Performance Art, David Mamet and the AFC Championship Game

A long time ago, like back in the Neil O'Donnell era, I went to an evening of performance art at Mellon Park put together by this artsy guy who I kinda knew because he dated somebody I knew. I didn't much care for him. I thought he was pretentious and annoying because he was pretentious and annoying. Also, he wore purple. Lots and lots of purple all the time and I don't think I ever saw him when he wasn't wearing at least one article of purple clothing. He had a simply shocking propensity for purple. Not a dignified purple, like Northwestern or Minnesota Vikings purple, either. It was more like the shade of purple preferred by pre-pubescent little girls, the shade they would squeal with delight to find in a pen and then proceed to sign everything in purple and write on the fronts of their notebooks and stuff. That purple. He even wore purple socks. In the summer. With shorts and running shoes. (I am not making this up.)

But I started thinking about him, and this particular evening of performance art because the over-arching theme was time. It was made up of many different vignettes, some of which were more monologue and others more, em, performance artsy, if you know what I mean. And when one of them was finished, Mr. Purple would bang this little gong he was carrying around and call "Time!," only he did it in a really annoying way -- like, "TIIIMMMMMMMMEEE!" -- he really laid on that "M" and dragged it out. Then we'd all walk, like lemmings, to another spot in the park for another vignette.

I found myself thinking about Mr. Purple calling "TIIIMMMMMMMEEE" yesterday morning when I was reflecting on the Steelers-Jets game because it seems to me it was all about time, it was about the Steelers offense's ability to drain nearly all the time out of the first quarter and about the defenses's ability to make the Jets use more time than they wanted to down the stretch.

They opened the game with a 15 play, nine minute touchdown drive. Nine minutes is an insanely long time for the Steelers offense (any offense, really) to be on the field. The Jets offense must have felt helpless, just standing their on a freezing night, watching the slow, inexorable tour of destruction that was the Steelers offense at the start of the game. They were down by seven points, with one-sixth of the game gone before Mark Sanchez even touched the ball. It felt like that opening drive set the tone for the whole first half, that the Jets had been almost lulled into a coma by the first drive. In fact, the Jets held the ball for just 8:04 in the first half. TIIIMMMMMMEE!

After the Jets gamely fought back to make it a two score game, they took over near the end of the 3rd quarter on their own 13 yard line. Though they drove the length of Heinz Field, James Harrison et al. forced them to use 17 plays to do it, and chew up eight minutes of clock before Casey Hampton and Brett Keisel stoned LaDainian Tomlinson at the goal-line. This was a muther of a goal-line stand.

I realize that the Jets got a safety on the very next snap of the ball, and scored a touchdown on the ensuing drive. Of course. But think of it in terms of time. The Steelers forced them to use 12:38, almost a full quarter of the game, to score just nine points. TIIIMMMMMMEEE!

None of it works, mind you, if the Steelers offense cannot close them out.

In David Mamet's brilliant Glengarry Glen Ross, Blake tells the assembled sales team (selling what, I was never clear on) that they should:

"A-B-C. A-Always. B-Be. C-Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing."

QB rating be damned, Pig Ben is a closer. It may not be pretty and you may not be able to look at a stat sheet to see it, but he's got a killer instinct, an innate, uncanny ability to put a dagger in the other team's heart at just the right moment.

I've been critical of Bruce Arians from time to time (mostly, I just wish he'd take that little delayed handoff to Mewelde Moore and the reverse just out of his playbook. Out. Gone. Banished to the trash heap), but I have to applaud his play-calling at the end of the game, twice calling pass plays to pick up first downs when most other coaches would have just run the ball, punted and tried to pin the Jets deep. It doesn't look like much on the stats sheet:

2nd and 9 at PIT 42 B.Roethlisberger pass short right to H.Miller to NYJ 44 for 14 yards (A.Cromartie).

and

3rd and 6 at NYJ 40 (Shotgun) B.Roethlisberger pass short right to A.Brown pushed ob at NYJ 26 for 14 yards (E.Smith).

Just two relatively routine pass plays, but what those two plays really are is: "You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close!"

I love the calls. Of course, I love the calls because they worked. But lets face it, only a handful of coaches would do it, have the ability to to do it, because there aren't that many closers out there. Pig Ben has never thrown for a bigger 28 yards in his life.

It is a synergy of a quarterback who can make those kinds of plays and a coaching staff that trusts him to do just that. Always Be Closing. That was a closing.

"Fuck you. That's my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name."

Play big or go home. Once again, the Steelers are going to the Super Bowl. And they're not going in a Hyundai.

Steelers Are Dallas Bound

I think this pretty much says it all. We're from the town with the great football team. We cheer the Pittsburgh Steelers.

5 Reasons the Jets Will Win the AFC Championship

Don't worry, yinzers -- I'm doing the Top 5 Reasons the Steelers Will Win tomorrow, but today, here are some reasons Jets fans have to be confident:

1. Rex Ryan. Say what you will, let loose all the foot fetish puns in your arsenal and make all the fat jokes you want (Lord knows I made my fair share of fat jokes at Charlie Weis’ expense), but this guy is a great coach. He somehow handles, juggles, manages or whatever you want to call it, an inordinate number of huge personalities on the Jets roster and he does it in the Circus Maximus known as the New York media. His players have undisciplined mouths, but they are disciplined on the field. Go figure. And I know that chafes a lot of folks out there -- Brady, Belichick, and at least half of the talking heads -- but it works.

Consider this, from the miracle of Super Bowl III until Big Rex’s arrival in the Big Apple, the Jets had missed the playoffs 29 times and played in just two conference championship games. Just TWO. Suddenly, they're in the Final Four in back to back seasons.

And it's no fluke. It’s not simply Ryan's bluster or freakish ability to manage personnel, it is because he also happens to excel at scouting and scheming. Last week, his defensive gameplan stymied the great and wondrous Tom Brady throughout the game. The Jets managed to bring heat, sacking Brady five times and hitting him seven more times, but they covered his receivers to the point of outfoxing Brady. There was one play late in the game where Brady dropped back and looked for a receiver for about eight or nine seconds before throwing the ball away in disgust. That's what Ryan's scheme was designed to do, but he does have the luxury of having the personnel downfield who can cover like stink on a skunk. Which brings me to

2. Darrelle Revis. If any corner in the league can shut down The Flash, Mike Wallace, this is the guy. The Jets lead the league in the lowest percentage of passes completed, with opposing QB’s completing just 50.7% of their attempts per game. Revis Island is a big reason why. He takes away the opposition’s biggest downfield threat, leaving Antonio Cromartie on the other side of the field to handle the secondary receiver. Let’s face it, Wallace has been able to simply outrun just about everybody in the NFL, but I’m not sure that he can just run away from Revis.

Who cares that Revis doesn't have any interceptions this year? Quarterbacks rarely throw to his side of the field anymore and his nearly flawless coverage allows his teammates to reap the fruit from the turnover tree. It all works out in the end. The Jets picked off Tom Brady for the first time since, god, it felt like since the George W. Bush administration (actually the Ravens picked him off twice in October.) It is notable, even, that Brady threw only five picks all year but three of them against the Jets. The week before that, this same defensive secondary shut down the world’s greatest living quarterback, Peyton Manning, and basically erased Reggie Wayne from the game. Its like he wasn't even there. I believe this is the best corner tandem in the NFL.

3. Brad Smith. To me, the difference in the December 19th which the Jets won 22-17 was the opening kick off return for a touchdown. In fact, I wrote a post about special teams miscues and how they come back to bite you in the ass like a hungry grizzly bear every time.

Last week, Baltimore's Lardarius Webb returned two kicks and two punts, for a total of 96 yards. And, not that our friends in Baltimore would ever let us forget, one of those punt returns was a touchdown save for a (correct) holding call, which would add another 29 yards to his totals. If you're counting at home, that's 125 yards on four returns, or 31.25 yards per return. Oy.

The combination of the Steelers specious special teams coverage units with the Jets Smith (who has two touchdowns this year and averages 28.64 yards per kick return) scares the bejeezus out of me. The Jets best chance of winning may be to win the special teams battle, give Sanchez and Co. a short field, or just score on a kick or punt return. Smith was inactive with a groin injury for the New England game, but I think he's playing this Sunday night. Even if he doesn't go, they'll send Antonio Cromartie back there and he's no return slouch, himself.

4. Santonio Holmes. No, it's not his deep and wide-ranging knowledge of the Steelers defense that scares me, it's his ability to make ridiculous plays at crunch-time. Oh, sure, he'll drop a ton of passes (and I'll be damned if I can find that stat anywhere; damn you internet!), but he can make the catches that make you say, 'no effing way!' The easy ones? Not so much. But if time is ticking away and Sanchez launches the ball to a ridiculous spot nobody can get to, 'Tone will get to it. That could be a tipping point.

5. D’Brickshaw Ferguson, Matt Slauson, Nick Mangold, Brandon Moore and Wayne Hunter. This would be an even more compelling reason, had the Jets not lost line stalwart Damien Woodey to an achilles injury, but still, this is an impressive front five. The Jets averaged 148.4 rushing yards per game (5th) and ran for 2,374 yards total (4th). They allowed only 28 quarterback sacks (8th) all year. In the playoffs, they've rushed for nearly identical numbers - averaging 144.5 yards per game -- and have allowed just one sack in two games.

A big part of the reason that the Jets have advanced this far is that they've won this battle by an overwhelming margin -- keeping Sanchez upright and unhurried. He may not be a seasoned vet and he certainly has his detractors, but he's playing his best football right now. With enough time and good passing lanes, he can beat any team.

Tomorrow, five reasons that the Steelers will win. For now, I've managed to psych myself into a harried state of anxiety that has morphed into actual heart palpitations. Nice work on my part. Yeah.

Serenity Prayer for the AFC Championship

Chief (or God, whatevs),

Grant me the serenity to make it through this week's game without throwing anything or actually physically injuring myself. (You know what I'm talking about. January, 2006 ... Indianapolis ... I don't think I need to go on.) Grant me the courage and grace to wish the Jets well should they outplay my Steelers. And grant me the wisdom to take a xanax after the game Sunday night so that I can get some sleep.

Truly, I am trying to go into this game with a sense of perspective.

Back in August, did anybody seriously expect the Steelers to even be playing in the AFC Championship game? Be honest, now. Nobody expected this [except Peter King, who predicted a Packers-Steelers Super Bowl.]

But most of SteelerNation wisely lowered our expectations, given that the Steelers were coming off a heinous 2009 season with the defense looking old, pliable, to be brutally honest, fair to middling. We thought the playoffs might be out of reach, given that the team was heading into the 2010 season without Pig Ben for the first four games, with Santonio Holmes gone to the Jets (of all freaking places), with Willie Colon lost for the season before the pre-season even started. Think back to those days when it was hot, rather than a sheet of ice outside and who among us thought they could win even 10 games? Personally, I figured it would be another disappointing 9-7 year.

The fact that the Steelers are playing in this game is gravy and I will do my best to be mindful of that Sunday night, despite the temptation to get swept up in the emotion of the thing.

That the Steelers are not only playing in this game, but hosting it? Well, that's some Top Chef worthy gravy on top of gravy.

Hosting this game is an absolute good. No matter the outcome.

I heard on the radio yesterday that the Winter Classic brought $22 or $23 million in revenue into the city. Last year, when the Steelers missed the playoffs altogether, the Trib reported that losing just one game was a loss of about $18 million in income. Anecdotally, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see how good it is for the city. Go down to the Strip District on Saturday morning and just try to find a parking space anywhere closer than the 31st Street Bridge. It's not just revenue from Polamalu jerseys, Terrible Towels and black and gold t-shirts that read, "Drink Up Yinz Bitches" -- it's hotels, restaurants, bars, etc., and I remain convinced that supermarkets and beer distributors see an uptick in sales, as people load up with game day fixins'. Bartenders and waitresses all over Western Pennsylvania rejoice!

As to the opposition, well, first a big, big thank you to Mark Sanchez and Company for sparing us all from a Steelers trip to Foxboro.

Next, let me run down the list of Jets players I hate ... um ... Surely there are some. Wait, I'm sure there's somebody, one player, per my friend Smiley:

"Antonio Cromartie stomped on The Towel when he ran out of the tunnel before kickoff of the Chargers playoff game I went to two years ago. Welcome back to Pittsburgh, Antonio. The Towel never forgets."

So there's that. One must never, ever disrespect the Towel. But that's only one player, a woefully low percentage of players for whom I harbor any enmity compared to say, the Patriots or my historical pantheon of hatred for the Cowboys and the Raiders.

Plus, I was a big Darrelle Revis fan back when he played for Pitt, so if we're being honest here, I would root FOR the Jets over a good number of possible AFC opponents. Hate the Jets? Nah. Not really.

What about Rex Ryan, you say? It's true that many (maybe most) of my friends have had enough of the Sexy Rex Ryan show, but I love Rex. The guy is funny, he's entertaining, he seems to be really, very much himself and that's refreshing. Last year, going into a game with the Colts, he said, "We're going to start with the injury report. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett. ... All those guys will not play. Tom Moore, Howard Mudd and John Teerlink should get more extended Christmas break, it says here. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus."

This year, before a game with the Browns, Rex showed up in a wig and Browns cap, mocking his brother Rob, the Browns defensive coordinator. I swear, I watched it every time they ran it on SportsCenter and laughed my ass off every time.

But it's not all bluster and trash-talk. After his team went out and got their asses soundly beaten (45-3) by the New England Patriots in prime-time about a month ago, Ryan took the heat off his guys, saying that the loss was on him, that Bill Belichick outcoached, "I came in here to kick his butt and he kicked mine." And even after the Jets stunning upset of the Pats on Sunday night, Ryan said that Belichick still outcoached him, but that his players, Ryan's players, outplayed the Pats. Nice. Take credit for the losses, give credit for the wins. I'm not quite sure why people dislike this guy. Seriously.

So, I am going to do my best to remain calm, keep things in perspective. It's a football game, after all. One I never expected the Steelers to be in, one I never expected the city to benefit from hosting, so I'm going to try to remind myself of all of the above, if things start to run off the rails sometime around 8:00 on Sunday night.

All bets are off, however, if the Steelers give up a special teams touchdown.

They Said What?

Just starting to turn the engine over on the AFC Championship Game build up, I thought I'd post some links and quotes from out of town or national analysts on both the Steelers victory and the Jets victory. On with it.

Here's what people were saying after the Steelers came back to beat the Ravens:

From Peter King at SI:

That it was. In a cruel twist that will hurt coach John Harbaugh and GM Ozzie Newsome even more when they realize it, the nobody rookies for the Steelers beat the rich free-agents for the Ravens. Anquan Boldin, the $8 million receiver acquired from Arizona last spring, caught one ball for minus-two yards. Veteran T.J. Houshmandzadeh dropped what would have been a fourth-down conversion pass from Joe Flacco with 63 seconds to go and Baltimore trailing 31-24. "I can't believe it happened,'' a stunned Houshmandzadeh said later. "I can't ever recall dropping the ball when the team needed me. It's almost like it's not real.''

Inexcusable on both counts, those two guys coming up so small ... and Flacco (an underwhelming 16 of 30 with two turnovers) and Ray Rice (a crucial fumble) helping the collapse.

From Gene Wojciechowski at ESPN.com:

The Steelers didn't fold. They unfolded. For the first 30 minutes they played like they were still on a bye week, but then came the playoff smelling salts.

"I think both teams think they can impose their will," said Farrior. "We always believe we can do that. It's a little tough when Baltimore thinks it can do the same thing.''

Thinking and doing are two different things. You could see it in the Ravens' body language. You even could see it in the Heinz Field press box, where members of the Ravens' front office, including general manager Ozzie Newsome, spent much of the second half shaking their heads in disbelief, burying their heads in their hands, slamming tabletops (not Newsome, by the way), and delivering loud, exasperated sighs.

From Peter Schmuck at the Baltimore Sun:

Who knows why fate frowns at certain times, but it made a very ugly face at the Ravens at that point. Ray Rice hadn't fumbled all year, but he exposed the ball and the turnaround began. Joe Flacco, who is known for his cool demeanor under pressure, suddenly looked like a guy desperately trying to make up a big deficit instead of a guy trying to protect a lead. You saw what happened.

It would be easy to throw this all on Flacco for making two turnovers on consecutive possessions, but it wouldn't be fair. Just about everybody the Ravens depend on to make an offensive play failed — at some point — to make the kind of play that good playoff teams make. And you can't just look at this game in a vacuum

The Ravens have been doing this kind of thing, in one form or another, throughout this strange (and sometimes wonderful) season. It hasn't been a failure of the offense, though the offense certainly seemed to play well below the potential ascribed to it after the arrival of quality receivers Anquan Boldin, T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Donte' Stallworth. There were defensive breakdowns, too, though the defense certainly carried the team to the threshold of what would have been a huge and potentially historic victory on Saturday.

From Kevin Van Valkenberg at the Baltimore Sun:

3. The Ravens still have issues at wide receiver. And it may be time to cut ties with a few of them.

Derrick Mason looked old against the Steelers. He couldn't get separation all game, and despite being targeted several times, he didn't catch a pass for the first time all year. T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Anquan Boldin dropped key passes when their team desperately needed them to make a play. Donte' Stallworth was a non factor all year, including Saturday.

Wasn't this supposed to be the best receiving corps in the league?

What they were saying about the Jets huge upset of the Patriots:

From Don Banks at SI:

Remarkably enough, the 6-seeded Jets are one of four NFL teams still in that particular hunt, and it's not an overstatement to say Ryan is clearly the biggest reason why. Love him or loathe him, Ryan gave his team the difference-making edge on Sunday with a defensive game plan that left Tom Brady and the high-flying Patriots befuddled and off-balance for most of the day.

It was a masterful performance by the Jets, and player after player in the New York locker room gave credit to Ryan and his ability to disguise New York's pass coverages and create the schemes that brought consistent pressure on Brady.

From Jason Whitlock as FoxSports:

Trailing 7-3 with 74 seconds left in the half and facing fourth and 4 at the New England 38, Belichick called for a fake punt. Defensive back Patrick Chung dropped the direct snap and the Jets tackled him for a 1-yard loss.

The Jets capitalized, scoring a quick TD to take a commanding 11-point lead.

The fake was ignorant. There was no reason to force anything at that point. The Pats were getting the second-half kickoff. New England panicked. The alleged “smartest” team in football played a dumb football game.

From Mike Freeman at CBSSportsline:

The Jets are what happens when fearlessness has a one-night stand with cockiness.

The Jets couldn't help themselves, in the end, taunting and talking on their way to the AFC title game against Pittsburgh. They left with a metaphorical middle finger raised high to the critics while simultaneously embracing an almost metaphysical belief in themselves. Would you expect them to be any other way? Would you want them to be any other way?

The Jets talk. And they talk. And they talk until their throats are dry and everyone is tired of hearing from them. But the Jets also back up that talk with action. There was no greater example of this than Tom Brady being sacked five times. Or looking frustrated. Or hands on hips. Or cursing at himself on the bench.

From Tim Graham at ESPN.com:

There will be a crow shortage in butcher shops across the country. I'm eating mine with a little Caribbean jerk sauce as I write this. It's a bit gamey.

With conviction, I wrote and said on television and radio throughout the past week the Jets would not win. Like so many of you, I was certain the Patriots would smack them around. Sure, I gave conciliatory analysis on how the Jets could win: dominate on the ground, dominate on third downs and Jeff Gillooly kneecapping Tom Brady during the national anthem.

But as I mentioned in my weekly AFC East chat, people in their right mind couldn't predict the Jets to win Sunday after watching them get razed in Week 13.

Not even Jets icon Joe Namath could bring himself to pick the Jets.

From Bob Ryan at the Boston Globe:

What do you say when you are whipped, fair and square? What do you say when there are no freaky happenings, when there are no loose ends, when there are no overtly bad calls, when the other team makes the big plays when it has to and stops you when you need to make some of your own?

What do you say when the other team does exactly what it wants to do and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it? What do you say when the other coach runs his mouth and his team backs him up? What do you say when a verbose rival gets to keep playing and you must pack up and go home, beaten, 28-21, on the field where you hadn’t lost a game all season?
...
Of course, the main reason the Patriots fell down in the execution was the play of the Jets. Brady looked comfortable only on rare occasions, the best example an eight-play, 80-yard drive that, combined with a direct snap 2-point conversion by Sammy Morris, got them within 3 points at 14-11 late in the third period. But that was the exception on a late afternoon/early evening when he was sacked five times, harassed into many ugly incompletions, and even threw his first interception in two months. The coverage of the Jets defensive backs was positively brilliant.

From Greg Bishop at the New York Times:

Momentum, conventional wisdom and common sense pointed toward the Patriots. They had the league’s best quarterback (Brady), best coach (Bill Belichick) and, according to many pundits, best team. Brady had just led them down the field for a touchdown and 2-point conversion.

Yet it was Sanchez who took over the fourth quarter, who found receiver Jerricho Cotchery for 58 yards, who lobbed a perfect 7-yard fade that receiver Santonio Holmes caught in the corner of the end zone. Holmes landed his right knee inbounds, then his left foot, as an official’s arms extended toward the sky.

The Jets led, improbably, 21-11. All their bluster, threats and name-calling had been backed up.

NFL Wildcard Weekend Preview

The annual march to Super Bowl silliness is upon us and everyone is all a-flutter. A few months ago, I even heard Bill Simmons say that he believed we were on a collision course with a Roethlisberger v. Vick Super Bowl. Oy, the mass density of that media day would certainly cause a shifting in the global tides perhaps set off the opening of a crevasse that would swallow Jerr'Jones' Deathstar in Big D right on the spot. Okay, maybe that's just my wishful thinking, but I'm way ahead of myself here. Right now, let's just see how wildcard weekend breaks down.

New Orleans Saints v. Seattle Seahawks, 4:30 Saturday

Teeth have been gnashed, garments rended, and panties twisted over the Seahawks appearance in the playoffs this year, but I wonder, what do they have to do to win? Can they even win?

The Seahawks defense is near the bottom of the pickle barrel, allowing on average 24.5 points per game. By way of reference, the Steelers allow 10 fewer points per game. Meanwhile, the Saints hang up 24 points every week, give or take. I know that the Saints are without the services of their two most reliable running backs, and I know that Drew Brees has thrown a very un-Drew Brees-like 22 interceptions this year, and that Seattle's field is the loudest outdoor facility in the NFL, and that weather can be a factor, but even given all of that, it's hard for me to think that the Saints won't put up five touchdowns today.

What the Saints need to do to win: don't turn the ball over.

What the Seahawks need to do to win: hope that Drew Brees turns into Heath Shuler.



New York Jets v. Indianapolis Colts, 8:00 Saturday

The match up of the day, featuring the coach who never met a microphone he didn't like versus one who I'm not sure is even awake half the time. I value equanimity, but Jim Caldwell always looks like he's thinking about something, anything else but the football game in front of him, like he's day-dreaming about playing a game of catch in the backyard with his grandkids or something.

After Peyton Manning torched the Jets other corner last year, Sexy Rexy Ryan went out and got Antonio Cromartie to balance out Revis Island. The problem for the Jets is the underneath coverage, where they are without safety Jim Leohnard. If Manning finds a way to exploit the middle of the field coverage, the Colts could put up a ton of points. And that means that Mark Sanchez, et al. will need to match them.

What the Colts need to do to win: give coach Caldwell some Red Bull and protect Manning so he can find open receivers underneath.

What the Jets need to do to win: promise Santonio Holmes two extra blunts as a bonus for every touchdown he catches.



Baltimore Ravens v. Kansas City Chiefs, 1:00 SundayThe Chiefs? In the playoffs? Yup. And I love it, because I think, after long scientific studies, that Kansas City fans are among the best in the league. I'm glad to see the playoffs back there.

The Chiefs have the best rushing attack in the NFL, averaging over 164 yards per game on the ground, but if Todd Haley and his coaches think that the Ravens are going to let them get away with that, they have another thing coming. This is not the 2000 Ravens defense. Heck, it isn't even the 2006 Ravens defense. But they are capable of taking away the one thing a team wants to do (run) and make them do something else (pass.) If the Chiefs don't find a way to pass the ball effectively, it's going to be a long day.

What the Ravens need to do to win: stop the Chiefs running game and let Ed Reed ballhawk.

What the Chiefs need to do to win: sub-contract with Troy Polamalu to come in and make an amazing, game changing play some time in the 4th quarter.



Green Bay Packers v. Philadelphia Eagles, 4:00 Sunday
First Mike Vick was a pariah, then he just wasn't that good, then he was the league MVP, then he was complaining about getting hit too much, then he was just pretty good. And that's where we are now. Mike Vick, up from Hades, but back down from the Mount Olympus of football. Meanwhile, the Packers defense, a big, big liability last year, has turned into a dominant, intimidating unit this year. Dom Capers is just more evidence that being a great coordinator (he is) does not make you a great head coach (he isn't.)
Both defenses like to blitz and the Eagles have 23 interceptions, half of which have come when they've been blitzing. Meanwhile, the other defense has recorded 47 sacks this year, second most in the NFL. Basically, for both teams, this game comes down to their ability to protect their quarterbacks. Or get to the opposing quarterback, as the case may be.

What the Packers need to do to win: Find a way to pick up the Eagles blitz and keep Aaron Rogers' clean and upright.

What the Eagles need to do to win: find a way to keep Clay Matthews out of Mike Vick's grill. Oh, and also bring a fan out of the stands to manage the clock for Andy Reid if things are close in late in the game.

Special Teams Return to 2009 Form and Drag Rest of Team Down with Them

I am a believer in the church of the special teams. Yea verily, just as surely as many evangelicals believe in the certainty of the rapture, I believe that special teams touchdowns will come back to bit you in the ass. Hard. I believe that special teams are as important to a team's success as having a franchise quarterback, winning the turnover battle, and controlling the line of scrimmage. In some mystical karmic way, special teams points seem to carry more weight, more cache and special teams touchdowns are to regular touchdowns as dog years are to people years.

Exhibit A: San Diego Chargers. The Chargers are fighting for their playoff lives in no small part because of two early season losses: to the Chiefs by 21-14 - a game in which they gave up a punt return for a TD; and to the Seahawks by 27-20 - a game in which they gave up TWO kickoff returns for TDs. As things stand today, the Chargers are on the outside looking into the playoff picture.

Exhibit B: New York Giants. Who lost yesterday's thriller to the Eagles when they allowed DeSean Jackson to return a punt for a TD on the last play of the game. Brutal. The Giants still are hanging on to the last spot in the playoffs, but I have to wonder if they can get past the kick to the stomach that yesterday's loss was to win out in the last two weeks?

Exhibit C: Pittsburgh Steelers. The team won in Tennessee after Antonio Brown took the opening kickoff to the house. It was the only touchdown they scored all day. Then yesterday, they lost to the Jets after allowing Brad Smith to take the opening kickoff to the house. Coincidence? I don't think so.

You put your team behind the eight-ball when you allow a special teams touchdown. NFL teams are a combined 10-16 when giving up a special teams touchdown and, for some unknown reason, kick returns seem to do more damage that punt returns. In the 20 games with a kickoff returned for a touchdown in the NFL this year, the team with the KO TD has won 13 of those times, and lost just 7 times. Those are pretty much 2 to 1 odds that you'll win if you take a touchdown to the house.

Maybe it's just the letdown factor for the defense. If you're kicking off, either its the start of the game, the start of the half or you've just scored. So let's say your offense fights and claws and puts together a 80-something yard drive. It takes a lot of plays of 11 players doing their jobs, maybe a spectacular catch or two, or maybe a few tackle breaking runs. And all that work is negated on the ensuing kick. The hard work of that offensive touchdown is erased in about 3 seconds.

It's disheartening.

And it's no way to open a game. Particularly against a team like the Jets.

The Jets average just about 21 points per game and I'm not sure if the folks at Stats, Inc. adjust that for other scores - the Jets had another special teams TD and a TD on an interception return coming into this game. Regardless, the Jets are hardly the Patriots prolific offense, so you can't help a team score, particularly one that had been shut out earlier this year by the Packers and had scored just nine points in the last two weeks. Sure, they were fighting for their playoff lives, but still, this Jets team was there for the taking.

Even with the special teams miscue, and even with a defense that cannot make any big plays without Troy on the field (talk about disheartening - just one sack, just one tackle for a loss and only two QB hits), the Steelers were down by just 3 points and had the ball. (For more on the defense being just pedestrian without Troy, check out Gene Collier's great column.)

Why on earth was Mewelde Moore on the field on 1st and 10 from the Steelers 3? Moore is the best blitz protection back, so if you're gonna pass, I can see him being on the field. But at their own 3 yard line, I don't think the Steelers are going to pass there. And the Jets didn't think so either.

Every coach, every player has a chink in the armor, an achilles heel, not like Troy's injured achilles, but one in the Greek mythology sense. And I think that Bruce Arians' biggest flaw as a play caller is that he tries too hard to outsmart teams.

"It would be so stupid of me to run the ball around the corner with Mewelde Moore in this situation that nobody would expect it. Perfect! .... Oh. Crap."

It's a low percentage call in a situation where you cannot afford to lose yards, so what's the logic in handing the ball off to the smallest, weakest back on the roster and running something to the edges?

Why not hand the ball off to the guy who has 100 yards on the day and is averaging nearly 6 yards per carry? I've said it before and I'll say it again -- they drafted Rashard Mendenhall to be the man. They should give him the opportunity to be the man.

The kick off return for a touchdown, the safety -- those are the kinds of plays the Steelers have manufactured to win this season. With special teams reverting to last year's execrable form, and without the team MVP on the field, they couldn't get any of those plays, but rather watched helplessly while the Jets made a couple of big 'splash' plays in Tomlin-speak.

On the upside, the Steelers haven't lost a game to a bad team this year, unlike last season's five game skid that included losses to the bad stinky Chiefs, stinkier Raiders, and the stench that killed an entire region, a/k/a the Brady Quinn led Browns. So, they got that going for them. Yesterday's loss was not one of those terrible, embarrassing losses, but still, it's a game that was there for the taking.

My Strange Infatuation with Sexy Rex Ryan

From True/Slant on January 18, 2010

Thank You, Rex Ryan.

Up until 5:00 est on Sunday, the divisional round of the NFL playoffs was about as much fun as all the snow shoveling I’ve done in the past month.

Enter the New York Jets.

As much as I enjoyed watching the Packers and the Cardinals break the scoreboard last week, I love watching good defense. And the Jets defense is fun. The Jets are riding high on their top-notch, risky, blitzing, pounding defense. Nursing a 10 point lead, Rex Ryan never reverted to the dreaded prevent defense. He trusted his players to make plays. They did. Sometimes blitzed and brought six guys. Sometimes they dropped everybody and rushed only three guys. When Phillip Rivers punched, the Jets D counter-punched. They bobbed and weaved and did a rope-a-dope. But they never went into a shell. They were never just reactive. That defense was pro-active every moment it was on the field. They knew that a comfortable Phillip Rivers eats defenses alive. So they never let him get comfortable. LaDainian Tomlinson was a non-factor (mostly sitting on the bench looking sad by the end) and Rivers never got in a groove. Score one for the Jets defense. Score one for smart risk-taking.

It’s so handy for a sportswriter when a team reflects their coach. It’s a great little meme to reach for. But this team really does reflect Ryan. The Jets have had some decent teams over the years, but they haven’t had this much swagger since Joe Namath was running the offense.

Say what you want about Rex Ryan (and feel free to insert fat joke here), but he’s awakened a team turned inert by the Mangenius, a franchise routinely booed by their own fans at the draft. He’s taken that team the whole way to the AFC Championship game.

So, yeah, he’s big and fat. He’s loud and obnoxious, too. Some don’t care for his style, but I do. I’m so sick of watching taciturn coaches grunt answers like pre-pubescent boys at the dinner table. Do they really think the media is the enemy? That they can somehow lose a game on the dais, rather than on the sidelines? Yes, I am looking at you Evil Hoodie. How’s that whole cloak and dagger routine working for ya these days? Thought so.

But it’s not just Evil Hoodie. The pubescent boy speak afflicts much of the league.

Rex Ryan is good for the media. He seems to actually enjoy the give and take. But more importantly, Ryan is good for the Jets. I didn’t want to like him. I really didn’t. But I can’t help myself. That defense and his pounding running game won me over, because I admit it, I kick it old school like that.

But how’d we all end up here? The Jets versus the Colts? A rematch of Super Bowl III in the 2010 AFC Championship Game. Really?

Back on Christmas morning, you’ll remember, the Jets were left for dead on the side of the road, with a record of 7-7 and just coming off a stinking loss versus the Falcons. Even Ryan himself said their playoff hopes were nil. Then the Colts gave up, gave in, yanked their starters and didn’t really try much during a week 16 Sunday night game. They spit the proverbial bit, as it were.

Oh, there was a tremendous hue and cry from the Colts fans, but the Colts coaches and players rationalized it — they were protecting Manning and Clark and Wayne, et al. There were more important games ahead.

But we all knew it was a bad omen. The Colts opened this Pandora’s Box and let loose the Jets on the playoff picture.

To their credit, the Jets run the ball down the other teams throat. They take away the deep pass and pressure the QB. They make offenses look awkward. And Mark Sanchez (cliche alert) is better than just a game manager: He makes just a few plays, but he seems to have a knack for making them at key moments. It’s a good sign for the long-term future health of the Jets franchise, to say nothing of the jubilation going on at the moment.

If the Colts lose to the Jets this Sunday, that would be a delicious irony, another handy literary illusion to reach for. But even if the Jets magical run ends in Indianapolis, without the tidy greek-tragedy bookend, it sure has been a fun ride.