first time at Blenderhead concert in June of 1995 (see more below in the concerts section). The first Blenderhead album was angry (and the third one also sort of is, for that matter), but this one is more melodic and refined. One interesting thing about this CD, three of the songs are combined into a single track. This was a nightmare as a deejay, which resulted in us playing the wrong song on occasion. Through a quick internet search, I discovered lead singer/songwriter Bill Power has a new band, called the Ted Kennedys. Best song: “Breaking Skin”
13. Raspberry Jam- Oceanic
For a long time I referred to this album as “water-mercury”. Pretty dumb, I know, but it shares some similarities to the Prayer Chain’s ‘Mercury’ released also this year: long songs that blend together with fantastic, interesting guitar tones. Distinctly different that ‘Mercury’ though, most notably with female lead vocals. And the song-writing is much more straight-forward. I am not a fan of the band’s first album ‘Chi-Rho’, but it is worth mentioning that the album sounds like it is from a completely different band. I never got to see them live, and I wonder how they blended songs from both releases. Herb Grimaud was an important part of this band from a song-writing perspective, and Herb later played bass in for the Violet Burning in the best shows I ever saw them do. The Violets have had lots of line-ups, but the best had to be Michael Pritzl with Andy Prickett on lead guitar, Herb on bass, and Chuck Cummings on drums. Back to ‘Oceanic’, best song is “Easter”.
14. The Blamed- Frail
The Blamed released lots of albums, and they all featured different line-ups, the only member that appears on all of them is guitarist Brian Gray. This is their best work, a phenomenal hardcore punk album. When I got it, it was by far the heaviest thing I had ever heard. I found the screaming to be fascinating, especially that they were screaming theologically interesting lyrics. “Breeze” is the best and mellowest song on the album, which I played on my radio show often. Interesting fact: the Blamed’s lead “singer” on this album was Jeremy Moffett, who was Stavesacre’s original drummer. Just did a quick online search and discovered Brian Gray has a new band called The Satire, which originally went by the name “The Blamed is Dead.” The Satire just performed last week at the Cornerstone Festival.
15. Vigilantes of Love- Blister Soul
The first time I ever saw Vigilantes of Love in concert was on the ‘Blister Soul’ tour at Zydeco in Birmingham in 1996. Up until that point I had been curious about VOL, but didn’t care for Bill Mallonee’s voice. The show blew me away though, and I became a big fan; it would become the first of at least 15 times I have seen VOL or Bill live. This is one of the best albums Bill & VOL ever released. He has released around 20 full-length albums, and I would put ‘Audible Sigh’ #1 and ‘Blister Soul’ #2. This album is the closest Bill ever flirted with fame, as “Real Down Town” received some mainstream airplay in Atlanta and Nashville. Best song: “Skin”
16. Adam Again- Perfecta
This was the unfortunately the final Adam Again album, due the premature death of band leader Gene Eugene. Eugene left his stamp all over the Christian underground music scene, as a songwriter, singer, producer, etc. “Stone”, the first song on the album, is one of my favorite songs of all time. Adam Again was always kind of a funky rock band, but they were at their best with slow, mellow songs, like this album’s “Every Mother’s Way.” Heard for the first time on the A-Zone, of course.
17. & 18. Michael Knott- Strip Cycle and Fluid
1995 was near the end of the prolific, outstanding Knott era. ‘Strip Cycle’ contains my favorite Knott song ever, “Tattoo.” The album has a logical name, as it is very stripped down, mostly just an out-of-tune guitar. ‘Fluid’ is the polar opposite, a full-out rock album with Andrew Carter on lead guitar. ‘Fluid’ was the precursor for Knott’s band, the Aunt Bettys, releasing their debut in 1996. Some seem to think ‘Fluid ‘ released in 1996, but the date on the back of my copy says 1995 and I am almost positive I bought it that year. Knott also released the Lifesavers album “Huntington Beach” in 1995. For an extensive, complete Knott discography, click here.
19. Radiohead- The Bends*
I hated Radiohead in 1995. Pretty funny to say that now, but I saw them open for REM in the fall of that year, and I despised every minute of their show. The only memory I have of it is the insane number of f-words Thom Yorke said during their short set. The only Radiohead song I knew at the time was “Creep”, which I still think is terrible. It wasn’t until ‘OK Computer’ came out until I ever went back to check out this album, which is now my 2nd favorite Radiohead release.
20. MxPx- Teenage Politics**- My favorite MxPx album, the only one I still listen to with any regularity. At the time, it was probably in my top 5 albums of this year. Vinyl is clear-blue.
Top 5 EPs:
1. Poor Old Lu- Straight Six
If not for being an EP, this would challenge to be Lu’s best album. A dramatic shift from ‘Sin’, this EP is much mellower and diverse. Instrumentation broadened significantly, but also includes some of the band’s best songs. If Lu had ever had a radio single, “For the Love of My Country” would have been it. Also features Jeremy Enigk singing a duet with Scott on the song “Digging Deep” and the EP concludes with a cover of the Swoon’s “Speak Soft.”
2. Splendora (Tess Wiley)- Bootleg Pre-release version
Tess Wiley’s first release, released soon after she left Sixpence. Contains the original version of my favorite Tess song, “Rainy Day Assembly”, recorded during Sixpence’s ‘This Beautiful Mess’ sessions. It is acoustic, but the rest of the EP is full of distorted guitars with lots of feedback. This EP also concludes with a great cover, Billy Idol’s “Eyes Without a Face.” Tess dropped Splendora for the moniker Phantasmic, and these songs were re-released the following year on the Fluffy vs. Phantasmic CD. And with the exception of the Billy Idol cover, all of the other songs on this EP have since been re-recorded (with drastic changes) and placed onto Tess’ solo albums.
3. Starflyer 59- Le Vainqueur
Contains my favorite Starflyer song, the title track. Radio edit version of song is worthless, make sure you listen to the full version.
4. Morella’s Forest- Hang-Out
Companion disc for ‘Super-Deluxe’, including a cover of Til Tuesday’s “Voices Carry.”
5. Joy Electric- Five Stars for Failure
The only Joy Electric release I have ever listened to with any consistency. My favorite Joy Electric song can be found here, the original version of “The Girl From Rosewood Lane.” Overall has a much darker feel than most of Joy Electric’s “happy” music.
Compilations:
Artcore Volume 1- An unbelievable sampler from Tooth & Nail, unique because it is all exclusive tracks: debut song from Rose Blossom Punch, also Joy Electric, Havalina, MxPx, Starflyer 2000 (Jason Martin with Leigh Nash on vocals)
Noel- My favorite Christmas album ever released, collaborators include Steve Hindalong, Derri Daugherty, Michael Pritzl, Jenny Gullen and Buddy & Julie Miller
Other notable albums from 1995 in random order:
Joe Christmas- Upstairs, Overlooking- Best radio single never played on the radio: “Coupleskate”
Dime Store Prophets- Love is Against the Grain- Perry of The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers called this his favorite album of all time that year
No Doubt- Tragic Kingdom
Black Eyed Sceva- Way Before the Flood- please record more music, Jeremy Post, you must be out there somewhere!
Fold Zandura- s/t- also known as 'Dark Divine', new band from Jyro and Jerome of Mortal
Mortal- Pura- strangest of all the Mortal releases, as it is almost entirely instrumental with a completely different sound. Two songs are “old” Mortal and one song has female vocals
Sometime Sunday- Drain- Can still remember my brother talking about how he loved it when Mikee’s voice cracked
77s- Tom Tom Blues- Best song: “Don’t Leave Me Long”
Michael Roe- Safe as Milk- make sure you get the full, 12-song version
Johnny Q. Public- Extra-Ordinary- Best song: “Big Top”
Focused- The Hope that lies Within
Plankeye- The Spark -was top-5 at the time, didn't age well
Jars of Clay- s/t- I think the band improved dramatically over the years, but this was probably their peak in popularity due to “Flood.” Best song is “World’s Apart”
Collective Soul- s/t- you must watch the video for “The World I Know”
311- s/t- “Don’t Stay Home”!
Top 5 concerts attended in 1995 (this was the year I began attending shows):
1. Dakoda Motor Co., Hoi Polloi & Johnny Q. Public at Rocketown in Franklin, TN. In March, went with Jay (& Bethany?), Larissa and Keith. Must have been one other person, because we had three people squeezed into the front seat of the Bonneville. Davia had already left Dakoda Motor Co. at the time, but the show was still great with Melissa. DMC is still in the process of recording a new album, although it is taking them years. They did play a show as recent as Memorial Day 2009. Track their progress on Twitter.
2. The Prayer Chain & The Throes at the Crush Warehouse in Birmingham, AL. In September, went with Phil and we got there early to work the merch tables. I did the Prayer Chain’s, Phil did the Throes. Got some free merch along with meeting the Prayer Chain guys. Phil and I promoted this along with all the Crush shows on our radio show, the B.A.Zone. The following photo I took at that show:
3. Luxury, Starflyer 59, Morella’s Forest and Joe Christmas at the Pteradactyl in Marietta, GA. In October, went with David, Mark and Phil I think. We had seen the Birmingham show the night before that was just SF59 and MoFo. Luxury made a surprise appearance and played ‘Solid Gold’, their first performance after the horrific van wreck. The following photo I took at the Birmingham show:
4. MxPx & Blenderhead at some hole in the wall called the Metro in Chattanooga, TN. In June, this was the first road trip my brother Keith and I took by ourselves, the summer after I graduated. We were pumped to say the least. We got there really early and ended up helping the bands unload their gear through the front door (only door in the club). At one point I can remember sitting in the van with MxPx guys and showing them where Chattanooga was on a map. They had just graduated from high school (like me) and had never been out of the Northwest. We put an "MxPx & Blenderhead" or bust sign in our car, sounds like something two teenagers would do. On the way back Keith got pulled over for speeding, but he wasn't really going that fast, and he did not get a ticket. I had been pulled over less than a month before, also going less than 10 over, and also did not get a ticket.
5. Sixpence None the Richer at Park South Hall in Birmingham, AL. In November, I had to borrow a car to get to the show. My friends went early, but I was unwilling to go because I was watching the second half of the Iron Bowl (War Eagle!) in my dorm room. After the game ended I scrambled to find a car and got some guy I barely knew to drive me over to Park South Hall. Afterwards there was a signing with the band at LifeWay, so I got to meet all the members of my favorite band.
Best radio single of the year:
Jill Sobule- Bitter- I love this song! Thank you Thunder 94.
I just found a random mix I made in 1995, which lists my top 11 favorite bands at the time:
1. Dakoda Motor Co., 2. Sixpence None the Richer, 3. Poor Old Lu, 4. The Prayer Chain, 5. Mortal, 6. MxPx, 7. Fleming & John, 8. Hoi Polloi, 9. Morella's Forest, 10. Plankeye, 11. Starflyer 59. Four of those bands are still in my top 10 today.
What you’ll find in this post:
Top 20 albums of 1995
Top 5 EPs of 1995
Notable compilation albums
Other notable LPs
Top 5 concerts of 1995
Top 20 albums of 1995:
1. Sixpence None the Richer- This Beautiful Mess
Without question, is my favorite album of all time. No music has ever impacted me the way this album has. When it was released in April of 1995 I listened to nothing else but it for weeks. I can still remember walking around with my CD Walkman listening to it wherever I went. This was in the middle of my only high school track season, and I can remember listening to it on the bus traveling to meets, at the meets, etc. I have no real way of describing my taste in music to anyone (in 2009, I most often say “indie rock”). But as far as my favorite style, it would be female-fronted rock (5 of the top 10 albums on this 1995 list fall in this category). That is what this album is, and I think the best example of female-fronted rock that has ever been recorded. As much as I like the rest of Sixpence’s catalog, none of it touches “This Beautiful Mess”. Sixpence’s line-up was ridiculous for this album also, the best line-up of the dozens they have had in their 15 year existence: Matt Slocum & Leigh Bingham Nash of course, plus Tess Wiley on rhythm guitar and bgv’s, J.J. Plasencio on bass, and Dale Baker on drums. You know a band is good when the three members no longer in the band have their own websites. Best Song: “Love, Salvation, the Fear of Death” (In honor of this album, I scanned all the pages from the packaging and you can see this artwork in an album I created on Picasa. For a slideshow of these images, look to the right of this page.)2. The Prayer Chain- Mercury
Revolutionary. I have never heard anything remotely like it and probably never will. The first time I listened to it I borrowed the cassette from my friend Jay on some FBC trip, I think choir tour. My first impression was, “I think I like it, but is it just one long, song?” Most of the songs do blend into one another, and the song structures are very different than what the band (or anyone) had been doing previously. My favorite song on the album, “Sky High” is 9 minutes long. Guitar work is incredible, tons of different tones, effects and recording methods.
3. Luxury- Amazing and Thank You
I dreamed for years of having Luxury perform at my wedding. I guess I could have made it happen, but it was kind of silly. I settled for having their song “Solid Gold” played at my wedding reception. This is the first and best of the four Luxury albums. Luxury is meant to be experienced live, and I am thankful I got to see them at least 5 times. They are easily the best band I have ever seen in concert, and I have seen hundreds. They have great stage presence and are high energy. This album is a balance of short, fast songs like “Pink Revenge” and “Flaming Youth” and long, dramatic songs like “Kill the Famous” and the aforementioned “Solid Gold.” One last memory of Luxury and my favorite song of theirs: one time when “Solid Gold” was played on the A-Zone radio show, the deejays, apparently impatient for it to end, cut it off. They stopped playing it before the climax and I will never forgive them! :) The song is long, but every second is important.
4. The Innocence Mission- Glow
Unlike most of the bands on this list, I cannot remember when I first heard them or where or when I got this album. The best quiet “rock” band ever. Well, at least they were rock, after this album, they lost their drummer and settled into a minimalistic folk band. Another one of the many husband/wife bands, Kerin and Don Peris make beautiful, peaceful music. One of the very few of my favorite bands I have never seen in concert. They are still active, and I almost saw them in Philadelphia two summers ago. Best Song: “That Was Another Country”
5. Argyle Park- Misguided
If you have never heard this album, it is terrifying. If I ever need to torture a country or pop music fan, I will put them in my car, turn this album all the way up, and play it in its entirety. It is my favorite industrial album ever and in most years would have ended up much higher than #5 on a list. Extremely diverse for an industrial album, because of wild instrumentation beyond electronics, and because of a rotating cast of lead vocalists including Klay Scott (Scott Albert/Celldweller/Circle of Dust), Jyro (Mortal, Fold Zandura, LCNA) and Mark Salomon (The Crucified, Stavesacre). Best song: “Doomsayer”
6. Sunny Day Real Estate- LP2** (The Pink Album)
Probably my least favorite of the four SDRE albums, not because it isn’t good, it is great. It just seems thrown together, which it was. The band broke up during the recording of it, and it wasn’t really ever finished. Some of the songs are outtakes from ‘Diary’. If you are unfamiliar with the rest of the band’s work, you wouldn’t think anything of it, but their other three albums are perfectly cohesive. Guitar and bass riffs are outstanding, especially on my two favorite tracks, “8” and “J’nuh”. I’ve been writing lots about SDRE recently because of their 2009 reunion tour. LP2 and ‘Diary’ will both be re-released in Sept. 2009 on Sub-Pop records with new, extensive liner notes and bonus tracks.
7. Morella's Forest- SuperDeluxe
I don’t listen to this album anywhere near enough. Released during the hay-day of Tooth & Nail, I think I originally bought it because of the cool packaging (Also I am sure I heard it on the A-Zone.) Produced by Chris Colbert, I think this is his masterpiece. He has worked on tons of great albums, including #2 on this list, but most of the time he was working with much more talented musicians. Not to take anything away from the members of MoFo (yes, the band did really have a shirt that said “MoFo” on the back), but it is clear the sound of this album was directed heavily by Colbert. He has been referred to as “The King of Noise”, and that is what you get here with a heavy My Bloody Valentine shoegaze sound. Sydney’s vocals are great, but the wall of guitars and feedback is the focus. The first of four Morella’s Forest LPs, this is the only one that ever really grabbed me. The others are good, but are more in the pop-rock style and not at all shoegaze. Best song: “Fizzlekiss”
8. Fleming & John- Delusions of Grandeur
This is the first of many albums that I refer to as “highly anticipated.” In present day, I am always counting down to the release of the next album being put out by one of my favorite artists (my current highly anticipated are the next Fair and Thrice albums). I know actual release dates, and I can generally tell you what the status is of ever artist I follow closely (on tour, in the studio, on hiatus, etc.). In 1995 and before, that was not the case. All of this music was so new to me, when I discovered an artist, chances are they had already released 2 or 3 albums for me to buy and check out.
Well, in 1995, Fleming & John was the exception. Due to their contribution to 1994’s Steve Taylor Tribute ("Harder to Believe than Not to") and their song, “I’m Not Afraid”, I was dying to hear an album by them. However, in 1994, they didn’t have an album. But “I’m Not Afraid” was being played on the radio often, both by the A-Zone and Thunder 94.
In January 1994 my brother and I saw Fleming & John play in the basement of an old fraternity house at Vanderbilt. We spent the night with a college student who volunteered at FBC, I cannot remember his name. Anyway, it was a great show, and my first “real” concert. They said their album was “coming soon”. And then a few weeks later, we got postcards in the mail announcing “Delusions of Grandeur” would be released in March on REX records. For those of who are young; tours, concerts, etc. were all announced via mail, usually a postcard from a band or record label. (Yep, I did keep all those postcards.)
The album is/was great, and “I’m Not Afraid” was my song of the year in 1995. For those of you who know this band and this song, there are actually three versions of it. The radio single that was played prior to March 1995 was a different recording than ended up on the album. The original version had a guitar intro that sounded a little too much like Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit”, even though “I’m Not Afraid” was recorded before it, as far as I know. Then in 1996 Universal Records re-released “Delusions of Grandeur” with new artwork. Most assume the two versions are identical musically, but a few songs were re-recorded with minor adjustments, including “I’m Not Afraid.”
9. Hoi Polloi- Happy Ever After
Hoi Polloi is actually from New Zealand, but all three of their albums were recorded in Nashville where the band lived for at least five years. This is their third and final album, but as far as I know, the only one they were actually proud of. The first two are over-produced, and sound a little too generic and poppy. This one is extremely raw with awesome, powerful guitars. The band was fronted by Jenny Gullen, who had a unique voice and great persona. She actually played a solo show at FBC once, but unfortunately I missed it. I was fortunate enough to see them play live though at least three times. The best song is “Tiptoe”, which actually received some mainstream radio play in Nashville on Thunder 94. You keep hearing me refer to Thunder 94, which as far as I know, was the best mainstream radio station ever. Similar to 99X in Atlanta, but without all the talk and a little more underground. Thunder 94 was the sister station to Lightning 100, which still exists to this day.
This was Hoi Polloi’s final album, but they did release a last demo cassette in 1996, “Only Flying,” which contained possibly their best songs ever. It is too bad the band broke up and move backed to New Zealand before completing another LP.
10. Smashing Pumpkins- Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness*
My introduction to this album was the “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” music video, which was my introduction to MTV (didn't have cable until college). Best song: "Galapogos". Don’t think I need to say much more about this one.
11. Starflyer 59- Gold**
Starflyer is probably the most prolific band I am a fan of. They have 11 LPs, not to mention tons of EPs, live albums, compilations, etc. This is their second album, and my favorite. Once again a display of how deep the year of 1995 is in music; there are many years that have Starflyer albums in the top 10 that are not as good as this one. ‘Gold’ is probably the hardest album Starflyer ever released, with the most guitar feedback. Has some of my favorite CD packaging ever, which was recently recycled for last year’s ‘Ghosts of the Future’ 10 x 7” vinyl set (as seen in this photo). Also worth mentioning, Starflyer 59 is not really a band, it is Jason Martin, songwriter/guitarist/vocalist plus whatever friends happen to be nearby. For this album, that happened to be some great musicians, such as Wayne Everett and Gene Eugene. Best song: “When You Feel the Mess”12. Blenderhead- Muchacho Vivo
I was a big fan of the first Blenderhead album, but nothing could have prepared me for this. The band matured drastically, musically and lyrically, for this, their second LP. Many of these songs I heard for the first time at Blenderhead concert in June of 1995 (see more below in the concerts section). The first Blenderhead album was angry (and the third one also sort of is, for that matter), but this one is more melodic and refined. One interesting thing about this CD, three of the songs are combined into a single track. This was a nightmare as a deejay, which resulted in us playing the wrong song on occasion. Through a quick internet search, I discovered lead singer/songwriter Bill Power has a new band, called the Ted Kennedys. Best song: “Breaking Skin”
13. Raspberry Jam- Oceanic
For a long time I referred to this album as “water-mercury”. Pretty dumb, I know, but it shares some similarities to the Prayer Chain’s ‘Mercury’ released also this year: long songs that blend together with fantastic, interesting guitar tones. Distinctly different that ‘Mercury’ though, most notably with female lead vocals. And the song-writing is much more straight-forward. I am not a fan of the band’s first album ‘Chi-Rho’, but it is worth mentioning that the album sounds like it is from a completely different band. I never got to see them live, and I wonder how they blended songs from both releases. Herb Grimaud was an important part of this band from a song-writing perspective, and Herb later played bass in for the Violet Burning in the best shows I ever saw them do. The Violets have had lots of line-ups, but the best had to be Michael Pritzl with Andy Prickett on lead guitar, Herb on bass, and Chuck Cummings on drums. Back to ‘Oceanic’, best song is “Easter”.
14. The Blamed- Frail
The Blamed released lots of albums, and they all featured different line-ups, the only member that appears on all of them is guitarist Brian Gray. This is their best work, a phenomenal hardcore punk album. When I got it, it was by far the heaviest thing I had ever heard. I found the screaming to be fascinating, especially that they were screaming theologically interesting lyrics. “Breeze” is the best and mellowest song on the album, which I played on my radio show often. Interesting fact: the Blamed’s lead “singer” on this album was Jeremy Moffett, who was Stavesacre’s original drummer. Just did a quick online search and discovered Brian Gray has a new band called The Satire, which originally went by the name “The Blamed is Dead.” The Satire just performed last week at the Cornerstone Festival.
15. Vigilantes of Love- Blister Soul
The first time I ever saw Vigilantes of Love in concert was on the ‘Blister Soul’ tour at Zydeco in Birmingham in 1996. Up until that point I had been curious about VOL, but didn’t care for Bill Mallonee’s voice. The show blew me away though, and I became a big fan; it would become the first of at least 15 times I have seen VOL or Bill live. This is one of the best albums Bill & VOL ever released. He has released around 20 full-length albums, and I would put ‘Audible Sigh’ #1 and ‘Blister Soul’ #2. This album is the closest Bill ever flirted with fame, as “Real Down Town” received some mainstream airplay in Atlanta and Nashville. Best song: “Skin”
16. Adam Again- Perfecta
This was the unfortunately the final Adam Again album, due the premature death of band leader Gene Eugene. Eugene left his stamp all over the Christian underground music scene, as a songwriter, singer, producer, etc. “Stone”, the first song on the album, is one of my favorite songs of all time. Adam Again was always kind of a funky rock band, but they were at their best with slow, mellow songs, like this album’s “Every Mother’s Way.” Heard for the first time on the A-Zone, of course.
17. & 18. Michael Knott- Strip Cycle and Fluid
1995 was near the end of the prolific, outstanding Knott era. ‘Strip Cycle’ contains my favorite Knott song ever, “Tattoo.” The album has a logical name, as it is very stripped down, mostly just an out-of-tune guitar. ‘Fluid’ is the polar opposite, a full-out rock album with Andrew Carter on lead guitar. ‘Fluid’ was the precursor for Knott’s band, the Aunt Bettys, releasing their debut in 1996. Some seem to think ‘Fluid ‘ released in 1996, but the date on the back of my copy says 1995 and I am almost positive I bought it that year. Knott also released the Lifesavers album “Huntington Beach” in 1995. For an extensive, complete Knott discography, click here.
19. Radiohead- The Bends*
I hated Radiohead in 1995. Pretty funny to say that now, but I saw them open for REM in the fall of that year, and I despised every minute of their show. The only memory I have of it is the insane number of f-words Thom Yorke said during their short set. The only Radiohead song I knew at the time was “Creep”, which I still think is terrible. It wasn’t until ‘OK Computer’ came out until I ever went back to check out this album, which is now my 2nd favorite Radiohead release.
20. MxPx- Teenage Politics**- My favorite MxPx album, the only one I still listen to with any regularity. At the time, it was probably in my top 5 albums of this year. Vinyl is clear-blue.
Top 5 EPs:
1. Poor Old Lu- Straight Six
If not for being an EP, this would challenge to be Lu’s best album. A dramatic shift from ‘Sin’, this EP is much mellower and diverse. Instrumentation broadened significantly, but also includes some of the band’s best songs. If Lu had ever had a radio single, “For the Love of My Country” would have been it. Also features Jeremy Enigk singing a duet with Scott on the song “Digging Deep” and the EP concludes with a cover of the Swoon’s “Speak Soft.”
2. Splendora (Tess Wiley)- Bootleg Pre-release version
Tess Wiley’s first release, released soon after she left Sixpence. Contains the original version of my favorite Tess song, “Rainy Day Assembly”, recorded during Sixpence’s ‘This Beautiful Mess’ sessions. It is acoustic, but the rest of the EP is full of distorted guitars with lots of feedback. This EP also concludes with a great cover, Billy Idol’s “Eyes Without a Face.” Tess dropped Splendora for the moniker Phantasmic, and these songs were re-released the following year on the Fluffy vs. Phantasmic CD. And with the exception of the Billy Idol cover, all of the other songs on this EP have since been re-recorded (with drastic changes) and placed onto Tess’ solo albums.
3. Starflyer 59- Le Vainqueur
Contains my favorite Starflyer song, the title track. Radio edit version of song is worthless, make sure you listen to the full version.
4. Morella’s Forest- Hang-Out
Companion disc for ‘Super-Deluxe’, including a cover of Til Tuesday’s “Voices Carry.”
5. Joy Electric- Five Stars for Failure
The only Joy Electric release I have ever listened to with any consistency. My favorite Joy Electric song can be found here, the original version of “The Girl From Rosewood Lane.” Overall has a much darker feel than most of Joy Electric’s “happy” music.
Compilations:
Artcore Volume 1- An unbelievable sampler from Tooth & Nail, unique because it is all exclusive tracks: debut song from Rose Blossom Punch, also Joy Electric, Havalina, MxPx, Starflyer 2000 (Jason Martin with Leigh Nash on vocals)
Noel- My favorite Christmas album ever released, collaborators include Steve Hindalong, Derri Daugherty, Michael Pritzl, Jenny Gullen and Buddy & Julie Miller
Other notable albums from 1995 in random order:
Joe Christmas- Upstairs, Overlooking- Best radio single never played on the radio: “Coupleskate”
Dime Store Prophets- Love is Against the Grain- Perry of The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers called this his favorite album of all time that year
No Doubt- Tragic Kingdom
Black Eyed Sceva- Way Before the Flood- please record more music, Jeremy Post, you must be out there somewhere!
Fold Zandura- s/t- also known as 'Dark Divine', new band from Jyro and Jerome of Mortal
Mortal- Pura- strangest of all the Mortal releases, as it is almost entirely instrumental with a completely different sound. Two songs are “old” Mortal and one song has female vocals
Sometime Sunday- Drain- Can still remember my brother talking about how he loved it when Mikee’s voice cracked
77s- Tom Tom Blues- Best song: “Don’t Leave Me Long”
Michael Roe- Safe as Milk- make sure you get the full, 12-song version
Johnny Q. Public- Extra-Ordinary- Best song: “Big Top”
Focused- The Hope that lies Within
Plankeye- The Spark -was top-5 at the time, didn't age well
Jars of Clay- s/t- I think the band improved dramatically over the years, but this was probably their peak in popularity due to “Flood.” Best song is “World’s Apart”
Collective Soul- s/t- you must watch the video for “The World I Know”
311- s/t- “Don’t Stay Home”!
Top 5 concerts attended in 1995 (this was the year I began attending shows):
1. Dakoda Motor Co., Hoi Polloi & Johnny Q. Public at Rocketown in Franklin, TN. In March, went with Jay (& Bethany?), Larissa and Keith. Must have been one other person, because we had three people squeezed into the front seat of the Bonneville. Davia had already left Dakoda Motor Co. at the time, but the show was still great with Melissa. DMC is still in the process of recording a new album, although it is taking them years. They did play a show as recent as Memorial Day 2009. Track their progress on Twitter.
2. The Prayer Chain & The Throes at the Crush Warehouse in Birmingham, AL. In September, went with Phil and we got there early to work the merch tables. I did the Prayer Chain’s, Phil did the Throes. Got some free merch along with meeting the Prayer Chain guys. Phil and I promoted this along with all the Crush shows on our radio show, the B.A.Zone. The following photo I took at that show:
3. Luxury, Starflyer 59, Morella’s Forest and Joe Christmas at the Pteradactyl in Marietta, GA. In October, went with David, Mark and Phil I think. We had seen the Birmingham show the night before that was just SF59 and MoFo. Luxury made a surprise appearance and played ‘Solid Gold’, their first performance after the horrific van wreck. The following photo I took at the Birmingham show:
4. MxPx & Blenderhead at some hole in the wall called the Metro in Chattanooga, TN. In June, this was the first road trip my brother Keith and I took by ourselves, the summer after I graduated. We were pumped to say the least. We got there really early and ended up helping the bands unload their gear through the front door (only door in the club). At one point I can remember sitting in the van with MxPx guys and showing them where Chattanooga was on a map. They had just graduated from high school (like me) and had never been out of the Northwest. We put an "MxPx & Blenderhead" or bust sign in our car, sounds like something two teenagers would do. On the way back Keith got pulled over for speeding, but he wasn't really going that fast, and he did not get a ticket. I had been pulled over less than a month before, also going less than 10 over, and also did not get a ticket.
5. Sixpence None the Richer at Park South Hall in Birmingham, AL. In November, I had to borrow a car to get to the show. My friends went early, but I was unwilling to go because I was watching the second half of the Iron Bowl (War Eagle!) in my dorm room. After the game ended I scrambled to find a car and got some guy I barely knew to drive me over to Park South Hall. Afterwards there was a signing with the band at LifeWay, so I got to meet all the members of my favorite band.
Best radio single of the year:
Jill Sobule- Bitter- I love this song! Thank you Thunder 94.
I just found a random mix I made in 1995, which lists my top 11 favorite bands at the time:
1. Dakoda Motor Co., 2. Sixpence None the Richer, 3. Poor Old Lu, 4. The Prayer Chain, 5. Mortal, 6. MxPx, 7. Fleming & John, 8. Hoi Polloi, 9. Morella's Forest, 10. Plankeye, 11. Starflyer 59. Four of those bands are still in my top 10 today.
You're invited to a lesbian house party!
This summer, the dynamic and adorable Erin McKeown is broadcasting four innovative "live web concerts" from her hideaway homestead in the woods of Western Mass. And we are all invited! We missed the first one, which was performed on July 7. But you can still see it by buying a ticket at McKeown's Cabin Fever Concert website. The remaining concert dates are July 16, July 22, and July 26. Tickets cost $10 per show, which buys you a password to watch an individual concert video on the site. All proceeds go toward funding her next album, "Hundreds of Lions." The concerts will be performed in various settings around her home: living room, back porch, yard, and, curiously, the river that runs behind her house. (She says she will set up chairs in the water. It looks more like a stream, so do not fear that the lesbians will be swept away by the current. They'll only be swept away by the music. Ha!)And here's a very special treat for you: Erin McKeown performing "Ring of Fire" with Melissa Ferrick. In this magnificent romp, Melissa Ferrick plays the trumpet, which I believe is her original instrument.
UPDATE: The Sapphist Gazetteer has learned that there is only one degree of sapphic separation between Ms. McKeown and me. This information was just relayed to me by a friend during a lesbo luncheon at my home. Small queer world.
I also almost neglected to say that I spent a couple evenings circa 1991 hanging out with Ms. Ferrick. I am confident she has no memory of it.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
James Franco is not a lesbian...
...but he does hilariously take credit for increasing the number of gay physicians practicing medicine since "Milk" opened last year, and we love him for that. (We also love him for kissing Sean Penn in that film.) Franco has made a video with Harvard Lampoon, (also posted on FunnyorDie.com), which is a spoof of him practicing his commencement speech for UCLA. It was a speech he did not deliver, and the reasons why he was uninvited or withdrew are unclear. Some speculate he withdrew after a group of UCLA ninnies complained that Franco was not accomplished enough. So they got someone from the band Linkin Park instead. The Sapphist Gazetteer is thoroughly unfamiliar with Linkin Park, but my hunch is that any individual member of that band is not more accomplished than Mr. Franco, who single-handedly has increased the number of gay physicians in America!For another hilarious—if tragic—gay commencement moment, you can check out Jodie Foster's 2006 address to the University of Pennsylvania, during which she quotes Eminem. It is painful.
It's also unfortunate that Ms. Foster quoted the overrated rapper, and not just because he's reputed to be homophobic, but because her speech in its entirety was actually somewhat provocative. As a fellow Ivy Leaguer, Jodie told the graduates that she realized they were expected to do great things because they are considered to be a privileged bunch. She dismissed that as "elitist crap" and said that if they were anything like she was after finishing college, they would spend the next six months in bed watching reruns on TV. And then she quoted Eminem.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
'Dyke Food Mafia'
Recently, I was talking to some sapphists unfamiliar with Tiffani Faison, one of the handful of out queers on Top Chef. I was trying to explain who she was: You know, the exacting redhead finalist from the first season. My friends had no clue, but they were curious and asked if she was attractive. 
My reply was simply this: Anyone doing something they are very good at is sexy. So, yes, by that definition, Tiffani is hot. Plus, who doesn’t love a big girl?
The Sapphist Gazetteer recently had the opportunity to observe Tiffani in person, in her dashing chef’s jacket, at O Ya, one of the best new restaurants in the world, according to Food & Wine magazine. Frank Bruni of The New York Times also declared it the best new restaurant in the country. Indeed, O Ya is an unlikely gem set in a grimy side street in Boston's Leather District. I was sitting at the sushi bar in my Doc Martens and vintage seersucker—enjoying the most exquisite food I've ever consumed, no exaggeration—and caught glimpses of Tiffani in the back kitchen. She is the sous chef—not the soup chef (no, I apparently cannot resist the L Word joke)— at O Ya, and looks exactly like she did on Top Chef: serious, intense, linebackeresque. But, contrary to her unfair reputation of coldness on the show, she seemed quite friendly with her colleagues.
I’m happy to report that Tiffani is one of a growing number of queer celebrity chefs who are out. A post on chow.com calls them the "Dyke Food Mafia," and suggests there are many more out lesbians than gay men in the culinary world. I believe Tiffani identifies as bisexual (okay, whatever), and she certainly seems out. Last year the Miami Herald reported that she appeared at an event for the Aqua Foundation for Women, which promotes equality and visibility for South Florida lesbians. On Tiffani’s FaceBook page (not that the Sapphist Gazetteer does FaceBook—no, no) she links to The National Center for Lesbian Rights and to musician Chris Pureka, a wonderful lesbian singer/songwriter.
Some other, but by no means all, celebrity lesbian chefs who are out include:
• Elizabeth Falkner, a pastry chef from San Francisco who runs Citizen Cake, looks a little like Billy Idol, and who can be seen about every 20 minutes on the Food Network. Despite possible overexposure, we give a pass to anyone who works an Orson Welles reference
into a business enterprise. (Her restaurant is also called Orson.)
• Cat Cora, the only female Iron Chef!
• Jamie Lauren, our favorite from last season’s Top Chef, despite all the scallops. She is also based in San Francisco, where she is executive chef at Absinthe (why oh why didn't they call it "The Green Fairy"?) Jamie is a tattooed cutie originally from New York. Without having
ever actually tasted the food on Top Chef, it looked to me that Jamie was the contestant most devoted to true California cuisine, a la Alice Waters. Makes sense, since she graduated with honors from the Culinary Institute of America, which is located in Napa Valley (one of my most favorite places on earth.) In a 2007 interview with the San Francisco Chronicle, she said she hangs out at the Lexington Club, which she said is "one of the only lesbian bars in the city. I have fallen in love with the monthly bingo night. 
Not only do I get to ham it up with a bunch of lovely ladies, but I get to win at bingo."
• Susan Feniger, of L.A., voted “finest lesbian chef in the world” by Out Traveler.
Well, the readers of Out Traveler clearly have not eaten at my house, where the actual Finest Lesbian Chef in the World creates our magnificent meals, with occasional help from me, the soup chef.
My reply was simply this: Anyone doing something they are very good at is sexy. So, yes, by that definition, Tiffani is hot. Plus, who doesn’t love a big girl?The Sapphist Gazetteer recently had the opportunity to observe Tiffani in person, in her dashing chef’s jacket, at O Ya, one of the best new restaurants in the world, according to Food & Wine magazine. Frank Bruni of The New York Times also declared it the best new restaurant in the country. Indeed, O Ya is an unlikely gem set in a grimy side street in Boston's Leather District. I was sitting at the sushi bar in my Doc Martens and vintage seersucker—enjoying the most exquisite food I've ever consumed, no exaggeration—and caught glimpses of Tiffani in the back kitchen. She is the sous chef—not the soup chef (no, I apparently cannot resist the L Word joke)— at O Ya, and looks exactly like she did on Top Chef: serious, intense, linebackeresque. But, contrary to her unfair reputation of coldness on the show, she seemed quite friendly with her colleagues.
I’m happy to report that Tiffani is one of a growing number of queer celebrity chefs who are out. A post on chow.com calls them the "Dyke Food Mafia," and suggests there are many more out lesbians than gay men in the culinary world. I believe Tiffani identifies as bisexual (okay, whatever), and she certainly seems out. Last year the Miami Herald reported that she appeared at an event for the Aqua Foundation for Women, which promotes equality and visibility for South Florida lesbians. On Tiffani’s FaceBook page (not that the Sapphist Gazetteer does FaceBook—no, no) she links to The National Center for Lesbian Rights and to musician Chris Pureka, a wonderful lesbian singer/songwriter.
Some other, but by no means all, celebrity lesbian chefs who are out include:• Elizabeth Falkner, a pastry chef from San Francisco who runs Citizen Cake, looks a little like Billy Idol, and who can be seen about every 20 minutes on the Food Network. Despite possible overexposure, we give a pass to anyone who works an Orson Welles reference
into a business enterprise. (Her restaurant is also called Orson.)• Cat Cora, the only female Iron Chef!
• Jamie Lauren, our favorite from last season’s Top Chef, despite all the scallops. She is also based in San Francisco, where she is executive chef at Absinthe (why oh why didn't they call it "The Green Fairy"?) Jamie is a tattooed cutie originally from New York. Without having
ever actually tasted the food on Top Chef, it looked to me that Jamie was the contestant most devoted to true California cuisine, a la Alice Waters. Makes sense, since she graduated with honors from the Culinary Institute of America, which is located in Napa Valley (one of my most favorite places on earth.) In a 2007 interview with the San Francisco Chronicle, she said she hangs out at the Lexington Club, which she said is "one of the only lesbian bars in the city. I have fallen in love with the monthly bingo night. 
Not only do I get to ham it up with a bunch of lovely ladies, but I get to win at bingo."• Susan Feniger, of L.A., voted “finest lesbian chef in the world” by Out Traveler.
Well, the readers of Out Traveler clearly have not eaten at my house, where the actual Finest Lesbian Chef in the World creates our magnificent meals, with occasional help from me, the soup chef.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The A-Zone
For those of you that know me or read my blog, you know that I frequently mention the A-Zone. The A-Zone was a radio show I listened to in Nashville during my high school years that helped shape my music tastes. It was on Saturday nights from 10-12 p.m. and I listened to it religiously. I had no social life in high school, and I always made sure I was home for this show. My brother and I would lay in bed and listen to it until it went off the air at mdnight.
Anyway, one of the hosts, Dr. Tony Shore, has a blog and a podcast. I just discovered the podcast, and decided it's about time I started listening to it. Hard to believe it has been almost 15 years since the A-Zone. Anyway, the address of his blog is: http://obvious.typepad.com/ Tony Shore also managed the record label "Silent Planet" for awhile, which released Aaron Sprinkle's 'Bareface' album and a Beach Boys tribute, among other things. The record label no longer exists, and it is hard to find much of anything about it online.
More about the A-Zone, I began listening in either 1993 or 1994 and it lasted until 1997 or so. Not only did my brother and I listen, we also called in frequently, especially my brother, who was broadcast over the air on numerous occasions. The other host besides Tony Shore was K.C. Jones, who also deejayed on Thunder 94, a Nashville mainstream rock station. They worked well together, as Tony played the "softer" stuff, and K.C., "the harder stuff." I listened to the show during the time Tooth & Nail Records started.
Then one time my brother and I actually visited the studio. A couple weeks prior to our visit, we called into the show outside of a Fleming & John concert we were attending in January 1995 (I will write more about this in my 1995 blog post, coming next week). I think we must have bought Tony a shirt or something. Anyway, we visited, hung out in the studio for awhile, and were given a 4-song pre-release cassette for the Fleming & John album 'Delusions of Grandeur.'
In 1995, I moved away for college, and Tony Shore sent me about 30 or 40 CDs to help me out. I named my radio show the B.A.Zone, or the Birmingham A-Zone, in tribute to the original show.
To wrap up this post, here are the artists I can think of off the top of my head that I heard for the first time on the A-Zone: Fleming & John, Dakoda Motor Co., Sixpence None the Richer, Poor Old Lu, the Prayer Chain, Mortal, Starflyer 59, Blenderhead, MxPx, PlankEye, Jars of Clay, Circle of Dust, Argyle Park, Michael Knott, Adam Again, Daniel Amos, Lost Dogs, Vigilantes of Love, the Innocence Mission, Over the Rhine, Havalina, Morella's Forest, Joe Christmas, the 77s, My Little Dog China, Wish for Eden...
Thanks to the A-Zone!
Anyway, one of the hosts, Dr. Tony Shore, has a blog and a podcast. I just discovered the podcast, and decided it's about time I started listening to it. Hard to believe it has been almost 15 years since the A-Zone. Anyway, the address of his blog is: http://obvious.typepad.com/ Tony Shore also managed the record label "Silent Planet" for awhile, which released Aaron Sprinkle's 'Bareface' album and a Beach Boys tribute, among other things. The record label no longer exists, and it is hard to find much of anything about it online.
More about the A-Zone, I began listening in either 1993 or 1994 and it lasted until 1997 or so. Not only did my brother and I listen, we also called in frequently, especially my brother, who was broadcast over the air on numerous occasions. The other host besides Tony Shore was K.C. Jones, who also deejayed on Thunder 94, a Nashville mainstream rock station. They worked well together, as Tony played the "softer" stuff, and K.C., "the harder stuff." I listened to the show during the time Tooth & Nail Records started.
Then one time my brother and I actually visited the studio. A couple weeks prior to our visit, we called into the show outside of a Fleming & John concert we were attending in January 1995 (I will write more about this in my 1995 blog post, coming next week). I think we must have bought Tony a shirt or something. Anyway, we visited, hung out in the studio for awhile, and were given a 4-song pre-release cassette for the Fleming & John album 'Delusions of Grandeur.'
In 1995, I moved away for college, and Tony Shore sent me about 30 or 40 CDs to help me out. I named my radio show the B.A.Zone, or the Birmingham A-Zone, in tribute to the original show.
To wrap up this post, here are the artists I can think of off the top of my head that I heard for the first time on the A-Zone: Fleming & John, Dakoda Motor Co., Sixpence None the Richer, Poor Old Lu, the Prayer Chain, Mortal, Starflyer 59, Blenderhead, MxPx, PlankEye, Jars of Clay, Circle of Dust, Argyle Park, Michael Knott, Adam Again, Daniel Amos, Lost Dogs, Vigilantes of Love, the Innocence Mission, Over the Rhine, Havalina, Morella's Forest, Joe Christmas, the 77s, My Little Dog China, Wish for Eden...
Thanks to the A-Zone!
Steve McNair, RIP
Steve McNair found murdered. For True/Slant:
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/04/nfl-great-steve-mcnair-found-dead/
trueslant.com/jodydiperna/2009/07/04/nfl-great-steve-mcnair-found-dead/
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Choosy moms choose lesbian babysitters
In a recent survey, moms chose Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi as the celebrities they would most trust with their kids. A parenting website, ParentDish.com, sponsored the online survey in honor of Mother's Day. With more than 10,000 responses, Ellen and Portia won easily with 33 percent. Lovely Jennifer Aniston placed second with 22 percent (which was enough to beat out Angelina, heh, heh.)The "celeb best mom" title went to Jennifer Garner, who, by the way,
the Sapphist Gazetteer saw not long ago in Harvard Square (on my way to see Sarah Waters, see May 1 post). Let me just say that I spotted her because I noticed a Very Attractive Woman chasing a cute little kid down the sidewalk. I did a double take and realized the Very Attractive Woman in jeans was Jennifer Garner. We've loved her since she first appeared as Sydney Bristow on Season One of Alias.And for a Jennifer Garner/Michael Jackson connection, you can see Garner charmingly performing the Thriller dance in this clip from "13 Going on 30."
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