Head Injuries, Progress and Pessimism

I have had this terrible thought for about a month now -- we may not see Sidney Crosby even at the start of the 2011-2012 season.

That Crosby suffered setback from his January concussion(s) mid-way through the playoff series versus the Lightning cannot be a good thing. Head injuries are funny. Not funny ha ha or funny witty, but funny sad ... really, really sad. And also tricky. There's not a straight line of recovery, the way there often is with a knee injury or shoulder injury. Brains are complicated. Months had passed and yet, Sid still had a nasty bout of symptoms. And I wonder ... if three months were not enough for his head to get better, why do we think six months will make it better? Or eight months? There are no guarantees here.


Worse yet, if he is symptom free at the start of next season, there are no guarantees that the next nasty headshot won't set him back to where he was in mid-January. And, if we've learned anything from this hockey playoff season, there will be a nasty headshot. I guarantee that, son.

I've seen way too many guys taking runs, too many elbows thrown at heads, too much blatant boarding, and too much just plain flat-out head-hunting in the playoffs this spring. And I've seen those incidents largely ignored by the braintrust of the NHL, the guys entrusted with protecting the brains of guys like Brent Seabrook and Simon Gagne. With so little punishment being meted out (or no punishment at all), it's open season on hockey player heads this spring.

So, what's the thrust here? If your name is Matt Cooke and you go after somebody's head, you get a 17 game suspension, but if you're not named Matt Cooke, then you just get one game, or no punishment at all for heinous head-hunting? I strongly supported the Cooke suspension when the league handed it down because I believed it marked a sea-change in the way the NHL dealt with head-hunting.

I could not have been more wrong about the NHL's intentions.

And that sucks.

There's a simple solution -- ban all shots to the head, regardless of whether they are accidental or not. Without doing that, all of the NHL's talk is just disingenuous hot air.

High stick penalties don't require intent to be called. You're responsible for your stick and if it accidentally whacks somebody else in the face, you still get two minutes in the box. If it looks like you brought your stick up and deliberately cracked another player across the face, it's a longer penalty or even a game misconduct.

Why not apply the same thinking to head shots? If it's an inadvertent head shot, it's a two-minute minor penalty. If it's a blatant attempt to clean somebody's clock, give them a game misconduct. And if you throw an elbow at somebody's head, you're out. Period.

This isn't hard stuff. Believe me, even if the on-ice officials caught and called every single head shot, professional hockey is in no danger of turning into badminton.

Pittsburgh defenseman Brooks Orpik is one of the best in the game. He hits as hard as anybody in professional hockey. We've all seen him have shifts where he has simply taken over the game by checking everything in his area. And yet, Orpik doesn't go head-hunting. He doesn't take runs and he doesn't throw his shoulder or elbow into anybody's ear. Do you think Orpik is a wuss? [If you do, I double-dog-dare you to say that to his face.] But Orpik is no wuss and the game is not in danger of becoming some namby-pamby pursuit if head shots are policed by the league.

No, if the NHL would take reasonable steps to protect players, ice hockey will not become touch football, it won't become figure skating and it won't become Dancing with the Stars. It will remain a physical, hard-hitting game. The only thing that will change is that we might be treated to watching guys like Sidney Crosby and Simon Gagne actually play in the playoffs. Who could be against that?

As a society, I believe we have all started to change in terms of the way we think about head injuries. Not that long ago, if somebody got a concussion, we used the dismissive term, 'dinged' -- as in, "Oh, he just got dinged. He's fine." But as science learns more about head injuries, we have all started to treat them more seriously. I think that's a good thing. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out why hockey is shrinking from taking this on, why they've taken only the tiniest of baby-steps. They won't lose fans from it. In fact, I think they could only gain a larger fanbase by making a serious commitment to protecting their players.

On the same day that I heard about Crosby's setback, I also heard about the report released on former NFL star Dave Duerson's brain. Wonder if they've read that at NHL HQ in Toronto?


[Crosby photo -- torontosportsnut.com; Seabrook photo -- cbc.ca; Lundin photo -- tsn.ca]

Fake Brett Keisel Beards for Sale

The Strip District may be my absolute favorite neighborhood in Pittsburgh. I have spent countless mornings there, and every now and again, I get really lucky and I can see the years, more than a century of life pass by me -- industry, workers, commerce, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, immigrants arriving and becoming a part of the place, the population shifting, growing, diminishing, and somehow growing again. It is a beautiful thing and a magnificent place. Truly. But yet, for all of that time, all of those mornings and afternoons and nights spent there, I only recently noticed this - "Troy Plaza" in brass plate laid in the corner of the sidewalk at 20th and Penn Avenue.Given it's location at the epicenter of sales of all things black and gold -- t-shirts, Terrible Towels, hats, scarves, dog collars, onesies, Troy Polamalu wigs and Brett Keisel beards -- I believe that it should be renamed "Troy Polamalu Plaza." Any Burghers out there know why this is named Troy Plaza? I really do want to know.

There were a huge number of Polamalu jerseys being worn this morning (no kidding that guy is No. 1 in jersey sales in all the NFL; at least half the population of Western Pennsylvania has a #43 jersey), but I also saw a good number of other players, both current and old timers represented: James Harrison, Heath Miller, LaMarr Woodley, Ben Roethlisburger, Hines Ward, Jack Lambert, Franco Harris and Terry Bradshaw. I even saw a Ryan Clark jersey, so that was cool.

Even though moshing our way down Penn was a bit like salmon swimming upstream (they blocked Penn to car traffic before XL, why not XLV?), everybody was feeling festive, happily waiting in line for biscotti and coffee, cheese and salsas, bread and t-shirts. There was a line out the door for DeLuca's that had to have been 40 people deep. At least.

Then, this guy was stationed just past Mike Feinberg's, playing the flute along to that ridiculous "Here We Go Steelers" song. Flute solos. I just don't hear enough of them.[If you're not from Pittsburgh, you don't know the song I'm talking about and for that you should be grateful. If you are from Pittsburgh, you know what I'm talking about and, hey, sorry for the nasty earworm.]

I stopped in at Prestogeorge to pick up some Antigua Guatamala coffee and was greeted by this sign.Best story of the day came courtesy of a friend who was working down at the Pittsburgh Public Market. Sadly, I had just missed it, but a couple was fighting right next to his vendor spot, and not a cute, "Honey, you know I'm right ..." kind of fight. They were fighting, genuinely hopping mad, really yelling at each other. He thought they might come to blows. The subject of the fight?

Who got to wear the Brett Keisel Beard.

Only in Pittsburgh. Is it time for the kick off yet?

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics: Super Bowl Edition

I was prepping some notes for a radio bit I did this morning, and it seemed to me these were some interesting numbers to play around with. Do with them as you will:

QUARTERBACK COMPARISON - 2010 Season Stats:

QB RATING
Rogers -- 3rd in NFL at 101.2
Pig Ben -- 5th in NFL at 97.0

YARDS PER ATTEMPT
Rogers -- 2nd in NFL with 8.26 yards per attempt
Pig Ben -- 3rd in NFL with 8.23 yards per attempt

COMPLETION PERCENTAGE
Rogers -- 6th in the NFL at 65.7%
Pig Ben -- 15th in the NFL at 61.7%

YARDS PER GAME
Pig Ben -- 6th in the NFL at 267 yards per game
Rogers -- 7th in the NFL at 261 yards per game

PASSES of +20 YARDS
Rogers -- 4th in the NFL with 54
Pig Ben -- 6th in the NFL with 52

PASSES of + 40 YARDS
Rogers -- 5th in the NFL with 10
Pig Ben -- 14th in the NFL with 8

TOUCHDOWN PASSES
Rogers -- 6th in the NFL with 28
Pig Ben -- 19th in the NFL with 17

DEFENSIVE COMPARISON:

FEWEST POINTS ALLOWED PER GAME
Steelers -- 1st in NFL with 14.5
Packers -- 2nd in NFL 15.0

THIRD DOWN CONV. PERCENTAGE AGAINST
Steelers -- 2nd at 34%
Packers -- 9th at 36%

RUSH YARDS ALLOWED PER GAME
Steelers -- 1st with 62.8 yd/game
Packers -- 18th with 114.9 yd/game

RUSH PLAYS ALLOWED OF + 20 YARDS
Steelers -- 1st with 1
Packers -- 10th with 10

AVERAGE RUSH YARDS PER ATTEMPT
Steelers -- 1st with 3.0 yards per attempt
Packers -- 18th with 4.7 yards per attempt

PASS YARDS ALLOWED PER GAME
Packers -- 5th at 194.2
Steelers -- 12th at 214.2

TOTAL SACKS
Steelers -- 1st with 48 sacks
Packers -- 2nd with 47 sacks

QB RATING AGAINST
Packers -- 1st at 67.2
Steelers -- 2nd at 73.1

PASSING TOUCHDOWNS AGAINST
Steelers -- 3rd -- allowed 15
Packers -- 4th -- allowed 16

Special Teams Return to 2009 Form and Drag Rest of Team Down with Them

I am a believer in the church of the special teams. Yea verily, just as surely as many evangelicals believe in the certainty of the rapture, I believe that special teams touchdowns will come back to bit you in the ass. Hard. I believe that special teams are as important to a team's success as having a franchise quarterback, winning the turnover battle, and controlling the line of scrimmage. In some mystical karmic way, special teams points seem to carry more weight, more cache and special teams touchdowns are to regular touchdowns as dog years are to people years.

Exhibit A: San Diego Chargers. The Chargers are fighting for their playoff lives in no small part because of two early season losses: to the Chiefs by 21-14 - a game in which they gave up a punt return for a TD; and to the Seahawks by 27-20 - a game in which they gave up TWO kickoff returns for TDs. As things stand today, the Chargers are on the outside looking into the playoff picture.

Exhibit B: New York Giants. Who lost yesterday's thriller to the Eagles when they allowed DeSean Jackson to return a punt for a TD on the last play of the game. Brutal. The Giants still are hanging on to the last spot in the playoffs, but I have to wonder if they can get past the kick to the stomach that yesterday's loss was to win out in the last two weeks?

Exhibit C: Pittsburgh Steelers. The team won in Tennessee after Antonio Brown took the opening kickoff to the house. It was the only touchdown they scored all day. Then yesterday, they lost to the Jets after allowing Brad Smith to take the opening kickoff to the house. Coincidence? I don't think so.

You put your team behind the eight-ball when you allow a special teams touchdown. NFL teams are a combined 10-16 when giving up a special teams touchdown and, for some unknown reason, kick returns seem to do more damage that punt returns. In the 20 games with a kickoff returned for a touchdown in the NFL this year, the team with the KO TD has won 13 of those times, and lost just 7 times. Those are pretty much 2 to 1 odds that you'll win if you take a touchdown to the house.

Maybe it's just the letdown factor for the defense. If you're kicking off, either its the start of the game, the start of the half or you've just scored. So let's say your offense fights and claws and puts together a 80-something yard drive. It takes a lot of plays of 11 players doing their jobs, maybe a spectacular catch or two, or maybe a few tackle breaking runs. And all that work is negated on the ensuing kick. The hard work of that offensive touchdown is erased in about 3 seconds.

It's disheartening.

And it's no way to open a game. Particularly against a team like the Jets.

The Jets average just about 21 points per game and I'm not sure if the folks at Stats, Inc. adjust that for other scores - the Jets had another special teams TD and a TD on an interception return coming into this game. Regardless, the Jets are hardly the Patriots prolific offense, so you can't help a team score, particularly one that had been shut out earlier this year by the Packers and had scored just nine points in the last two weeks. Sure, they were fighting for their playoff lives, but still, this Jets team was there for the taking.

Even with the special teams miscue, and even with a defense that cannot make any big plays without Troy on the field (talk about disheartening - just one sack, just one tackle for a loss and only two QB hits), the Steelers were down by just 3 points and had the ball. (For more on the defense being just pedestrian without Troy, check out Gene Collier's great column.)

Why on earth was Mewelde Moore on the field on 1st and 10 from the Steelers 3? Moore is the best blitz protection back, so if you're gonna pass, I can see him being on the field. But at their own 3 yard line, I don't think the Steelers are going to pass there. And the Jets didn't think so either.

Every coach, every player has a chink in the armor, an achilles heel, not like Troy's injured achilles, but one in the Greek mythology sense. And I think that Bruce Arians' biggest flaw as a play caller is that he tries too hard to outsmart teams.

"It would be so stupid of me to run the ball around the corner with Mewelde Moore in this situation that nobody would expect it. Perfect! .... Oh. Crap."

It's a low percentage call in a situation where you cannot afford to lose yards, so what's the logic in handing the ball off to the smallest, weakest back on the roster and running something to the edges?

Why not hand the ball off to the guy who has 100 yards on the day and is averaging nearly 6 yards per carry? I've said it before and I'll say it again -- they drafted Rashard Mendenhall to be the man. They should give him the opportunity to be the man.

The kick off return for a touchdown, the safety -- those are the kinds of plays the Steelers have manufactured to win this season. With special teams reverting to last year's execrable form, and without the team MVP on the field, they couldn't get any of those plays, but rather watched helplessly while the Jets made a couple of big 'splash' plays in Tomlin-speak.

On the upside, the Steelers haven't lost a game to a bad team this year, unlike last season's five game skid that included losses to the bad stinky Chiefs, stinkier Raiders, and the stench that killed an entire region, a/k/a the Brady Quinn led Browns. So, they got that going for them. Yesterday's loss was not one of those terrible, embarrassing losses, but still, it's a game that was there for the taking.

Troy Polamalu Saves the Day. Again.

Why is this guy not in the discussion for most valuable player in the entire NFL? Why?

Bengals 7, Troy 23.

'Nuff said.

Get Yer Popcorn Ready -- It's Bengals Week

It's time for a little game at Balls & Whistles. Not a football game. This game is called, "Name. That. Jerk!"

There are 10 quotes below, each bon mot dropped by either Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco. See if you can match the quote to the bigmouth. [Key at bottom.]

1. "A hockey player would have took that. Kept on ticking. That just shows you how soft Ben is."

2. “Like my boy tells me; if it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.”

3. "What I think of the Pro Bowl, I've been there and done that. It's like being married for 30 years. Once you've been married for so long, (expletive deleted) you get tired of it. Right?"

4. "I feel now I can take my talent through the roof."

5. "There are two things for Brother Harris this week. The bad thing is, he has to cover me. The good is he can save 15 percent by switching his auto insurance to Geico."

6. "I'll watch the highlights every now and then but, as far as watching the game, I feel like I am the game."

7. "If you're going to do it, do it very cautiously. If you're going to ride a bike, ride it the right way. Don't speed. Do it for enjoyment. If you're going to bungee jump, have two cords in case one snaps. I don't ride anything. I just talk trash. That's it."

8. “It doesn’t become flattering, it becomes frustrating. You have to put yourself in my shoes."

9. "A lot of people think I'm stuck up. Pretty much that I'm arrogant. I only do that when I'm on the field."

10. “Like I always said, if I'm one of the top players in the game, pay me like I'm one of the top players in the game.”





Key
1. TO
2. TO
3. Ochostinko
4. TO
5. Ochostinko
6. TO
7. Ochostinko
8. Ochostinko
9. TO
10. TO

Blood Bath at Baltimore Football Facility - No Arrests Made

Despite another slew of injuries to key players, despite Bryant McFadden playing worse than a little old lady with a walker and a babushka (or worse than Chad Scott, depending on your perspective), despite Anquan Boldin's obvious greatness, despite the broken nose and the broken foot, despite Keenan Lewis being very Keenan Lewis-like, despite a MASH unit masquerading as an offensive line, despite swirling winds and a place kicker pressed into doubling as a punter, despite another poor effort by the officials, and in spite of the always puzzling, often hair-pulling play calling of Bruce Arians, the Steelers managed to get out of town with an order of crabcakes from the Cross Street Market and, more importantly, a win that puts them atop the AFC North.

Oh, and also, they were able to overcome a completely unstoppable Terrell Suggs who made it his personal mission to hit Pig Ben on every snap and disrupt every single running play. Truly, Suggs turned in an amazing performance.

Kicks in the 'nads to:
--Keenan Lewis for going out of bounds and negating a Shaun Suisham punt that had pinned the Ravens at their own four yard line.

--Bryant McFadden for, oh, so many bad plays, missed tackles and foolish penalties.

--The officials for missing an obvious, horrific helmet to helmet hit that left Heath Miller motionless on the carpet for a few terrifying minutes. And I'm not quite sure how Haloti Ngata gets away with punching Pig Ben in the face without being flagged. I know it was inadvertent, but aren't they supposed to be flagging hits to the head, even when they are inadvertent? Wasn't that the point of the new emphasis on 'player safety?' I'm not some crazy person sitting in my basement in my underwear with a foil hat on my head decoding the secret messages from aliens in between putting the finishing touches on my treatise about the Kennedy assassination and how Dick Cheney was responsible ... but C'mon Man! If anybody did that to Tom Terrific, it would be a national freaking calamity and Roger 'Judge Dread' Goodell would ask President Obama to send in FEMA. If James Harrison did that to anybody, one of the officials would have left the M & T Bank Field and personally driven Harrison to Ray Anderson's house, where Anderson would fine him, suspend him, and possibly have him deported. Just sayin'.

--Bruce Arians for his continued inability to adjust, to create mis-matches or take advantage of them. After Miller (his best run blocking TE) and Hotel Flozell (his best run blocking lineman) went out with injuries, he ran the ball repeatedly. Oh, run the ball again, BA! And for his inability or refusal to adjust to Terrell Suggs' ferocity and intensity. Suggs was eating Hotel for breakfast before Hotel was hurt, and then Suggs noshed on Jonathan Scott. Inexplicably, the Steelers left Scott out there on an island, helpless to block Suggs. It's not Scott's fault that he is simply not good enough to handle Suggs on the edge one on one. How does the offensive coordinator not see that? How does he not have a tight end or running back helping Scott out?

Mugs of spiked hot chocolate to:
--Shaun Suisham for hitting both of his field goals last night in swirling winds, one of which was 45 yards. And also taking over for the injured Dan Sepulveda to handle the punts.

--David Johnson for three nice receptions and holding down the fort after Miller was knocked out.

--James Farrior for always just being a steady, heads up presence for that defense. He's old, he's skinny, but he's still a bad ass.

--LaMarr Woodley for constantly pressuring Flacco and being Johnny on the spot to scoop up the game turning fumble.

--Troy Polamalu, for being all world, all everything, creating the fumble that gave the Steelers new life. I'm surprised he didn't break Flacco's arm, he hit it so hard. How many times have we seen Troy make game saving, game altering plays? It's not an accident and it's not luck. That is greatness.

--Pig Ben, for playing on a broken foot and bouncing back from a broken nose to make enough plays to will his team to a win, none bigger than escaping Terrell Suggs to get the ball out out bounds and then making a nice hot read to get the ball in Isaac Redman's hands.

--Isaac Redman for making the right hot-read and then breaking the tackles of Dawan Landry, Ray Lewis and Jarret Johnson to get into the endzone for the winning touchdown.

But this wasn't a football game, not a normal football game. It was more like an Iron League hockey game. Hockey players take great pride in being the toughest athletes around, but I think that the Ravens and Steelers would earn their grudging respect. Pig Ben played with a broken nose and a broken foot and it looked like Terrell Suggs had a bloody mouth through the whole game, but who knows, he could go all Ozzy Osbourne on the sidelines or something.

Shut out everything else, a league in flux, officials who are so turned around they can't do their jobs; shut out the national television crews and Al Michaels; shut out the coaches making adjustments or failing to; shut out the wind and the hype and the hyperbole. This was a bar fight. Last man standing wins.

In this instance, the last man standing was, of all people, Isaac Redman.

Can the Steelers Beat the Birdies in Baltimore?

I kinda think no.

It pains me to say that, but the injuries continue to mount for the Steelers and no matter how many times Coach Tomlin says 'the standard is the standard,' there is bound to be some drop off. You need all hands on deck, in fact you need your very best hands on deck if you want to beat a very good Ravens team in Baltimore.

First, the Steelers lost tackle Willie Colon. They brought in Hotel Flozell Adams and moved on. The standard, after all, is still the standard.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, down went Max Starks for the year, so Jonathan Scott is starting in his spot. But the standard is still the standard. Mmmm, okay. If you say so.

This offensive line would be suspect even with Starks and Colon, two guys who don't put anybody in mind of Anthony Munoz or Jackie Slater. Now they're starting Scott, who wasn't good enough to beat out the competition for the spot left open by Colon's injury, and Hotel, for whom there wasn't exactly a long line of suitors. So, an already mediocre line was made worse through injury. What was that about standards again?

That sub-standard line is expected to protect Pig Ben of the broken-not broken-sprained-um-scar-tissue-aggravated foot. The only reason that the Steelers have been able to get away with having a less than stellar O Line through much of this decade is because Pig Ben can create opportunities by moving around when the pocket collapses, as it inevitably does. But can he bail out his line, and his team, on one leg tonight? And with Haloti Ngata bearing down on him?

Ray Lewis isn't the dominant player that he was 10 years ago, but Ngata is a serious threat to both disrupt the running game and possibly actually kill Pig Ben. (Something that would make some of my friends happy, I think.) For my money, Ngata is the best player on that defense right now, with apologies to the great Ed Reed.

Now, I don't want to tell you where this thought has led me. Oh, okay. While Reed is still fantastic, always a threat to break a game open, the Baltimore corners are not so great and the Steelers best chance to beat the Ravens may be through the air, via long passes that take advantage of Mike Wallace or Emmanuel Sanders against Chris Carr or Josh Wilson. The problem is, can the Steelers O Line protect a gimpy Pig Ben long enough for Wallace or Sanders to come open deep?

The Ravens do not sack the quarterback prodigiously; they have only 19 sacks on the year (compared to the Steelers with 32), but then again, the Ravens have only gone up against the Steelers offensive line once this year. Given all the givens, I think we can safely expect to see Bruce Arians call pass play after pass play after pass play. He may be right to take that kind of a chance, try to get up early and fast because the Ravens play a kind of vanilla version of themselves when they are down or tied, but get much creative and aggressive when they have a lead.

Even though I understand the reasoning, the idea of a pass-wacky Bruce Arians makes me kinda queasy.

On the other side of the ball, the injuries are an issue, too. We all know how different that Steelers defense is without Aaron Smith, but it's no use crying over torn triceps muscles. The fact of the matter remains that the combination of Ziggy Hood and Nick Eason are no replacement for Smith and Brett Keisel, but it looks like Keisel will be back tonight and that should give the defensive line a big lift. It also frees up Hood and Eason to just rotate in Smith's old spot.

Maybe it even means that the Steelers can get to Joe "Unibrow Spokesmodel" Flacco. Flacco doesn't throw a lot of picks - he has eight in 11 games - and his new toys, Anquan Boldin and T.J. Whoseyourmamma, have developed a good working relationship with him, so Ike Taylor, B-Mac and William Gay have to put the clamps on Boldin and Whoseyourmamma, to say nothing of Derrick Mason who always seems to save his best for the Steelers. And they have to contain Todd Heap, too.The best chance the Steelers have to contain all of the aerial weapons the Ravens have (still feels weird to type that in relation to this team) is to pile more sacks on top of their already impressive sack total. LaMarr Woodley and James Harrison have to find a way to get free from holds (and they will be held) to make Flacco throw the ball away, hurry his throws, and generally get his uniform dirty.

Harrison, already feeling unfairly besieged by the league, has to find a way to keep his head in the game, without leading with his head; he has to remain calm no matter how bad the holds (and they will happen) or penalties. If an official wants to call a bullshit penalty like the one for landing on Jason Campbell, there's nothing he can do about that. But he can drive through with his shoulder and not the crown of his helmet. Then he just has to hold his breathe and hope for the best. Do it like this James, like this:That's a tall order for a man whose entire game is predicated on hitting harder than anybody else in the league and who feeds off seemingly congenital, unwavering enmity. But he has to do it.

That's a tall order for the team as a whole. I am not hopeful. But I'm usually wrong! any time I try to predict the outcome of a Steelers game. At least that's one thing that bodes well for Pittsburgh.

Sunday Recipe: Fried Rice

For most of my life, Chinese food was a great mystery. How did they get those flavors? Those textures? Those colors?

It it seemed like I was glimpsing into the secret life of alchemists with every little box overflowing with spicy shrimp, crispy chicken, gooey, flavorful sauces, bok choy, baby carrots (how do they grow them so small?) and funky fungi. I was certain some kind of secret handshake was needed to enter the world of the Asian kitchen filled with voodoo and mystery.

Then I started just punking around in the Asian markets in the Strip District from time to time. (The last time I was in my favorite Asian market at 23rd & Penn Ave., they were unloading a big box of knee cartilage. I can only assume it was cow knee cartilage; I have no desire to eat a dish in which the featured ingredient is cartilage of any kind, you have to respect the Chinese for using every single bit of the animal. We could take a lesson from them.)

Anyway, after a while it occurred to me that these mysterious dishes were invented hundreds of years ago by little old Chinese ladies, cooking over open flame with whatever they had at hand. And like their Italian and Mexican counterparts, they cooked with heart and art, skill and passion, but there is nothing cryptic or supernatural about it.

There's no mystery to it the art of soulful asian cooking. But there is lots of mise-en-place. (Sorry, I don't know the Chinese term for 'prep work,' only the French.) In short, it's time consuming, but it's also pretty fun. With the Steelers playing (another) night game, I have more prep time than I would for an early afternoon kickoff, so this Sunday seems to be the perfect night to make a giant batch of fried rice.

You will need:
jasmine rice
napa cabbage, one head, core removed and finely sliced
fresh ginger, grated
1 shallot, finely diced
1 clove garlic, finely diced
extra firm tofu, drained and cubed
one boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into bite sized pieces
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
2 carrots, finely diced
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
1 head broccoli, finely diced
2 or 3 scallions, sliced into rings
2 or 3 eggs, beaten
hot chili sesame oil
peanut oil
soy sauce (you want one that's a good quality)
sriracha

The prep, choppy-choppy:
A word about the rice. I don't know what the big American companies like Uncle Ben's and River Rice have done to their rice or how one would even go about altering the organic building blocks of something as elemental as rice, but those rices all taste like ass. To be specific, they taste like dry, gritty ass and the last time I got Uncle Ben's (slow cook, not the instant stuff), I felt like H.I. McDonough's cellmate in 'Raising Arizona.' And when there were no fowl, we ate crawdad; and when there were no crawdad, we ate sand.

The point being that you have to get rice from the Asian market or in the Asian isle of your supermarket. I'm partial to jasmine rice, which has great bite and texture, and isn't quite so sticky as sushi rice. Cook the rice according to the instructions or as you normally would and set aside.

Once you heat up your wok (a large non-stick skillet will work just fine if you don't have a wok), you want to work fast, so its important that you get all the prep work done before you start cooking. Whip the eggs together in a bowl and set aside. Finely dice the garlic and shallots; cut the rest of the veg into small, bite sized pieces; cube the chicken and the tofu**.

Put some peanut oil in your wok and get it screaming hot. Add the grated ginger, garlic and shallots, after those start to caramelize, add the add the napa cabbage. Toss it until it starts to wilt and caramelize, which will happen in a flash. Remove the cabbage to a large casserole or deep skillet.

Wipe out the wok with a paper towel, add a fresh drop of peanut oil, a few drops of hot chili sesame oil and the chicken. Cook until the chicken is cooked through. This will take longer than any of the other elements, but you know, the last thing you want to bite into is undercooked chicken. (You could also use shrimp or some lean cut of pork, rather than, or in addition to chicken. I like chicken, though, so this suits me just fine.) When the chicken is nearly done, add a sprinkling of shallots, cook for another minute and then remove the cooked chicken to the pot of cabbage.

Wipe out the wok and add a drop of peanut oil and the tofu. Cook the tofu until crispy. Add the tofu to the growing pot of cabbage.

Wipe out the wok, add peanut oil and a few drops of the hot chili oil, and toss in the carrots, broccoli and mushrooms. (You can use any vegetables you like. One of my favorite restaurants uses zucchini, but this is a good basic start for fried rice.) It will only take a moment to cook the veg and then add them to the pot of cabbage, tofu, etc.

Wipe out the wok, add a fresh drop of peanut oil, then toss in the eggs, the peas, and the rice. You'll hear it start to crackle and you'll need some elbow grease to stir it all up and cook it all evenly. As you're doing that, add several shots of the soy sauce. Keep tossing, then add the other elements (cabbage, tofu, veg, etc.)

You now have fried rice. I like to eat mine with a dollop of sriracha.

**If you have time, I like to do the tofu this way. Drain and cube it. Put it in a paper towel lined colander and put a dish or bowl on top to press the rest of the moisture out of it. For about 30 minutes. Then, put the tofu in a ziploc bag and add a generous dose of hot chili sesame oil. Refrigerate that for several hours before tackling the rice. It really gives the tofu an amazing flavor. It's not essential if you're pressed for time, though.

Waiting for Goodell [A play in one act]

I'm not a playwrigt, but I play one on the internet. Here is my dramatic re-enactment of the NFL denying the appeals of James Harrison:

"Excuse me sir, would it please the, er, court, I'd like to appeal these fines."

"Yes. Yes. Appeal. Well, get on with it."

"Well, hey, wait a minute. Aren't you the guy who levied these fines to begin with?"

(Silence. And glowering. Lots of glowering.)

"Ahem, okay, so you see, when I hit Drew Brees, I was flying towards him. I was fighting off a block and I was going at full throttle. It was a bang-bang play. And, you know, I get paid to go after the quarterback more or less."

(More silence and glowering.)

"I didn't hit him high and I didn't hit him low. And yeah, I guess my helmet hit him, but, you know I was leading with my shoulder and my head is right next to my shoulder and all ... So, well, I guess that's the basis of my appeal for that hit."

"Yes. I see. Denied. Next!"

"Just like that?"

"Do you dare to question the Great and Mighty Goodell!" (puffs of green smoke and sound effects follow.) "Well!?"

"No. I, ah, well, I guess not. So on this hit on Mohamed Massaquoi, you see, I know it looks bad. I really do. And he had to leave and game and stuff. I know that you're trying to protect players and I can no longer hit like that now, you know just explode into a receiver. I get that. You guys changed the rules and stuff, so I've really been trying not to do that. But, you see, the rules weren't really in effect when this fine was meted out, so I was hoping that through like a grandfather clause or something ..."

"Denied! The rules didn't change! I've told you and Suzy Kolber that a thousand million times! The rules didn't change! The rules didn't change!"

(More glowering.)

"Of course not. But, how about a reduction. After all, you've fined guys much less money for much more egregious post-whistle incidents and I was just playing hard, snap to whis ..."

"Are you accusing me of bias? Do you not think I am impartially looking out for the health of the league?"

(Harrison just looks down and shuffles feet.)

"Mr. Harrison, I am simply looking out for the welfare of the players. I am the Commissioner who cares about player safety. Don't you get that?"

"I do. Really. I do. I appreciate it. But you know, it's going to be way more dangerous to play 18 games than 16 ..."

"Get out of here! And never darken my door again!"

(Harrison exits. Goodell turns to a toady lurking in the background)

"Can we fine him for something this week?"

The end.

Or, while I stupidly spent time crafting a nuanced one act play, DJ Gallo summed it up with this picture.

Suisham Kicks Steelers to OT Win Over Bills

Anybody out there still questioning the Steelers decision to fire Jeff Reed?

Yeah. Didn't think so.

Do NFL Teams Really Need to Stretch the Field?

Every year, the Great Gene Collier hands out his Trite Trophy for the most ubiquitous or annoying (or both) cliche in sports. Past winners have included well-known trite-isms that were so pervasive we just adopted them into the common parlance without even noticing: Smashmouth Football, Gut Check, Crunch Time, West Coast Offense, and Red Zone, a term so insidiously pervasive that we even have a cable channel named after it.

These represent trite cliches, but they often hint at something deeper, start to peel back the protective layer of sports talking head-isms to reveal the fickle zeitgeist of the NFL, unexamined truisms thoughtlessly bandied about as though they were proven principals of physics.

This year, the talking heads all assert this inalienable truth: you must have a deep passing threat to stretch the defense. They say it as though it's a conclusion, like gravity holds you to the earth or something.

If you don't have this essential "deep threat" on your NFL team, you are doomed. Yea verily, frogs and lizards will rain down upon your city, children will find internet porn and atavistic miscreants will roam the streets kicking puppies and knocking over old ladies.

I don't buy it. I don't buy it because it contains some truth, but not all truth. It is unexamined nattering and, as such, needs to be aired out to see if it flies.

About half of the 10 receivers with catches of more than 20 yard are on legitimate playoff contenders. The other half ... well, not so much. Brandon Lloyd of Denver has 18 catches of 20+ yards, but the Broncos are a woeful 3-6, good for last in a very weak AFC West. The Pokes' Miles Austin has 11 catches of 20+ yards and we all know about all the big drama in Big D. TO has 12 such catches, but the Bungles aren't going anywhere except near the top of the draft class. Again. Andre Johnson also has 11 long catches, but the Houston Texans are doing their usual trick -- promising this will be the breakthrough year, but ending up with a record of 8-8. Again. Like they always do.

The fact is, about half the receivers who lead in this category play for non-contenders and the other half play for legit contenders. So: Deep threat? Kind of important.

There are so many other things more valuable than the much drooled over deep threat: an accurate quarterback, a defensive line that can pressure the quarterback, an offensive line that can control games, a shut-down corner, a coaching staff that knows how to manage the clock and on and on. Sure, it's nice to have a speed guy like DeSean Jackson or Mike Wallace. If nothing else, they are just fun to watch, running gazelle-like, the length of the field, a veritable blur on the screen.

But I'm not sure it contributes as much to winning as these other, harder to pin down elements of the game.

Here's a stat that reveals something about the defensive line -- fewest total yard surrendered. The Giants, Jets, Saints, Raiders, Steelers, Ravens, Bears and Eagles are all in the top 10 in that category. The only teams in the top 10 without winning records are the Vikes and the Chargers. Eight teams (nine if you include San Diego) fighting for division crowns rank in the top 10 in fewest yards surrendered.

Sticking with the defense, these teams are all in the top ten in fewest points allowed per game: Bears, Packers, Jets, Saints, Steelers, Ravens, Falcons, Titans. Again, only two teams made the top ten in this stat who are pretty well out of contention for the division crown, the Browns and the Rams (although, both of those teams are much, much improved.)

But it's not just defense, it's other things. As important as the offensive line is, sadly, there are no stats kept for pancake blocks or providing a comfortable passing pocket. But if the offensive line protects the quarterback, it's reasonable to assume he'll be able to do things on the field like convert third downs. The top 10 teams that convert on third down most successfully? You're looking at a list of teams planning on making some playoff money: Falcons, Saints, Eagles, Bucs, Pats, Colts, Ravens. (The interlopers on this list? Chargers, although, again, they're certainly not dead, the Dolphins and the Texans.)

Staying with the offensive line, the top 10 teams who have allowed the fewest sacks include: Giants, Colts, Pats, Jets, Saints, Falcons, Ravens. Allowing very few sacks indicates a good offensive line, but it also can indicate a quarterback who gets rid of the ball quickly, thus avoiding sacks. If the QB is waiting for the deep route to open up, he's probably hanging in the pocket a bit longer than a guy who is dumping the ball off for a 8 yard gain and a first down, thus risking a sack.

Maybe a look at recent Super Bowl winners will reveal something.

If a deep threat were so essential, the Patriots wouldn't have won three Super Bowls. The 2001, 2003 and 2004 versions of the New England Patriots were able to just crush teams under the drip, drip, drip of their short passing game. Not the deep threat, mind you, but the slow burn short game.

The defensive line of the 2007 Giants were a major factor in winning their Super Bowl. Basically, they won by beating up Tom Brady.

The 2006 Colts won because they had the best offensive line in football (and, rightfully, the MVP for that game should have been awarded to the entire line - or Jeff Saturday - rather than King Peyton.)

The 2002 Buccaneers (and their opponents, the Rich Gannon led Raiders) were short passing masters.

If it were absolutely crucial to have a terrifying deep threat, Randy Moss would have six rings. And yet, he has zero.

I'm not saying that having a deep threat is going to prevent you from winning. Certainly not. But the importance of the deep threat is being mightily overstated these days by the nattering nabobs of NFL booths.

See Ya Skippy And Thanks for All the Classy Memories

The Steelers signed Shaun Suisham and cut kicker Jeff Reed today (expect him to turn up on Cincinnati's roster any second), but I thought I'd post an homage to our recently departed Skippy in pictures. Enjoy.





Why, here he is demonstrating just how he 'holds it' when he has to pee during a game, but can't sneak around to the outside of a nearby bar to relieve himself.



And here he is doing some community service by posing for a retirement home's watercolor class. Always giving back to the people, our Skippy.



"Don't make this symbol, dude. Somebody will put a cap in your ass!"



"It's complicated. First, you mix up the bleach and then you take the foil ..."



"If this kicking gig doesn't work, I'm thinking of becoming a hairdresser."

Accompanying text message: "I'd like to do the bathroom in a bolder color, so please think it over and text me with your ideas. Yours, Jeff."

To Boot Skippy Or Not to Boot Him?

Jeff Reed is endearing himself to everybody these days. After he turned in another terrible game against the Patriots, he called out the fans. Per the Post-Gazette:

'Reed's short miss came late in the third quarter with the Steelers behind 17-3. When he next kicked, an extra point following a touchdown early in the fourth quarter, fans in Heinz Field let out a loud, seemingly mock cheer.

Did he notice that reaction from the fans?

"I don't really know what you're talking about, but it doesn't surprise me. If you're not perfect in this city, man, then you're going to hear about it. It's been like that for nine years, and why would they stop now?

"Like I said there's 95 percent of those fans that got my back totally and then 5 percent you always hear. They're right by the kicking net, they were bashing me, but that's life, man, you got to move on. The worst thing for me to do would be to fight back at them.

"They started before the game even started. You know, like I said, they buy tickets just to bash me and Dan [Sepulveda] and Greg [Warren]. It's more me because points come off my foot."'

Really, Jeff? You think the fans were booing the holder and the snapper? He is living in a world of delusion if he thinks: (a) only 5% of the fans are sick of his shit and (2) that anybody in their right mind was booing Sepulveda (or Warren, for that matter.)

Now, he's endearing himself to the grounds crew at Heinz Field, to say nothing of the Steelers front office. Per ESPN:

'After the loss, Reed called into question the quality of the turf at Heinz Field.

"I'm not one to make excuses," Reed was quoted as saying in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. "I'll take the credit for the miss. It was a great snap, a great hold, great protection. It's kind of hard when you plant your foot and the hole -- a piece of ground moves where the ball's under the holder. I almost missed the ball completely.

"I'm not going to make excuses. If you've played any kind of sports in your life, you realize that what we play on is not very good turf. It happens."'

When our little thunder thighs first came to Pittsburgh, one of his greatest strengths was that he was oblivious to just about everything around him - crowd noise, pressure, rain, field conditions, wind, opponent -- didn't matter. He just went out and kicked.

He won big, big games for the Steelers. Like this one in 2007 versus the Dolphins (at right). I don't know that I've ever seen worse conditions, particularly not worse for a kicker. And yet in a tremendously important game, he hit one of the most unlikely field goals in team history.

He could kick at Heinz Field! Nobody can kick there. He was unfazed by pressure, unbothered by opposing coaches trying to ice him, didn't care about the time on the clock or the game on the line. He went from baling hay to kicking for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Dude was a veritable folk hero around here.

Shortly after Super Bowl XL, I was at the Pitt-WVU basketball game at the Pete and a bunch of Steelers were there. Swear to God, Reed's hair was standing straight up(a good two inches) and he was wearing a thick headband. Also, he had on dark knee socks, into which his jeans were tucked. I think he was wearing shower sandals on his feet. Only our Skippy, right?**

Despite his obvious shortcomings - his hair, the photos of his junk, his clothing** -- we loved him for it. We did. The fans loved them some Skippy.

But it's all gone to hell now. Sadly. There was a time when I thought Jeff Reed was one of the three best kickers in the league (along with David Akers and Adam Vinatieri.) And, like any really great kicker, his greatest strength was his nerves. Nothing seemed to get to him.

He was money. Then, somehow, we didn't notice the shift, because it was subtle, but he was mostly money with a few misses. Still, nobody complained. You can't expect him to hit everything, particularly not at Heinz Field and the little hayseed with bad hair still enjoyed beloved kicker status. Then he turned into an erratic kicker, but one still capable of hitting some big kicks at least some of the time.

Now, he's just a kicker who is reliably unreliable. When the Steelers need a big kick, he shanks it like a golfer with the yips.

Reed is like a rotten potato in the vegetable crisper drawer. He makes the whole refrigerator stink.

This is the guy who wants to be the league's highest paid kicker? Get out of my face.

ESPN's Adam Schefter reports that the Steelers are auditioning kickers today at Heinz Field. I know it's a risk to switch kickers mid-season. I know it could blow up in the Steelers faces.

But it could also turn out as well as it did when Coach Cowher brought in an unknown named Jeff Reed. It's time, people. It's time.

The Disingenuous Debate Over Player Safety

The Pittsburgh Steelers, like every NFL team, have suffered a huge number of injuries already, just through eight games on the season. Some of these players returned to the field, but others are lost for the season, and all of the players listed below have missed playing time and shown up on the injury report for one reason or another:

Byron Leftwich, Chris Kemeoatu, Arnez Battle, Bryant McFadden, Dennis Dixon (gone for the year), Heath Miller, Flozell Adams, Maurkice Pouncey, Max Starks (gone for the year), Trai Essex, Aaron Smith (likely gone for the year), Chris Hoke, Brett Keisel, LaMarr Woodley, Mewelde Moore, Issac Redman and Will Allen (these last last three suffered concussions, just fyi.)

Meanwhile, Judge Dread talks convincingly of player safety. The League cares. He cares. Deeply, you see. So deeply that the fines just keep on coming for unsafe player hits because, you know, at the NFL's HQ on Madison Avenue they care about nothing more than player safety.

The fines are so numerous that it's hard to list them all. The highlights, the most talked about fines were the ones to Pittsburgh's James Harrison, New England's Brandon Meriweather, Atlanta's Dunta Robinson and Green Bay's Nick Collins.

But on any given week, you can check in with ESPN's Adam Schefter for a rundown of the fines because there are tons that do not get much airplay. This is from Schefter's column from just one single week in the NFL:

"Defensive lineman Myron Pryor has been fined $7,500 for a fourth-quarter hit that opened a cut on Favre's chin. ...

Patriots linebacker Gary Guyton was also fined $7,500 for his first-quarter hit on Favre in last Sunday's 28-18 win. ...

Pittsburgh linebacker James Harrison was fined $20,000 for a late hit on Saints quarterback Drew Brees ...

Tennessee defensive end Jason Babin was fined $20,000 for roughing San Diego QB Philip Rivers when he unnecessarily struck Rivers in the knee area ...

Two San Francisco 49ers linebackers were fined for hits on Denver quarterback Kyle Orton in the 49ers' win last Sunday at London. ...

Manny Lawson was docked $12,500 for roughing the passer, using his helmet to hit Orton in the chest. ...

Ahmad Brooks loses $10,000 for striking Orton in the head and neck area. ...

Seahawks defensive end Chris Clemons was fined $7,500 for a late hit on Raiders quarterback Jason Campbell. ...

Two Raiders also were fined, including guard Robert Gallery for a late hit on Clemons that cost him $7,500. Rookie linebacker Rolando McClain was hit for a $7,500 fine for grabbing Seahawks running back Justin Forsett by the helmet in an attempt to tackle him."

I'm sure the NFL charities do good work, and I know that, at least for some of these players, a $25,000 fine is the equivalent of a $25 parking ticket for you or me. So I'm not crying poor on behalf of the players, but ...

It seems to me that the players fines and all the talk of possibly suspending players for the most egregious, dangerous hits, has much in common with the the green curtain, spooky lights, amplified voice, smoke and steam in the Wizard of Oz: simply, effects meant to distract Dorothy and her comrades so they wouldn't notice the little man behind the curtain. Don't look there. Look here!

Judge Dread has beautifully positioned himself as Clara Barton and the players as the bad guys. See, he cares about player safety, while the players themselves do not. James Harrison, Roy Williams, even saintly Troy Polamalu have aired grievances about the way fines are meted out and handled. It makes them seem as though they don't care about their own safety or that of other players.

[And, as concerns closed head injuries, there is some truth to this. Football players at all levels still minimize the after-shocks of concussions. I very recently talked to a high school football player who was severely concussed in a game. It was a scary concussion -- the kid was out cold for a good while. The team trainer declared him ineligible to play the last five games of the season, knowing that if she left it up to the player himself, he would have gone back out there the very next week. It's no different at higher levels of NCAA football or the NFL. This is just how players think.]

But yet, does the league care about player safety? Or is all the talk of fines meant to distract us from the obvious disregard for the safety of the workforce not named Manning or Brady?

I am the Great and Mighty Oz and I am fining Nick Collins! [Pay no attention to the fait accompli (and obvious danger to the NFL's workforce) of the 18 game season that the owners want so much.]

The Great and Mighty Oz has declared James Harrison the greatest danger to player safety since the flying wedge was outlawed! [Pay no attention to Thursday night games that requires players to play games after just three days rest.]

Nothing makes the players more unsafe than a lack of preparation and recuperation time. Nothing could add more danger than adding two additional and completely unnecessary regular season games. These moves are more dangerous than the Nick Collins, Dunta Robinson, James Harrison and Brandon Meriweather hits combined. If not more dangerous, then at least as dangerous.

I think it was a Tennesse Williams character who cried, "Mendacity!" Or maybe it was Ray Lewis. (It's so rare that I find myself in complete and total agreement with the elder Ravens linebacker, and yet, on this one, Ray Ray and I are simpatico.)

So long as the NFL continues the disgusting money grab of Thursday night football (prime time football means mad bling for the owners) and the even more disgusting money grab of adding two more games to the regular season schedule, they cannot in good conscience claim to care about player safety.

They only care about the appearance of caring about player safety. Actual player safety? Not so much.

Taking a Hard Look at the Loss of Aaron Smith

If you were making an instructional video of tackling form, you would be wise to chose as your subject Aaron Smith. He does it so effortlessly that one barely notices, yet he is picture perfect every single time: line him up, wrap him up, take him down. His technique is one of the reasons that he is the best run stopping defensive lineman in the league -- not the best run-stopper on the Steelers, mind you, but the best run-stopper in the NFL. No question.

And if you likewise want to know why defensive players so frequently launch themselves, missile-like, to try to tackle by hitting with their shoulder-pads rather than using their arms and wrapping up? Just stroll through Aaron Smith's injuries in the last five years:

Exhibit A: Torn rotator cuff.
Exhibit B: Torn biceps mucles.
Exhibit C: Torn triceps muscle.

Steelers fans know how valuable Smith is. It takes a lot of elements to make a great team. You need contributions from all over the place, from the gunner on kickoff returns to the starting defensive end, and the feature running back. But if I can be so simple minded as to point out won-loss records, other than Troy, there may not be a more valuable guy on the team. You can make an argument for Pig Ben, too.

(A quick look at won-loss records reveals that, in his career, Troy has missed just 11 games; the Steelers are 5-6 or a winning percentage of .454.
Pig Ben has missed 10 games [the 4 suspension games and then 6 with injuries] in which the Steelers won 6 and lost 4, for a winning percentage of .600.
And Smith has missed 15 games in his dozen years here and the Steelers record without him on the field is 7-8, or a winning percentage of .466. So there's that.)

The Steelers go as their defense goes and Dick LeBeau's unit's primary task, every game, every year, is to stop the run. Smith is the biggest reason that opposing teams simply cannot run against the Steelers. He disrupts his entire side of the line and forces running backs to either pop way outside, where the outside contain gets them, or cut back inside, where the inside contain gets them. Or run towards him, where he gets them. It's a no win to try to run anywhere near Smith.

But, you say, the NFL is a passing league now! Stopping the run is as old fashioned as the Wing T or the flying wedge. Let's take a look at what the Steelers are up against to (1) get to the playoffs, and (2) who they might face if they get there.

They have to play the Browns and the Ravens (on the road), the Bungles twice, the Saints, the Jets, the Raiders, the Patriots and the Bills. [They also have to play Carolina, but you know, amazingly, I'm just not worried about that game. Dead Coach Walking.]

Of the remaining teams on their schedule, the Ravens, Raiders, Jets and Browns have rushing attacks in the top half of the league statistically and in fact, the Raiders and Jets have the first and fifth most rushing yards, respectively. I'm not sure there is a tougher back to bring down than Baltimore's Ray Rice; I think that New Years game against Browns and Peyton Hillis will be a bitch; and despite their lower ranking, the Bengals Cedric Benson runs like a mack truck.

The point is, they have to face some really good running teams. Really good.

Then, there's the possibility of the playoffs where they might have to face: the Jets, the Patriots, the Ravens, the Titans, the Colts, the Raiders or the Chiefs. (Hey, somebody has to win the AFC West and it ain't gonna be the Norv Turners.) Those teams all have great running attacks, less Indy and New England. But then, of course, you have to deal with Manning the Greater or Justin Beiber. Pick your poison.

I don't think the loss of Aaron Smith can be overestimated and now I will echo the sentiments of so many others out there.

Starting this week, Ziggy Hood can prove he was worth that first round pick. Coach Tomlin and Kevin Colbert didn't draft Hood so that he could just 'spell' Smith from time to time; they drafted him to eventually replace the best run stopper in the league. The Steelers chances of making the playoffs and making noise in the playoffs now rest squarely on the shoulders of one Evander 'Ziggy' Hood. Go get 'em, Tiger.

The Three Greatest Linebackers in Steelers History: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

With all the talk of James Harrison's fine, James Harrison's physicality, James Harrison's retirement, why the boys and I got to considering the greatest linebackers of all time, right here at Linebacker Central, a/k/a, Pittsburgh, Pa. Without further delay, the three greatest linebackers in Steelers history, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

The Good: Jack Ham. Always in position. ALWAYS. IN. POSITION. It's almost freakish. He had perfect tackling form and took a good angle on the ball carrier every time. He was not flashy, nor was he intimidating off the field, but he really was a nearly perfect linebacker. There has never been another like Dobre Shunka (the Great Ham.)

The Bad: James Harrison. Coulda been Super Bowl XLIII MVP. The man blows up tackles who outweigh him by 50 to 70 pounds, who has more fines than any other Steeler and, I would point out, who is held on nearly every single play because he's just such a freak. There are very few players in the NFL who have hit with as much force as Silverback. He scares me.

The Ugly: Jack Lambert. The sneer. The complete and total contempt for opponents. It was palpable even through the cathode ray tube. He was the man who once punched a Cleveland Browns player on the sidelines (he had it coming, believe you me) and tossed Cliff Harris to the turf after Harris taunted Roy Gerela in SB X. The Steelers draft report on him described him as having, "a lust for contact."


It's certainly open for discussion, the greatest three. But who would fill out the top five? Where does Gregg Lloyd fit into this?

NFL Addresses Head Injuries

I spent the morning debating the nature of helmet to helmet hits with my merry band of ne'er do wells. It's a tough thing. I love the hard hitting element of the game. I love the speed. I love big collisions. But ...

Any time I see a player face down on the field, lifeless, it makes me sick deep in the pit of my stomach. Something has to be done, because somebody's going to end up dead.

So, I posted about it at my other blog, Rub Some Dirt In It.

Thoughts on the Return of Pig Ben

Pig Ben returns to the field Sunday after serving his four game suspension for conduct unbecoming a grown up person. The questions swirl around.

What kind of reception will the fans give him?

What does this mean for team chemistry? What kind of reception did his teammates give him?

Will he be sharp? Or play more like Carson Palmer has of late?

I think Pig Ben is going to play lights out, perhaps better than he's ever played heretofore (and it's been a pretty spectacular career already), because athletes, the ones who perform at this level, are mostly driven and myopic and have a unique sense of the world and their place in it.

It makes me wonder about the weirdness of professional sports and the rules of conduct in the inner-inner-sanctum thereof.

The smallest slight is coaxed, nurtured into a dis of monumental proportions. Then, once it has been built up into an epic insult, it is fed off of as motivation. The New England Patriots trotted out the tired old "no respect" saw year after year, even though most people recognized their greatness, even while we, er I, resented it. Lather, rinse, repeat. Michael Jordan used to convince himself that fans, media, and other players had been critical just to get himself even more psyched for games. So the slights don't even have to be real to be used as fuel.

Enter Pig Ben. Since his meeting with Judge Dread, he has been saying and doing all the right things. He's been talking about the fact that he had a lot of growing up to do and he was working on that. He's been talking about his obligation to his teammates and the community. Meanwhile, he's been working out like a lunatic (he looks to be in the best physical condition he's been in since his rookie year) and doing yoga with his mom. Take it for what it's worth and everybody's mileage may vary on his credibility.

Publicly, he has been humble. And humbled. But inside? Inside, I expect that he feels that he has to quiet all the critics, make them -- us -- choke on our words. And the only way to do that is win football games, play better than he's ever played, better than anybody else is playing. Some people, most people, would wither under that kind of scrutiny, pressure and general condemnation. But I expect it will have the exact opposite effect on Pig Ben.

Roethlisberger's BFF Ray Lewis can probably explain it. In January of 2000, Lewis was arrested in the stabbing deaths of two people. Lewis' attorney (also Pig Ben's attorney), arranged for Lewis to testify against the other two defendants and the murder charges against him were dropped, reduced to the charge of obstruction of justice.

Almost a year to the day later, Lewis' Ravens won the Super Bowl, in no small part because of Lewis' play on the field in that game and throughout that season. The guy has had many great seasons, but perhaps none greater than that year. Normal people, after an ordeal like that -- being involved in or at the very least, witnessing two killings, being investigated, indicted, testifying and all that jazz -- would be thrown off our games. We would just be a mess. But not Ray.

Then there's the other example. Evil Hoodie got caught with his hands in the cookie jar, busted red handed while violating a league rule about filming other teams. Evil Hoodie was fined and the team was docked draft picks. The rest of the NFL reveled in the great comeuppance. But like Ray Lewis, rather than be disturbed by the whole kerfuffle, Evil Hoodie was even more defiant, more determined to run roughshod over the league and thumb his nose at the commish. His team rallied around him, ripped off 18 wins in a row, often rolled up the score on opponents in the process. It led Bill Simmons to dub that season "the Eff You Season," a totally accurate term.

The point is, these are not normal people. The things that would throw most of us into months of self-recrimination, doubt and inertia, instead drive them forward to their greatest performances. It's an alternate reality, through the rabbit hole, out the back of the wardrobe and into the NFL.

That quality allows them to be the elite. They are all undeniably great at what they do, and yet, would you want to spend a night on the town with Ray Lewis? Be married to Bill Belichick? Go on a date with Ben Roethlisberger?

It's an upside down world, the one of pro athletes.

Trying to Quantify the Jeff Reed Issue

There have been no kickoffs returned for touchdowns through the first four games of 2010, no return to the return game horrors of 2009 or chances for Jeff Reed to indifferently flail as a runner goes whizzing by him, of which I think can safely saw we all saw enough last season. Still, with all the talk of Reed’s culpability for the Steelers loss on Sunday, I thought I should take a look at his numbers through the years. I started off with the assumption that last year and the first four games of this year were probably the worst stretch we’ve seen from him since he was hired in 2002, but I wanted to see how the stats actually graded out.

Kickers are hard to break down. Not the field goals, so much, but even there, what is a gimme in a dome or a warm dry stadium like, San Diego, is not necessarily easy at Heinz Field or Soldier Field. And of course, it varies from end to end at Heinz Field and what’s makeable in September is less so in December.

Then, there are the kick off returns, which are complicated because there are or can be mitigating coverage issues. Not every kick off returned for a touchdown is the kicker's fault. Although, off the top of my head, I can think of two times when I’d say that returned kicks were Skippy’s fault last year. Giving up four kick off returned for touchdowns was twice as many as any other NFL team. Putrid.

ESPN and NFL.com keep stats on return yards, but not on the kickoffs themselves, so trying to figure out where his k.o.’s were coming down - in the endzone or at the 15 - means culling through the game books for eight seasons. Yeah ... I'm thinking about that. If any elves out there want to join in the effort, I’ll give you a box of swedish fish.

So, what follows is a quick look at the average yards per kick return and any touchdowns allowed. Then taking a look at field goals. I'm grading on your grade school A+ to F- model. (I was going to use my own scale of marvelous to appalling, but that got adjectively cumbersome.)

I’m going to give him a grade for kickoff returns and one for field goals. I think an argument could be made that his primary role is to kick figgies, that if the Tomlin had a gun to his head and had to choose: either the guy can boom the ball on kickoffs OR he can be a reliable field goal kicker, he'd chose the latter. So, I’m going to weigh the field goal grade twice as much as the kickoff grade (2/3-1/3). I know what you’re saying, I didn’t know there’d be math, but stick with it.

2010:
Through four games, the Steelers rank in the cluster of 25 teams who have not yet allowed a TD on a kick return and they have allowed an average of 21.9 yards per kick return, good for 10th in the NFL. Those are both really good numbers. We should all be pleased.
Kickoff grade: B+
Reed has made only two-thirds of his field goals. Only two other kickers in the league have worse percentages. That stinks, but he is 7 for 7 at distances of up to 40 yards, but he's 0-fer between 40 and 49 yards. Now, Heinz Field is a hard place to kick and one of his four misses was a 55 yard attempt (what was Tomlin thinking?), but still, this is a failing grade. Not quite an F, but
Field Goal grade: D
Average grade for 2010: C-

2009:
I don’t even have to look at the stats to tell you what grade the kickoff game is getting, but for purposes of clarity, they ranked 27th in average yards per return and gave up four touchdowns, worst in the league by a long shot.
Kickoff game: F-
Skippy made 87% of his figgies last year, good for 9th in the league, plus he hit 4 of 5 between 40-49 yards. Those are good marks, not perfect, but very good.
Field Goal grade: A-
Average Grade for 2009: C+

2008:
Ah, the salad days: zero kicks returned for touchdowns and an average of just 19.1 yards per return, good for first in the league.
Kickoff grade: A+
Skippy was 14th in field goal percentage at 87.1% (same as 2009) and was 9 of 12 over 40 yards, one of those being longer than 50.
Field Goal grade: B+
Average Grade for 2008: A

2007:
The kick return game allowed one touchdown and ranked 16th in average yards per return.
Kickoff grade: C
Skippy had the best field goal percentage in the league. Nuff said as far as I’m concerned.
Field Goal grade: A+
Average Grade for 2007: B+

2006:
Kickoff return yards averaged 22.4, 18th in the league; they yielded one touchdown, but only two teams in the league gave up more. This is a pretty fair to middling grade, but on the lower end of fair to middling.
Kickoff grade: D+
Skippy also had a terrible year hitting figgies, good just 74.1% of the time, or 26th in the league. Ouch. And he had misses inside the 30 and inside the 40. Double ouch.
Field Goal grade: F
Average Grade for 2006: D

2005:
Zero touchdowns and they ranked 18th in average yards returned. That’s pretty good.
Kickoff grade: B+
Reed hit 82.8% of his field goals and was perfect inside of 40 yards. That’s a good year. Not a great year, but a good year.
Field Goal grade: B+
Average Grade for 2005: B+

2004:
15th in the league in average return yards, with one touchdown.
Kickoff grade: B
Reed hit nearly 85% of his FGs (10th overall), but gets some demerits. He missed one inside 30 and one inside 40.
Field Goal grade: C+
Average Grade for 2004: B-

2003:
They were in the top 10 for average return yards, but they gave up one touchdown.
Kickoff grade: B+
This was a bad year for Reed, who hit just 71.9% of his figgies. Moreover, he missed three inside the 30.
Field Goal grade: F
Average grade for 2003: D

So there you have it. Skippy’s best and worst years. Clearly, he had a monster year in 2008, coincidentally when the Steelers won the Super Bowl and in 2005, also coincidentally when the Steelers won the Super Bowl. I don’t know if there’s a cause and effect thing going on or if his performance just mirrors the rest of the team, i.e., the whole team was appalling in 2003 and so was Reed; the whole team was great in 2008 and so was Reed.

Also, try to grade him out yourself. My method, as you can see is highly scientific ...

But consider this, every time he graded out lower than a B-, he had a bounce back year the next year. Terrible season in 2003, followed by good one in 2004. Awful performance in 2006 and a really solid year in 2007. What is troubling me now is that last year he graded out with a C+ and this year he’s sitting on a C-, the only time he’s turned in C or lower grades in back to back years.

Is it the beginning of the end of Reed's productivity? Is he less than fully committed because he’s miffed about his contract? The franchise tag? His deep-seated, pathological hatred of paper towel dispensers? Who knows what goes on in the mind of Jeff Reed?