Packers Win XLV, Pittsburgh Sofas Still at Risk

Steelers fans are miserable now, furious that the Steelers lost Super Bowl XLV and while the Steelers did their part to spit the bit, the narrative that the Steelers lost it, implies that the Packers didn't win it, that they were just passive recipients of the Steelers noblesse oblige. It denies the Packers agency in their own victory and that's just not cool. So allow me, for a moment, to write about how the Packers went about winning the game.

The best defense on the field was in green and yellow, not black and gold.
They were opportunistic, they sensed the big moments and responded. And they forced some of Pittsburgh's mistakes.

Exhibit One. Nick Collins' pick six was forced by Green Bay pressure. Somebody, and I'm not sure who, hit Pig Ben's arm as he was releasing the ball. Mike Wallace had a step or two on his man and had Ben hit him, he might have been gone. Instead, because of the hit, the ball fluttered out like a lame, dying dodo bird into Collins' arms. He did the rest. Whoever it was who beat Chris Kemeoatu like a wet noodle to get to Pig Ben, deserves a ton of credit on that play.

Exhibit Two. I've crushed Mendenhall in the past for his fumbling problems and after a season that was happily devoid of many fumbles, it came back to bite him last night. Still, I'm not going to pin it all on Mendenhall. He had the ball high and tight; Clay Matthews made a great play to hit him right in his elbow and force the ball out. Not that somebody couldn't have blocked Matthews. Not that Mendenhall couldn't have been alert enough to shout out "Ball! Ball! Ball!" when the ball popped loose to alert his oblivious linemen, rather than laying there like startled mannequin. Sigh. But truly the fumble itself was at least 80% Matthews.

In short, the Packers defense scored and then set their offense up to score some more. That's not just Steelers screw ups -- that's Packers' agency.

The Packers offense pounced.
When your defense hands you gifts, as an offense it is incumbent upon you to unwrap those gifts, squeal with delight and model those gifts while parading around like one of the Housewives of Orange County parading around in her new boobs.

Rogers stuck his chest out and turned both Steelers turnovers into touchdowns. Not field goals, but touchdowns. After the Jarrett Bush interception, Rogers took over at his own 47. Four plays later, he hit Greg Jennings in the endzone. After the Mendenhall fumble, the Pack had the ball at their own 45. Eight plays later, Rogers hit Jennings for another touchdown. Despite a slew of his receivers dropping balls, Rogers stared down the Steelers defense and didn't blink.

Life Rule Applies to Football Too: Timing Is Everything.
Although I find it hard to blame Mendenhall for his fumble, the timing could not have been worse. The offense had clawed their way back to within four-points of the Packers, the defense had held four times through the 3rd quarter, and special teams had flip-flopped field position after the idiocy of the 52 yard field goal attempt. So with the team driving, with a second down and short at Green Bay's 33 yard line, it looked like they might even take the lead in the game and pull off a miracle.

Then somebody misses a block on Matthews, he forces the fumble and it was one of those moments that will always cause Steelers fans to feel sick and empty, while Wisconsinite will think back on that play with warn fuzzy feelings in their private parts. It was too much, finally, too much for the Steelers to overcome.Mistakes Are Magnified.
Somebody much smarter than I did a breakdown of turnover differential in Super Bowls. It is hard to win a regular season game when you've lost the turnover battle; in the Super Bowl, it is virtually impossible. Mistakes are magnified, they somehow take on a life of their own, they go viral, grow exponentially, until the weight of them crushes you, leaving dreams of glory squashed like gnat under Casey Hampton's butt. Teams that have won the turnover battle, even if it's just by one turnover, are 32-3 in the Super Bowl. Well, now I guess that's 33-3 for the team winning the turnover differential battle.

No More Rabbits Out of the Helmets.
All year, the Steelers have been a team that made a big play (or two) when they needed one. You can look through nearly all of their close wins this season and pick out just one or two plays that basically won the game for them.

Against the Falcons, it was Troy's amazing INT on the sidelines and Mendenhall's overtime dash.

Against the Bengals, it was James Harrison knocking the ball out of Jordan Shipley's grip to seal the victory.

Against the Ravens in Baltimore, it was Troy's amazing strip sack and Redman's great run through tacklers into the endzone for the winning score.

Against the Bengals the second time around, Troy's pick six did the job.

Against the Bills, Troy made an amazing interception (and they had some help from Stevie Johnson's drop).

Against the Ravens in the playoffs, Harrison went on a complete tear for two series in the 3rd quarter and then Pig Ben had his huge throw to Antonio Brown on 3rd and 18.

Against the Jets, Ike Taylor's strip fumble and Pig Ben hooking up, again, with Brown were the story of that game.

Just one or two plays. A big play from Pig Ben. A big play from James Harrison. Next thing you know, the Steelers have won. And they count on that magic from those three guys -- Troy and Harrison and Pig Ben. And a few others, no doubt, but primarily, those are the big three. Last night, they needed at least one of those three guys to make a transcendent play -- just one amazing, game turning play, the kind those players seem to always produce. Troy was nowhere to be found, with just three tackles, no quarterback hits, no sacks, no interceptions, no turnovers, not even any tackles for losses.

Harrison had a couple of plays, but he was unable to force a ball loose, pick off a pass, or get to the quarterback on a key third down.

Pig Ben threw some of the worst passes of his career (and probably wants the one back where he overthrew a wide open Mike Wallace, more than any other.) To his credit, Ben got the Steelers back into the game, was a huge part of the recovery team that dug them out of the mine shaft he had helped to put them in in the first place. During the two minute drill, such as it was, he morphed into Kordell Stewart, rather than his usual clutch self and it all fell apart.

And that, my friends, is what happens when the guys who make magic run out of fairy dust, are rendered human, frail and vulnerable by a team good enough and smart enough to withstand a few shots to the chin and midsection and keep on firing, a team capable of making some magical plays of its own.

A Dozen of the Super Bowl's Greatest Hits

With Super Bowl XLV just about upon us, I started thinking about great moments in the Super Bowl. Sure, there were some stinker, blow out games, but there have been some stupendous moments in the sport's biggest game. While I'm sure that hundreds if not thousands of other writers and other bloggers have compiled their own lists, here are my twelve cents, my twelve plays or moments that stand out. I'm sure I've missed some and will put a burr under the saddle of Cowboys fans or Ravens fans or something, but these are moments that resonate for me.

12. SB XXXI: Desmond Howard's 99 yard touchdown return. New England had crept back into the game, cutting the Pack's lead to just six points. On the ensuing kickoff, Howard rambled 99 yards for the score that put the Pats away for good. Video here. (the return comes around 0:35).

11. SB XXII -- Doug Williams to Ricky Sanders. Based on my sheer fondness for Doug Williams, I could move this into the top five. I always had a soft spot for the guy. This Super Bowl just captivated me and I have no idea why. Also, I can remember it like it was yesterday. Strangely (and pathetically) enough, I remember that I skipped socializing that night and I was home folding laundry when Doug Williams starting raining touchdowns down on the Broncos defense in the single most dominant quarter in Super Bowl history (the Redskins scored 35 points. For reals). It all started with Williams lofting a nice, soft pass into Sanders around midfield. Video here.

10. SB XVI -- Dan Bunz and the Niners goal-line stand. The 49ers were up on the Bengals by the score of 20-7 late in third quarter when the Bengals drove to the San Fran 3, but the Niners defense denied them four times, highlighted by Bunz' fantastic tackle on a pass to Charles Alexander on third down. How many things in life are as satisfying as a great goal-line stand? Video here.

9. SB XXXVI -- Patriots Final Drive. Yeah, yeah, I know. I hate the Patriots, but ... this was a great, gutsy drive and if I'm being fair, I have to list it. The Rams had all the momentum. They scored two touchdowns in the 4th quarter, including one with just 90 seconds left in the game to tie it up. John Madden was blabbering on the TV feed about how and why the Patriots had to play for overtime. Not so quick there, bub. We didn't know it at the time, but Tom Brady was simply showing us who he would be for most of his career in the last 81 seconds of his first Super Bowl -- dumping the ball off to J.R. Redmond (J.R. Redmond?), hitting Troy Brown and calmly managing the clock to set up Adam Vinatieri's game winning kick. Video here.

8. SB X -- Lynn Swann's gravity-defying, floating catch. I know, the list is a little Steelers heavy, but you cannot deny the sheer artistry of this magnificent grab. If you have ever watched NFL films in your life, I'm sure you've seen this catch. It's like a magic trick and words don't do it justice. Video here.

7. Super Bowl XXIII -- Joe Montana's touchdown pass to John Taylor. Despite having the magnificent, chicken-legged Joe Montana at the helm, the Niners had scored just one touchdown all game and were trailing the Bengals by the score of 16-13. Then with about three minute left in the 4th quarter, Montana put together an amazing drive from the San Fran 9 yard line to the Bengals' 10. With 39 seconds on the clock, Jerry Rice goes in motion, Montana drops back, looks in one spot, and then hits Taylor streaking to the back of the endzone. Sorry, Boomer, you don't get to go to Disneyland. Video here.

6. SB XLIII -- Santonio Holmes TipToe Catch. It took 20 years for somebody to top the Montana-Taylor hook up above, but this is the most dramatic score I can think of -- given the time, the length of the drive, Ben's ability to shake free, the pass into a ridiculous spot, and Holmes ability to simultaneously control the ball and tap his toes at the edge of the endzone. It wows me. Every time. Video here.

5. SB I -- Max McGhee's one handed catch. Legend has it that McGee was miserably hungover for this game. And I'd like to believe that. In a game the Packers really had to win, McGee made a spectacular grab of Bart Starr's pass, then took it for a touchdown, the first in Super Bowl history. I'm pretty sure I've seen video of him surreptitiously smoking a cigarette on the sidelines after this catch, which, again, makes me like him more. Funny thing is that McGee caught four passes all season. It's not as lovely as Tone's catch above, but it's pretty darned nice and, given the historical impact of this game, I have to put it in the Top 5. Video here.

4. SB XVII -- John Riggins' rips 4th and 1 run for 43 yard touchdown. I can picture exactly where I was sitting for this. It's strange, but this particular run just burned itself into my brain. Washingon trails the Fins 17-13 with 10:10 remaining. They are faced with 4th down and 1 yard to go at the Miami 43 yard line. Out of the I formation, the handoff goes to Riggins, who bounces outside behind one of the Hogs (don't remember which one), sheds a tackler and then runs the length of the field for the TD. Even without the video, I can picture Riggo just chugging down the sidelines. It was beautiful. Fortune favors the bold, indeed. Video here. (The Riggins run comes up around 1:35.)

3. SB XVIII -- Marcus Allen's 74 yard touchdown run. God, this seems like a long time ago, and I know for pure yardage, it has been surpassed by Willie Parker's 75 yard dash in XL. But for drama, for artistry, there's nothing like Allen's reversal of direction and run up the gut. Video here.(Just ignore Todd Christensen's blubbering.)

2. SB XLII -- David Tyree's helmet catch. Is there a bigger catch in Super Bowl history? Sure, Santonio Holmes' catch is more elegant, but none was more clutch, than Tyree clutching the ball to his helmet. While I'm no huge Eli Manning fan, his ability to pull away, with a Patriot hanging on his jersey, moving around in the pocket, ducking tacklers, and all of this against the unbeaten, unbeatable New England Patriots? This could easily be number one on the list. Video here.

1. SB XLIII -- James Harrison's 100 yard interception touchdown return. Talk about high drama. I am not alone in ranking this first and it's not because Harrison is a Steeler. It's because, holy hell, a pass rushing linebacker intercepted a pass, and ran 100 yards for a touchdown, with no time left in the half and his teammates blocking out 10 would be Arizona tacklers. Take that play away, and the Cardinals have one Lombardi trophy on display. It just doesn't get any better than this. Video here.

BONUS MOMENT: SB IX -- Dwight White's Safety Dance. Okay, this is a special, childhood favorite, on for sentimental reasons here because I'm a Steelers fan and Dwight White was the first player I recall thinking, "that's my guy." On a team of superstars, I just loved me some Mad Dog. It's personal and, I'm sure if I were a Broncos fan, John Elway's 'helicopter run' in XXXII would be in this spot. Point is, your mileage may vary. In SB IX, the whole backstory of White battling the flu and a raging fever spilled into the confluence of the Steelers defensive domination and the franchise's history of futility. Plus, I love safeties. For a person who loves defense, as I do, they are so very satisfying. The tall guy on the right is White celebrating and, if I close my eyes, I can see him making the safety signal in my head. This one play summed up the complete and total dominance of the Steelers D in their very first trip to the Super Bowl.

Performance Art, David Mamet and the AFC Championship Game

A long time ago, like back in the Neil O'Donnell era, I went to an evening of performance art at Mellon Park put together by this artsy guy who I kinda knew because he dated somebody I knew. I didn't much care for him. I thought he was pretentious and annoying because he was pretentious and annoying. Also, he wore purple. Lots and lots of purple all the time and I don't think I ever saw him when he wasn't wearing at least one article of purple clothing. He had a simply shocking propensity for purple. Not a dignified purple, like Northwestern or Minnesota Vikings purple, either. It was more like the shade of purple preferred by pre-pubescent little girls, the shade they would squeal with delight to find in a pen and then proceed to sign everything in purple and write on the fronts of their notebooks and stuff. That purple. He even wore purple socks. In the summer. With shorts and running shoes. (I am not making this up.)

But I started thinking about him, and this particular evening of performance art because the over-arching theme was time. It was made up of many different vignettes, some of which were more monologue and others more, em, performance artsy, if you know what I mean. And when one of them was finished, Mr. Purple would bang this little gong he was carrying around and call "Time!," only he did it in a really annoying way -- like, "TIIIMMMMMMMMEEE!" -- he really laid on that "M" and dragged it out. Then we'd all walk, like lemmings, to another spot in the park for another vignette.

I found myself thinking about Mr. Purple calling "TIIIMMMMMMMEEE" yesterday morning when I was reflecting on the Steelers-Jets game because it seems to me it was all about time, it was about the Steelers offense's ability to drain nearly all the time out of the first quarter and about the defenses's ability to make the Jets use more time than they wanted to down the stretch.

They opened the game with a 15 play, nine minute touchdown drive. Nine minutes is an insanely long time for the Steelers offense (any offense, really) to be on the field. The Jets offense must have felt helpless, just standing their on a freezing night, watching the slow, inexorable tour of destruction that was the Steelers offense at the start of the game. They were down by seven points, with one-sixth of the game gone before Mark Sanchez even touched the ball. It felt like that opening drive set the tone for the whole first half, that the Jets had been almost lulled into a coma by the first drive. In fact, the Jets held the ball for just 8:04 in the first half. TIIIMMMMMMEE!

After the Jets gamely fought back to make it a two score game, they took over near the end of the 3rd quarter on their own 13 yard line. Though they drove the length of Heinz Field, James Harrison et al. forced them to use 17 plays to do it, and chew up eight minutes of clock before Casey Hampton and Brett Keisel stoned LaDainian Tomlinson at the goal-line. This was a muther of a goal-line stand.

I realize that the Jets got a safety on the very next snap of the ball, and scored a touchdown on the ensuing drive. Of course. But think of it in terms of time. The Steelers forced them to use 12:38, almost a full quarter of the game, to score just nine points. TIIIMMMMMMEEE!

None of it works, mind you, if the Steelers offense cannot close them out.

In David Mamet's brilliant Glengarry Glen Ross, Blake tells the assembled sales team (selling what, I was never clear on) that they should:

"A-B-C. A-Always. B-Be. C-Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing."

QB rating be damned, Pig Ben is a closer. It may not be pretty and you may not be able to look at a stat sheet to see it, but he's got a killer instinct, an innate, uncanny ability to put a dagger in the other team's heart at just the right moment.

I've been critical of Bruce Arians from time to time (mostly, I just wish he'd take that little delayed handoff to Mewelde Moore and the reverse just out of his playbook. Out. Gone. Banished to the trash heap), but I have to applaud his play-calling at the end of the game, twice calling pass plays to pick up first downs when most other coaches would have just run the ball, punted and tried to pin the Jets deep. It doesn't look like much on the stats sheet:

2nd and 9 at PIT 42 B.Roethlisberger pass short right to H.Miller to NYJ 44 for 14 yards (A.Cromartie).

and

3rd and 6 at NYJ 40 (Shotgun) B.Roethlisberger pass short right to A.Brown pushed ob at NYJ 26 for 14 yards (E.Smith).

Just two relatively routine pass plays, but what those two plays really are is: "You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close!"

I love the calls. Of course, I love the calls because they worked. But lets face it, only a handful of coaches would do it, have the ability to to do it, because there aren't that many closers out there. Pig Ben has never thrown for a bigger 28 yards in his life.

It is a synergy of a quarterback who can make those kinds of plays and a coaching staff that trusts him to do just that. Always Be Closing. That was a closing.

"Fuck you. That's my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name."

Play big or go home. Once again, the Steelers are going to the Super Bowl. And they're not going in a Hyundai.

5 Reasons the Steelers Will Win the AFC Championship Game

These are the five most compelling reasons I can think of that the Steelers will win on Sunday and advance to the franchise's eighth Super Bowl appearance, in search of their seventh Super Bowl victory.

1. Pig Ben. Love him, hate him, think he should be incarcerated or wish to smash his face in with a cricket bat, it doesn't matter. The tremendously gifted Jets DB's will have to play an entirely different game this week than they have the past two weekends. Both Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are rhythm, timing quarterbacks who make tremendous pre-snap reads and can throw balls into tiny spaces. But both are pure pocket passers, neither of whom can do what #7 can do, which is break contain, break free of tackles and extend plays. The difference is not just Pig Ben, but the Steelers receivers, who have adapted to him, know what to do and where to go after that little alarm clock in their heads goes off that says, 'that big idiot is running around back there again -- get open!'

If you're the Jets, do you blitz a safety and risk Pig Ben escaping to find Wallace or Sanders in one on one coverage deep? Or find Miller underneath? Do you spy him? Do you rush three like the Ravens did and risk ending up on the wrong end of a 58 yard completion (which I'm sure is still burning up T-Sizzle.)

Pig Ben's critics always point to Brady, Manning, Brees and now, even Aaron Rogers as being much better than Roethlisberger, claiming that he's not in that class of elite quarterback. To that I say, piffle. You can have your fantasy stats and I'll take the guy who is built for the post-season, for the 4th quarter. Simply put, he is a big game quarterback. Plus, the forecast is for a windy evening at Heinz Field. Roethlisberger has proven than the can throw in the wind, but the verdict is still out on Jets pretty boy, Mark Sanchez.

2. James Harrison. Harrison is an unstoppable force, a class 5 hurricane, a tsunami lined up at linebacker. When the Steelers need something big, there's a good chance that #92 or #43 will provide that play. With Troy Polamalu having kind of an off week last week (due to injury, but still, he was off), Harrison (and Ryan Clark) filled that void. Reading through the official gamebook is like a Harrison highlight recitation: sack, tackle for loss, in coverage on an incompletion, pressure on the quarterback, sack. He is a game changer.

Like Pig Ben, he is a big game player. Earlier in the season, I heard some local radio talking head fielding questions about who was the Steelers MVP of the season. I think he was of the mind that it was Lawrence Timmons (although I could be remembering wrong) and Timmons would be a fine choice, as would Troy. But Harrison has once again dominated his side of the line of scrimmage and even changed the game as it is now played.What's amazing about all of that is that he had to adjust his game mid-stride to avoid penalties (both legit and ridiculous -- yes, I am looking at you Tony Corrente for the "falling on the qb with his full body weight" absurdity) and still be the dominant presence his teammates count on.

Sanchez may be calm and confident now, but he hasn't run into James Harrison lately, not the playoff version of James Harrison. Sanchez' current sang froid is subject to change.

3. Heeeeaaaaattttthhhhh. Yeah, that's right, Jets, the Steelers didn't have Heath Miller during that first meeting and instead, Pig Ben had to throw to Matt "Head of Granite and Hands to Match" Spaeth.

The underneath and middle routes, typically the domain of tight ends, were open enough that Pig Ben threw to Spaeth seven or eight times, even though Spaeth only managed to haul in three of those passes. Who knows? That game might have a different ending with Heath in there. Maybe he doesn't run interference on the 3rd down pass intended for Emmanuel Sanders in the back of the endzone? Maybe he makes the difficult catch in the endzone to win the game on 4th down? I'm not here to bury Spaeth; rather, I'm just making the point that those routes, the ones generally covered by a safety or linebacker, were open.

Whereas the greatness of the Jets corners is evident, the safeties, particularly in the absence of Jim Leonhard, can be exploited. This is a match up that favors the Steelers. Apparently in the last game, the Jets put Revis on Hines and Cromartie on Wallace, leaving either Eric Smith or Brodney Pool to cover the tight end. Certainly the Jets will have all kinds of new schemes, twists and stunts in store for the Steelers (Rex is no dummy), but the personnel is what the personnel is, and I like the Steelers' chances a whole lot better with Miller in the offensive arsenal.

4. Young Money Crew. Mike Wallace, Emmanuel Sanders and Antonio Brown make up the Young Money Crew and, per Sanders, he is Easy Money, Wallace is Fast Money and Brown is Quick Money, although I did hear an interview wherein Brown said he was Cash Money, which made me howl. Defenders, however, are not laughing. Not one bit.

In truth, there were legitimate questions about the Steelers wide receiving corps coming into this season. Wallace had a great rookie season, but how would he handle the attention paid to him with Holmes gone to New York? Ward, though a Hall of Famer, is getting older. We knew that the Steelers had three good passing options (including Miller), but after that it was a black hole of unknown.

Enter Brown and Sanders -- Mo' money, Mo' money, Mo' money!

Sanders, listed as third on the depth chart, contributed 28 receptions for 376 yards and two touchdowns, an unexpected bounty. He has shown that he is capable of stepping up his game on a big stage and none is bigger than this Sunday.

Brown didn't getting much playing time in the beginning and wasn't even dressed for a handful of games, but still he managed to contribute 16 receptions for 167, none more beautiful or important than the 58 yarder against the Ravens. (I don't know how fast Brown is, but it sure looked like he kicked it into another gear to gain separation as he passed Lardarius Webb.)

One more note about the addition of Brown. There has been some serious garment rending over the Steelers giving up Santonio Holmes for just a 5th round draft pick, but that draft pick was used to bring Bryant McFadden back and then go and get Brown. If you say Holmes for a 5th round pick, you say, we was robbed! But if you say Holmes for McFadden and Brown, it's a pretty good deal, particularly when you factor in salaries and such.

It is a particularly popular football cliche to say that you need a speed receiver to stretch the field and that, without one, it all turns to pain, misery and tears. That the Steelers can deploy three speedsters at one time gives them speed at the receiver position that is nothing short of an embarrassment of riches.

5. Brett Keisel. Ah, to sing the praises of the great unheralded one, he of the Nordic God-like beard, the man who, quietly mind you, took over as the anchor on the defensive line when Aaron Smith was lost for the season. Now, nobody other than Aaron Smith's family loves him more than I do. I was positively crestfallen when he was injured. But Keisel has stepped in and stepped up to not only anchor the line, but, it seems to me, to step into the leadership role that has always been Smith's.

His stats are good, but like any defensive lineman in a LeBeau scheme, they're not eye-popping. But if you're watching a replay of last week's game on the NFL Network just watch #99 for a series or two. Or do the same this week. The guy is always pushing the line back, or stringing out a running back so that Troy or Clark or Timmons can get there. He is an unseen playmaker, a virtual puppet master who allows other guys to get lots of camera time. When Keisel was out for a five game stretch, the Steelers went 3-2 and struggled to get by Buffalo. I think he's enough of an impact player that he might have altered the outcome against the Saints or made the Buffalo game a less cardiac arrest inducing affair.

The Jets did a nice job of keeping Mark Sanchez clean last week, but the Patriots don't have anybody on their defensive line who is anywhere near as good as Keisel. I'm hoping to see lots of Brett and his luxurious, multi-hued beard on Sunday night.

Bonus Reason -- The Terrible Towel. I hear tell yarns of Jets fans defiling the Terrible Towel, and worse yet, that some desecrations took place on the streets of this very hamlet, in the Strip District, no less. Not to go all Walter Sobchak on you, but we're talking about unchecked aggression here. And the Towel has drawn a line in the sand that you DO NOT CROSS.

Now, the legendary Myron Cope wrote in Double Yoi, "... I did not see the Terrible Towel as witchcraft to hex the enemy. It would be a positive force, driving the Steelers to superhuman performance ..." I'm not in direct contact with the Towel as Myron was, and do not know if the Towel will smite a team for the idiocy of that team's fans, but it is possible that these cretinous Jets fans have awakened the great might and power of the Towel. You know, I just don't know how to say this more clearly: Respect the Towel, bitches.

Can the Steelers Beat the Birdies in Baltimore?

I kinda think no.

It pains me to say that, but the injuries continue to mount for the Steelers and no matter how many times Coach Tomlin says 'the standard is the standard,' there is bound to be some drop off. You need all hands on deck, in fact you need your very best hands on deck if you want to beat a very good Ravens team in Baltimore.

First, the Steelers lost tackle Willie Colon. They brought in Hotel Flozell Adams and moved on. The standard, after all, is still the standard.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, down went Max Starks for the year, so Jonathan Scott is starting in his spot. But the standard is still the standard. Mmmm, okay. If you say so.

This offensive line would be suspect even with Starks and Colon, two guys who don't put anybody in mind of Anthony Munoz or Jackie Slater. Now they're starting Scott, who wasn't good enough to beat out the competition for the spot left open by Colon's injury, and Hotel, for whom there wasn't exactly a long line of suitors. So, an already mediocre line was made worse through injury. What was that about standards again?

That sub-standard line is expected to protect Pig Ben of the broken-not broken-sprained-um-scar-tissue-aggravated foot. The only reason that the Steelers have been able to get away with having a less than stellar O Line through much of this decade is because Pig Ben can create opportunities by moving around when the pocket collapses, as it inevitably does. But can he bail out his line, and his team, on one leg tonight? And with Haloti Ngata bearing down on him?

Ray Lewis isn't the dominant player that he was 10 years ago, but Ngata is a serious threat to both disrupt the running game and possibly actually kill Pig Ben. (Something that would make some of my friends happy, I think.) For my money, Ngata is the best player on that defense right now, with apologies to the great Ed Reed.

Now, I don't want to tell you where this thought has led me. Oh, okay. While Reed is still fantastic, always a threat to break a game open, the Baltimore corners are not so great and the Steelers best chance to beat the Ravens may be through the air, via long passes that take advantage of Mike Wallace or Emmanuel Sanders against Chris Carr or Josh Wilson. The problem is, can the Steelers O Line protect a gimpy Pig Ben long enough for Wallace or Sanders to come open deep?

The Ravens do not sack the quarterback prodigiously; they have only 19 sacks on the year (compared to the Steelers with 32), but then again, the Ravens have only gone up against the Steelers offensive line once this year. Given all the givens, I think we can safely expect to see Bruce Arians call pass play after pass play after pass play. He may be right to take that kind of a chance, try to get up early and fast because the Ravens play a kind of vanilla version of themselves when they are down or tied, but get much creative and aggressive when they have a lead.

Even though I understand the reasoning, the idea of a pass-wacky Bruce Arians makes me kinda queasy.

On the other side of the ball, the injuries are an issue, too. We all know how different that Steelers defense is without Aaron Smith, but it's no use crying over torn triceps muscles. The fact of the matter remains that the combination of Ziggy Hood and Nick Eason are no replacement for Smith and Brett Keisel, but it looks like Keisel will be back tonight and that should give the defensive line a big lift. It also frees up Hood and Eason to just rotate in Smith's old spot.

Maybe it even means that the Steelers can get to Joe "Unibrow Spokesmodel" Flacco. Flacco doesn't throw a lot of picks - he has eight in 11 games - and his new toys, Anquan Boldin and T.J. Whoseyourmamma, have developed a good working relationship with him, so Ike Taylor, B-Mac and William Gay have to put the clamps on Boldin and Whoseyourmamma, to say nothing of Derrick Mason who always seems to save his best for the Steelers. And they have to contain Todd Heap, too.The best chance the Steelers have to contain all of the aerial weapons the Ravens have (still feels weird to type that in relation to this team) is to pile more sacks on top of their already impressive sack total. LaMarr Woodley and James Harrison have to find a way to get free from holds (and they will be held) to make Flacco throw the ball away, hurry his throws, and generally get his uniform dirty.

Harrison, already feeling unfairly besieged by the league, has to find a way to keep his head in the game, without leading with his head; he has to remain calm no matter how bad the holds (and they will happen) or penalties. If an official wants to call a bullshit penalty like the one for landing on Jason Campbell, there's nothing he can do about that. But he can drive through with his shoulder and not the crown of his helmet. Then he just has to hold his breathe and hope for the best. Do it like this James, like this:That's a tall order for a man whose entire game is predicated on hitting harder than anybody else in the league and who feeds off seemingly congenital, unwavering enmity. But he has to do it.

That's a tall order for the team as a whole. I am not hopeful. But I'm usually wrong! any time I try to predict the outcome of a Steelers game. At least that's one thing that bodes well for Pittsburgh.

Waiting for Goodell [A play in one act]

I'm not a playwrigt, but I play one on the internet. Here is my dramatic re-enactment of the NFL denying the appeals of James Harrison:

"Excuse me sir, would it please the, er, court, I'd like to appeal these fines."

"Yes. Yes. Appeal. Well, get on with it."

"Well, hey, wait a minute. Aren't you the guy who levied these fines to begin with?"

(Silence. And glowering. Lots of glowering.)

"Ahem, okay, so you see, when I hit Drew Brees, I was flying towards him. I was fighting off a block and I was going at full throttle. It was a bang-bang play. And, you know, I get paid to go after the quarterback more or less."

(More silence and glowering.)

"I didn't hit him high and I didn't hit him low. And yeah, I guess my helmet hit him, but, you know I was leading with my shoulder and my head is right next to my shoulder and all ... So, well, I guess that's the basis of my appeal for that hit."

"Yes. I see. Denied. Next!"

"Just like that?"

"Do you dare to question the Great and Mighty Goodell!" (puffs of green smoke and sound effects follow.) "Well!?"

"No. I, ah, well, I guess not. So on this hit on Mohamed Massaquoi, you see, I know it looks bad. I really do. And he had to leave and game and stuff. I know that you're trying to protect players and I can no longer hit like that now, you know just explode into a receiver. I get that. You guys changed the rules and stuff, so I've really been trying not to do that. But, you see, the rules weren't really in effect when this fine was meted out, so I was hoping that through like a grandfather clause or something ..."

"Denied! The rules didn't change! I've told you and Suzy Kolber that a thousand million times! The rules didn't change! The rules didn't change!"

(More glowering.)

"Of course not. But, how about a reduction. After all, you've fined guys much less money for much more egregious post-whistle incidents and I was just playing hard, snap to whis ..."

"Are you accusing me of bias? Do you not think I am impartially looking out for the health of the league?"

(Harrison just looks down and shuffles feet.)

"Mr. Harrison, I am simply looking out for the welfare of the players. I am the Commissioner who cares about player safety. Don't you get that?"

"I do. Really. I do. I appreciate it. But you know, it's going to be way more dangerous to play 18 games than 16 ..."

"Get out of here! And never darken my door again!"

(Harrison exits. Goodell turns to a toady lurking in the background)

"Can we fine him for something this week?"

The end.

Or, while I stupidly spent time crafting a nuanced one act play, DJ Gallo summed it up with this picture.

The Disingenuous Debate Over Player Safety

The Pittsburgh Steelers, like every NFL team, have suffered a huge number of injuries already, just through eight games on the season. Some of these players returned to the field, but others are lost for the season, and all of the players listed below have missed playing time and shown up on the injury report for one reason or another:

Byron Leftwich, Chris Kemeoatu, Arnez Battle, Bryant McFadden, Dennis Dixon (gone for the year), Heath Miller, Flozell Adams, Maurkice Pouncey, Max Starks (gone for the year), Trai Essex, Aaron Smith (likely gone for the year), Chris Hoke, Brett Keisel, LaMarr Woodley, Mewelde Moore, Issac Redman and Will Allen (these last last three suffered concussions, just fyi.)

Meanwhile, Judge Dread talks convincingly of player safety. The League cares. He cares. Deeply, you see. So deeply that the fines just keep on coming for unsafe player hits because, you know, at the NFL's HQ on Madison Avenue they care about nothing more than player safety.

The fines are so numerous that it's hard to list them all. The highlights, the most talked about fines were the ones to Pittsburgh's James Harrison, New England's Brandon Meriweather, Atlanta's Dunta Robinson and Green Bay's Nick Collins.

But on any given week, you can check in with ESPN's Adam Schefter for a rundown of the fines because there are tons that do not get much airplay. This is from Schefter's column from just one single week in the NFL:

"Defensive lineman Myron Pryor has been fined $7,500 for a fourth-quarter hit that opened a cut on Favre's chin. ...

Patriots linebacker Gary Guyton was also fined $7,500 for his first-quarter hit on Favre in last Sunday's 28-18 win. ...

Pittsburgh linebacker James Harrison was fined $20,000 for a late hit on Saints quarterback Drew Brees ...

Tennessee defensive end Jason Babin was fined $20,000 for roughing San Diego QB Philip Rivers when he unnecessarily struck Rivers in the knee area ...

Two San Francisco 49ers linebackers were fined for hits on Denver quarterback Kyle Orton in the 49ers' win last Sunday at London. ...

Manny Lawson was docked $12,500 for roughing the passer, using his helmet to hit Orton in the chest. ...

Ahmad Brooks loses $10,000 for striking Orton in the head and neck area. ...

Seahawks defensive end Chris Clemons was fined $7,500 for a late hit on Raiders quarterback Jason Campbell. ...

Two Raiders also were fined, including guard Robert Gallery for a late hit on Clemons that cost him $7,500. Rookie linebacker Rolando McClain was hit for a $7,500 fine for grabbing Seahawks running back Justin Forsett by the helmet in an attempt to tackle him."

I'm sure the NFL charities do good work, and I know that, at least for some of these players, a $25,000 fine is the equivalent of a $25 parking ticket for you or me. So I'm not crying poor on behalf of the players, but ...

It seems to me that the players fines and all the talk of possibly suspending players for the most egregious, dangerous hits, has much in common with the the green curtain, spooky lights, amplified voice, smoke and steam in the Wizard of Oz: simply, effects meant to distract Dorothy and her comrades so they wouldn't notice the little man behind the curtain. Don't look there. Look here!

Judge Dread has beautifully positioned himself as Clara Barton and the players as the bad guys. See, he cares about player safety, while the players themselves do not. James Harrison, Roy Williams, even saintly Troy Polamalu have aired grievances about the way fines are meted out and handled. It makes them seem as though they don't care about their own safety or that of other players.

[And, as concerns closed head injuries, there is some truth to this. Football players at all levels still minimize the after-shocks of concussions. I very recently talked to a high school football player who was severely concussed in a game. It was a scary concussion -- the kid was out cold for a good while. The team trainer declared him ineligible to play the last five games of the season, knowing that if she left it up to the player himself, he would have gone back out there the very next week. It's no different at higher levels of NCAA football or the NFL. This is just how players think.]

But yet, does the league care about player safety? Or is all the talk of fines meant to distract us from the obvious disregard for the safety of the workforce not named Manning or Brady?

I am the Great and Mighty Oz and I am fining Nick Collins! [Pay no attention to the fait accompli (and obvious danger to the NFL's workforce) of the 18 game season that the owners want so much.]

The Great and Mighty Oz has declared James Harrison the greatest danger to player safety since the flying wedge was outlawed! [Pay no attention to Thursday night games that requires players to play games after just three days rest.]

Nothing makes the players more unsafe than a lack of preparation and recuperation time. Nothing could add more danger than adding two additional and completely unnecessary regular season games. These moves are more dangerous than the Nick Collins, Dunta Robinson, James Harrison and Brandon Meriweather hits combined. If not more dangerous, then at least as dangerous.

I think it was a Tennesse Williams character who cried, "Mendacity!" Or maybe it was Ray Lewis. (It's so rare that I find myself in complete and total agreement with the elder Ravens linebacker, and yet, on this one, Ray Ray and I are simpatico.)

So long as the NFL continues the disgusting money grab of Thursday night football (prime time football means mad bling for the owners) and the even more disgusting money grab of adding two more games to the regular season schedule, they cannot in good conscience claim to care about player safety.

They only care about the appearance of caring about player safety. Actual player safety? Not so much.

Big Easy Looks to Be Anything But for the Steelers

I'm worried about the Steelers tonight. I think the Saints are a tough test because the 2010 Saints look a lot to me like the 2009 Steelers, which is to say, they get up, way up for good teams, and play like ass against bad teams. The Steelers went out and beat the juggernaut unbeaten Vikings, then went to Denver (the Broncos were 6-1 at the time) and smoked them. What could go wrong with cellar dwellers like KC, Cleveland and Oakland looming? The Steelers playing to the competition.

And so it is with the Saints. A loss to Arizona. A loss to the Browns. But, oh ho, the Steelers are in town this week. The 5-1 Steelers. Winners of the Super Bowl before the New Orleans Super Bowl. You think they're gonna be up for this? Because I do. If Drew Brees is ever going to pull out the 2009 version of himself, Halloween Night, in the Dome, against the Pittsburgh Steelers is the night to do that.

When I look at it really hard, if they are going to drop a game, this is a good one to drop. It's a road game against an out of conference opponent. As good as this Steelers team is, they are not going 15-1. From this game in Nawlins, they go to Cincy, then home to play the always scary Patriots, then the resurgent Raiders, before they get the Bills. So in this four game stretch, if they have to drop one, this is the one to drop. Also, I don't hate the Saints, I like Saints fans, and I absolutely adore the City of New Orleans, the greatest American city for my money.

Still, I won't be able to carry that kind of equanimity through the game. I just know it.

In the meantime, if you want to read a good story about James Harrison, check out Judy Battista's story in the New York Times. When Battista first started the Steelers beat for the NYT, I wasn't a fan. But she's been at it for a couple of years now, and she does great coverage of the Steelers.

The Sunday Recipe has moved over to Rub Some Dirt in It at OpenSalon. This week, it's spaghetti sauce that's better than your mom's sauce. Unless your mom is Lidia Bastianich.

The Three Greatest Linebackers in Steelers History: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

With all the talk of James Harrison's fine, James Harrison's physicality, James Harrison's retirement, why the boys and I got to considering the greatest linebackers of all time, right here at Linebacker Central, a/k/a, Pittsburgh, Pa. Without further delay, the three greatest linebackers in Steelers history, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

The Good: Jack Ham. Always in position. ALWAYS. IN. POSITION. It's almost freakish. He had perfect tackling form and took a good angle on the ball carrier every time. He was not flashy, nor was he intimidating off the field, but he really was a nearly perfect linebacker. There has never been another like Dobre Shunka (the Great Ham.)

The Bad: James Harrison. Coulda been Super Bowl XLIII MVP. The man blows up tackles who outweigh him by 50 to 70 pounds, who has more fines than any other Steeler and, I would point out, who is held on nearly every single play because he's just such a freak. There are very few players in the NFL who have hit with as much force as Silverback. He scares me.

The Ugly: Jack Lambert. The sneer. The complete and total contempt for opponents. It was palpable even through the cathode ray tube. He was the man who once punched a Cleveland Browns player on the sidelines (he had it coming, believe you me) and tossed Cliff Harris to the turf after Harris taunted Roy Gerela in SB X. The Steelers draft report on him described him as having, "a lust for contact."


It's certainly open for discussion, the greatest three. But who would fill out the top five? Where does Gregg Lloyd fit into this?

NHL Player Loses Mind, Attacks Fan

I'm all for fans getting whatever comes their way if they set foot on the playing surface, whether it be the ice, the court, the diamond or the gridiron.

Tazing that idiot fan who ran onto the field of a Phillies game? I'm for it. In fact, I think they should hire sharpshooters and equip them with high powered rifles; if a fan steps on to the field, give them free license to fire away.




When a Cleveland Browns fan ran on the field in 2005, James Harrison took him down. It was totally deserved. Run on the field, you risk running into Silverback. Enter at your own risk.



But Rick Rypien of the Vancouver Canucks is a cementhead and a punk. During a game against the Minnesota Wild on Tuesday night, on his way down the ramp to the locker room, Rypien grabbed a fan in the stands. Here's the video of Rypien reaching over and grabbing the fan.

Hockey tolerates a lot of stuff. Fighting and tussling is tolerated. Love it or hate it, it is part of hockey culture.

But going after a fan? That's Hansen brothers stuff.

The fan in question was just clapping and claims that he said something along the lines of, 'way to be professional.' It was probably a little stronger than that, probably laced with some adult language, but the guy was where he was supposed to be and it's not like he tossed a key chain (or tire iron) at Rypien. If the fan called Rypien out for being unprofessional, looks like it was a dead accurate comment.

Some have called for Rypien to be suspended 20 games. That would be fine by me. But might I suggest they taze him? And then have James Harrison take him down.

NFL Addresses Head Injuries

I spent the morning debating the nature of helmet to helmet hits with my merry band of ne'er do wells. It's a tough thing. I love the hard hitting element of the game. I love the speed. I love big collisions. But ...

Any time I see a player face down on the field, lifeless, it makes me sick deep in the pit of my stomach. Something has to be done, because somebody's going to end up dead.

So, I posted about it at my other blog, Rub Some Dirt In It.

Pig Ben Sparks the Offense Over the Browns

Sometimes erratic, sometimes reckless, and sometimes positively breathtaking, Pittsburgh's Pig Ben Roethlisberger returned, turning a pedestrian offense into an explosive one, making throws of 50 yards to both Mike Wallace and Heath Miller, and tossing a beauty of an over the shoulder pass to Miller to sock the game away. Other times, he strangely overshot receivers and threw an ugly interception on the first drive, but all things considered, it was about as good as anybody could expect and better than most predicted. There were times when he was vintage Ben and good enough that his QB rating was a lofty 112.7. So, there's that.

Bruce Arians called a great game and I so rarely say anything nice about BA that I'd like to go on record saying that I thought he had one of his best games in recent memory. He was aggressive without being greedy, daring without being hasty or thoughtless. He didn't get away from the run, even when the Browns were bottling it up; he called plays that allowed Pig Ben to hit six different receivers. 27 passes and 35 runs on the day and that strikes me as a really nice balance.

Rashard Mendenhall turned in another impressive game, running with power, stiff arming defenders, sticking his head into tight spots, and hanging onto the ball. Issac Redman added 31 yards, each of them hard fought and well-earned. The line, despite shuttling in players as Doug Legursky and Chris Kemoeatu were injured (both returned), did a really solid job up front and it looked like Maurkice Pouncey had a real bounce back game after struggling a bit against the Ravens.I want to give a big shout out to Flozell Adams here. He wasn't flagged all day and that has to be a first in his career. Plus, he positively clothes-lined Cleveland DB Joe Haden as he rumbled back and forth across the field after picking off Pig Ben. The Hotel is 35 years old and the Steelers list him at six feet, seven inches and 338 pounds. He was the only Steelers player who was able to run from one sideline to the middle of the field, probably covering more than 70 some yards, to take down a speedy, elusive corner. Seriously? That might have been the most impressive thing I saw all day.

On the other side of the ball, the Great Troy was quiet, but James Harrison seemed to make a point of trying to be a one man tour of destruction, sending both Josh Cribbs and Mohamed Massaquoi to the locker room in the first half. And Lawrence Timmons turned in another monster performance and was a large part of the reason that the Steelers were able to hold Peyton Hillis to just 41 yards rushing on they day.

As to the opposition, I think the best things to have happened in Cleveland in a long time may have been the injuries to Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace. I thought Colt McCoy played with a tremendous amount of poise, no matter how many times Harrison, Timmons and Lamarr Woodley hammered him and lord knows the kid is accurate when he has time.

Oh, and congrats to Hines Ward, who turned in a very Hines Wardian day -- five receptions for 54 yards and a head-shaking, tackle breaking touchdown. He is now tied for fourth on the all-time list for most consecutive games with a reception at 164. Just who are these people who don't think he's a Hall of Famer?

What Can Chaz Do for You

Back in 2006, I was traveling in New York over Thanksgiving weekend and I wasn't going to be back in Pittsburgh until Monday, which meant - horror - I would miss the Steelers v. Ravens game. Fortunately, a friend recommended NYC's finest Steelers bar - Scruffy Duffy's in Hell's Kitchen. (Sadly, it closed a couple of years ago, because it was an awesome joint.) I got there early. Early enough to grab a coffee and wander the neighborhood before heading in and settling right behind a fellow with a #35 Dan Kreider jersey on. Dan Kreider! I had to talk to this guy. His name was Harold and he had grown up, if memory serves, in Baldwin.

It turned out that meeting Harold was the highlight of my day: the Ravens defense swarmed, smelling blood in the water, and then Bart Scott almost killed Pig Ben, who wasn't Pig Ben then, just Ben, the idiot who drove his motorcycle around town sans helmet and had half is brains spilled out on 2nd Avenue.

He lay there lifeless on the Baltimore turf and for a moment, honestly, I thought Roethlisberger was dead. The entire bar paused but then Ben twitched or something and Harold, god bless his Dan Kreider loving heart, started a Charlie Batch chant -- like "Over! Rated!" during college basketball games, only "Charlie! Batch!" A great noise grew up in the bar and somehow, despite the score and despite the fact that the Ravens were unequivocally the better team that day, and that it was the season in which Bill Cowher mailed it in, and the Bus was gone, and there was a clear Super Bowl hangover, we felt soothed by the ritual of chanting Charlie's name.

None of which is to say that I want Chaz Batch leading my team for a full 16 game season.
But Charlie is strangely calming, steady. He's like the relative you trust to watch your kids in an emergency situation. No, the kids won't get their homework done. And yes, they'll probably end up eating foods that you wouldn't let them have. But when the emergency is passed, he'll hand the kids back to you, none the worse for wear, safe and sound, and maybe even a little happy from eating treats they don't get at home.

Maybe that's enough. Some Oreos, some television, make sure nobody swallows a tennis ball or puts a screwdriver in a socket. Charlie's job, as I see it, is simply not taking the killer sack a killer moment, throwing the ball into the ground rather than in an area where it can be picked off, just keeping the huddle warm and organized. He doesn't have to be McGyver, just my aunt Florence.

The question really is -- what can the rest of the team do around Charlie/Aunt Florence for the next two weeks?

Most years, I would be happy if the Steelers special teams were just indifferent, not a plus but NOT a minus. Funny how terrible play lowers expectations. But this year, even with Skippy's easy miss in the waning seconds of regulation versus the Falcons, the special teams have been a decided plus, evidenced by the gutsy call in Tennessee to run the reverse to Antonio Brown on the opening kickoff. Sepulveda has been booming the ball, so he can get them out of field position jams; Skippy was money against the Titans and has even kicked off into the endzone four times; and Stevenson Sylvester is a one man crushing machine on return coverage.

Meanwhile, I have to hand it to the offensive line. It wasn't pretty last week. Not by a long shot. This is the unit I consider to be the weakest on the team even at full strength, but with Max Starks out, Trai Essex going down, and players dropping in the heat, they managed to hang in there. Jonathan Scott jumped back and forth from left tackle (where he was starting in place of Starks) to right tackle, to spell Hotel in the 2nd half. Tony Hills came in at came in at left tackle when Scott moved. Essex went down and Doug Legursky came in for him. Guys got beat. There were pre-snap penalties. There wasn't much room for Rashard Mendenhall and not much more time for Chaz, but given that the only player on the line who played every offensive snap and who stayed in one position the whole time was Maurkice Pouncey, it's remarkable that the line was able to hang tough against a very good Tennessee defense. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be happy with the line allowing four sacks, but given all the givens, I'd say four sacks was a win.

Things should be a wee bit easier this week. Tampa's defense is not the defense of the Tony Dungy glory days. Against offensive juggernauts like Cleveland and Carolina, the Bucs have given up a total of 618 yards of offense.

But really, with these guys playing defense, I think the Steelers offense doesn't have to do much at all anyway.

Lawrence Timmons is everywhere. He's second in the league in tackles with 24 and more than that, he's been in perfect position and shown great form and discipline. Late in the Titans game, it looked like Chris Johnson had a lane. Timmons not only came from nowhere to close that lane, he made a perfect Jack Ham tackle. If you're a linebacker, and you play in Pittsburgh, being favorably compared to Ham is the greatest compliment I can dole out.

James Harrison is on a mission to destroy all in his path. Silverback is always a good player, but we've seen him do this before, elevate his game and his intensity when the Steelers need it most.

Aaron Smith is playing run defense better than any other d-lineman in the league. That's right -- better than any other defensive lineman out there.

Troy Polamalu is simply transcendent.

The concern I have is if the Steelers defense can repeat what they've done in the first two weeks. It looked like a MASH unit in Tennessee. So I hope that Mike Tomlin and Dick LeBeau have given these guys what they need most - rest. They know what they're doing. They understand the LeBeau defensive schemes. They need some down time - physically and mentally - to get ready for Tampa. Maybe some Oreos and time in front of the television. At Charlie's house.

The Steelers Beat Living Hell Out of the Titans -- Nobody Arrested.

There are statements.

"I once had a farm in Africa" is a statement.

"Excuse me, sir, I believe you are holding my pet warthog," is another kind of statement.

"Mission Accomplished," is an entirely different kind of statement.

But memorable as those may be, none compares to the kind of statement the Steelers defense issued on a hundred degree day in Nashville, Tennessee. I can't really put it into words because it's not that kind of statement. It's more of a visceral kind of statement, the kind you feel in your bones, in your bone marrow, really. If I may translate, I think it goes something along the lines of:
"Any man I see out there, I'm gonna kill him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, his dog, and burn his damn house down.
Sincerely,
James Harrison and Troy Polamalu"

Or something like that.

Seven turnovers. Two forced by Harrison. One huge endzone interception by Troy.

The best running back in the NFL held to 34 yards on 16 carries.

Vince Young. Benched.

They did it with no help from the offense, with the quarterback listed FOURTH on the depth chart holding down the fort, and a decimated offensive line. They did it with players going down to injury, heat exhaustion and general attrition. And yet, they were completely and totally dominant every moment they were on the field (except when they went to that silly PREvent defense.)

Steelers Defense to NFL:

Reports of our demise have been greatly exaggerated. Consider this our one and only notice. You have officially been served. It is on, bitches.

More later.

Smiley Says, Joe Flacco Just Threw Up A Little Bit

From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

"The Steelers have signed linebacker James Harrrison to a new contract that will pay him $51.175 million over the next six years.

Harrison, the NFL's 2008 defensive player of the year, will receive $20 million in bonus money."

Next time Harrison hits Flacco, he'll hit him so hard, it'll wipe that unibrow off Flacco's face.