Could I have been remiss once again?

Yes, I could have and have been.

I've been forgetting to pander!

You might think, a blogger would no more forget to pander than a fish would forget to breathe! But it's not quite as second nature as it looks to the untrained eye.

For example, the last time I posted a picture of Indira Varma was Christmas, and it's the end of June.

I'm going to lose standing in the Creepy Internet Stalker Guild if I keep up this kind of lax performance.

And what about giant women, Matty Boy? Don't you realize that many of your readers are actually Your People who share your bizarre Agenda?

Yes, hypothetical question asker, I know My People read my blog. I am also aware that I haven't posted a giant woman picture since last February, which means two giantess posts in 2011 so far, compared to nine in all of 2010.

Gracious me, I don't know where the time goes. My heartfelt apologies to fans of pandering everywhere.

Pouring cold water on this whole giant planet in our neck of the woods thang.

So Tuesday, I was like all excited about this idea that there was a massive planet relatively close to us called Tyche. When I say "relatively", I mean that it's relatively close by astronomical standards, which means about a quarter of a light year away.


Even big objects like the Sun and Tyche have next to no gravitational pull at those kinds of distances, so there's no way Tyche is "orbiting" the Sun or vice versa. It would take the fastest spaceship we can build many decades to get there and the journey would definitely be risky.

My more science-y pal Ken Rose sent me a link that says it's pretty damned unlikely Tyche is actually hanging out in the Oort Cloud. Even the Oort Cloud itself is just a "probably exists" kind of thing.

Boy am I bummed.


From what I can tell, there are some astrophysicists who like the idea of giant planets as much as Matty Boy likes the idea of giant women.

Which means they like the idea A LOT!!!!!

I feel for these guys in some odd kinship, and I understand how they could sell some folks in the media on the idea of some exciting unexpected magical thing, kind of like an astronomical version of Bigfoot or the chupcabra.

p.s. If anyone knows this girl's cell phone number, do a brother a favor and hook us up.

A disturbing realization.

My mom was very pretty. She modeled before she got married. I wish I could find one of the more glamorous pictures of her, but I'm not sure who has one. This picture will do the trick. If you can take your eyes off her very fine stems for a moment, you'll see she had a long elegant nose and high cheekbones. When she was young, people often compared her to Joanne Woodward. Other actresses who look like her include Cloris Leachman, and if we go a generation younger, Meryl Streep.

Mom was pretty. So far, so good.

Consider the women whose pictures I put up when lazy blogging. First among equals is Indira Varma and her nigh perfect collarbone. If our eyes stray upward, we might notice she has a long elegant nose and high cheekbones.

Of course, my mom had a light complexion and blond hair, while Ms. Varma is much darker.

Still. Hmm.

Then we have Julie Newmar. If I put up a picture featuring her spectacular gams, many people might never get around to looking at her face.

Long elegant nose.

High cheekbones.

Pattern emerging.

Melissa Theuriau. There's nobody like Melissa Theuriau. Her eyes are actually gold not brown. I don't think I've ever seen eyes her color anywhere else except on some felines. She is impossibly angelic.

Okay, okay, she has a long elegant nose and high cheekbones.

Hey, Matty Boy? Wasn't The Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman the first time you felt those funny feelings? Allison Hayes was quite the looker, wasn't she? If you can take your eyes off her obvious charms, doesn't she have kind of a long elegant nose and high cheekbones?

Those are many good questions, hypothetical question asker. Let me give them all one well-considered answer.

Shut up.

Interrupting Liberal Victory week to celebrate my dirty old manhood.

More on the victories won by the liberal agenda over the past fifty years tomorrow. Let's instead focus on women with attractive faces and amazingly large breasts.

I knew that would get your attention.

The Huffington Post is absolutely obsessed with Christina Hendricks, the very busty redheaded actress who plays the office manager Joan Holloway Harris on the AMC show Mad Men, but they are not the only website happy to talk about her. Popeater.com ran a poll asking women of they would rather look like Ms. Hendricks or famously thin model Kate Moss, and also asked men who they would rather ogle. While the results are completely non-scientific, women preferred the voluptuary over the mannequin by a ratio of 3 to 1, while men would rather look at Christina instead of Kate by a margin of 5 to 1.

The obvious problem with this poll is the false dichotomy. Ms. Hendricks is naturally busty and weighs a lot more than the average actress today, but she is reality. Kate Moss is also reality, a very thin girl who has nearly no breasts. The choice presented today is between reality and fantasy. The other choice is some woman liposucked to within an inch of her life while she carries five pounds of plastic gel packs on her chest. The silly standard today is the unreality of Playboy models and Carrie Prejean, and I only hope the backlash against them continues.

As for Christina vs. Kate, I find myself in the vast majority. Besides her astounding body, Ms. Hendricks has the face of an angel and a voice that can turn a grown man's knees into melted butter.

I mean this only in the nicest possible way.


It was nearly three years ago I wrote a blog post about Joy Harmon, a 1960s starlet who is the main attraction in Village of the Giants, a movie of deep significance to My People in furtherance of Our Agenda. Ms. Harmon had a facial structure like Julie Christie's, with big beautiful wide set blue eyes and a luscious mouth, but Joy was also one of those big busted blondes in the style of Mamie Van Doren and June Wilkinson. In the dance scene from Village of the Giants, the camera spends a lot of time with her breasts and torso in the middle of the frame, and I have never heard one negative comment from a fan of giant women about the extra pounds she was carrying by today's standards.

I'm glad to see people openly praise Christina Hendricks for standing against the trend of crazy thinness in the entertainment industry today, but she shouldn't be turned into the new standard that must be met. Not one in a hundred women are going to be built like Christina or Joy in their respective primes, and women who aren't so naturally endowed but want to be end up looking like strippers or more specifically, like Pamela Anderson and Heidi Montag. If something positive can happen from this swing back on the pendulum, someone somewhere will remember that our mammalian brains equate a healthy softness in young women with fertility, which is kind of the whole evolutionary point, if memory serves.

Lazy blogging on a Tuesday.

Work during the summer session is a little hectic on Mondays through Thursdays, and my blogging output has been curtailed somewhat for the past six weeks. This is the last of the six weeks, so my free time opens up a LOT in a few days. I put forward this example of lazy blogging in the meantime.

Times Square Billboard by Space150 from Cliff Kuang on Vimeo.

A Vimeo user named Cliff Kuang posted this video of an ad for the Forever21 clothing line that runs on a billboard in Times Square. A smiling giantess towers over the crowd at her feet, takes a Polaroid from her bird's eye view and shows it to the camera, or she picks up someone from the crowd. There are several versions and they repeat on a loop. The special effects aren't the absolute state of the art, but you'll see that a lot of people stop to watch and record it on their cell phone cameras. It's a clever ad.

A nice little gift for My People, advancing Our Agenda.

Final score for Random 10, 6/4/10: Tom Waits 3, Elvis Costello 2

Way Down In The Hole Blind Boys Of Alabama
Here's To The Ladies Who Lunch Barbara Walsh
Rocking Horse Road Elvis Costello
Take It With Me Anne Sofie Von Otter
Is It A Crime? Sade
So It Goes Nick Lowe
Bad Connection Yaz
Georgia Lee Tom Waits
I Got The Feelin' James Brown
Whole Wide World Wreckless Eric

Usually, I consider the Random 10 an exhibition and not a competition (please, no wagering). At most, I have small competitions between the decades or the centuries (there are four recordings here from the 21st Century, by the way), but this week we have three songs written by Tom Waits (#1, #4 and #8, naturally), while Elvis writes and sings #3 and produces #4.

There are other ways some of the other artists might proclaim the "win" this week.

Nick Lowe: "Does anyone else wear a shiny green Riddler jacket?" No, Nick, you have a point.
James Brown: "Does anyone else got the feelin' like Mr. James Brown?" No, Mr. Brown, nobody else.
Wreckless Eric: "Would anyone else go the whole wide world just to find her?" Another excellent argument.



But since it's my blog, I'm going to hand a surprise victory to Sade for the lyric for My People And Our Agenda,

My love is taller, taller than the Empire State,
My love is wider, wider than Victoria Lake...

Sometimes, it's good to be the umpire.

Frank Frazetta, 1928-2010

Frank Frazetta, the most influential American illustrator of the late 20th Century after Norman Rockwell, has died at the age of 82. Here is a link to the New York Times obituary .

Frazetta was a remarkable athlete when he was young and hoped to play major league baseball, and had a tryout with the New York Giants. But it was as an illustrator that he excelled even more, and he worked in New York early in his career connected to many famous publications. He was a ghost illustrator for Al Capp for years, and it is his work that define the signature seductive drawings of Daisy Mae and Moonbeam McSwine in the Li'l Abner cartoons of the 1950's. He also worked at MAD magazine during that era, but his greatest successes came in the late 1960's when he began to draw movie posters and paintings that would become the covers for fantasy paperbacks. Most famously, his covers in the 1960's helped introduce a new generation of readers to the work of a writer of pulp fiction from Texas who died young back in the 1930's, Robert E. Howard and his major creation, a barbarian from the fictional land of Cimmeria named Conan. His artwork also helped revive a character of Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Carter, Warlord of Mars.

Frazetta covers became much in demand, and Frank had the good sense to make sure he owned the rights to the original paintings, many of which have sold for princely sums in recent years. A stroke took his good right hand from him a few years back, and determined athlete that he was, Frazetta learned to paint with his left hand. The later work is virtually indistinguishable from the work of his glory days. As he said, it was the same eye and the same brain doing the work, only the hand had changed.



I have not published much in the way of nude art on this blog, and I don't plan to make a habit of it, but an artist like Frank Frazetta passes this way only once, and in honor of him I put up this illustration of his that appeared in a men's magazine back in the 1950's, his visual interpretation of Charles Baudelaire's poem The Giantess from his book The Flowers of Evil. Longtime readers will recall I did the lolz giantess version of the same work.

Best wishes to the family and friends of the great Frank Frazetta, from a fan.

There will never be another like him.

Free speech gives me a headache sometimes.

I published this picture earlier this week and wrote the tagline "She'll probably step on you if you sass back."

Joke.

Also, completely impossible situation. Giant women do not exist ergo, giant women cannot step on you and crush you.

My People are not all the same. There are a lot of different sub-interests. I know from going to the websites devoted to this stuff that some guys like the idea of being eaten alive or crushed under foot. It's not my particular brand, but again, it's a fantasy that has to remain a fantasy due to annoying stuff like physics and physiology. I know that there are people who sell videos of women stepping on grapes or eating Gummi bears and pretending they are torturing tiny men instead. The video for the song Miserable by Lit ends with a giant Pam Anderson eating all the tiny band members. It was played for laughs and of course, it was all special effects.

Fantasy. Nobody hurt. Not my cup of tea, but live and let live.

Sadly, tragically, for some people this is not enough. There are videos available on the Internet of women in high heels killing small animals by crushing them. Many of them are made in Japan. Sometimes it's mice killed. In the video this still is taken from, a kitten is killed.

Let me be clear. I am appalled. Like any right thinking individual, I find this extremely disgusting. If I it was in my power to throw some people off the list of My People, any crush fan that buys a video where any animal is killed would be banned for life, but I'm just an unofficial spokesperson and not an absolute monarch.

When authorities found out about this, they acted responsibly and banned such videos from being sold on the grounds of animal cruelty. I hate the term "common sense", but it's obvious it applies here. Killing small defenseless animals for other people's sexual gratification is a mode of commerce that localities should be able to ban. The sexual gratification part makes it a hot button issue, but the criminal part is the animal cruelty. No brainer.

Not so fast. The Supreme Court has decided 8-1 that stepping on a kitten and killing it slowly under a high heel is protected free speech. The one dissenter was Samuel Alito, and let me say as someone who agrees with the judge on next to nothing that I thank him for this.

Years ago, it was decided that taking your clothes off for money was protected free speech. I can understand the people who were upset by this, but no one came to actual physical harm in the act of a woman at a strip club. What happens after and what happens to the neighborhood, I'm willing to admit it's a different story. It seemed like a weird ruling, but I thought it was kind of funny. I'm not laughing now.

If I were a person prone to paranoia, I'd have to think that the Supreme Court is trying to make the public hate the First Amendment. I don't have much love in my heart or understanding in my mind for the eight idiots who made this ruling, no matter who nominated them to the bench. I hope someone can fashion a law that will stand up to judicial scrutiny that keeps this disgusting and cruel filth illegal, because as long as there is a buck to be made doing awful things, there will be someone who needs a buck who will be willing to do them.

In the words of my friend Victor Manjarrez, "We don't deserve to survive as a species."

People send me stuff, Part 1

This blog was barely six months old when I admitted I had a thing for giant women. I had friends and family who knew about this quirk from a long time before I was a blogger. I also actually made close personal friends based on this mutual interest through the Internets. Some of them I met nearly twenty years ago now, and I jokingly call them My People and our interest, Our Agenda.

I haven't made this blog All About Giantesses. There are actually plenty of websites devoted to that topic, but I do bring it up from time to time. To me, the interesting thing is how many of my friends and family will find stuff on the net of interest to My People and send it to me even though technically they are not among My People, but instead friends who share some other interest, like math or music, or family, with whom I share genetic material, blood and love.

Some examples.

I went to grad school with my pal Jeremy, who sometimes sends messages under the name 47th Problem of Euclid. He recently took a trip to Norway, and while in Oslo he put pictures on his Facebook page from Vigeland Park, an 80 acre park devoted to the bronze and stone statues of Gustav Vigeland. Vigeland's work includes many massive nude sculptures, including this stone titaness on all fours with her braid in her mouth like a gag. (Note: the object that looks like it is sprouting from her head is actually an obelisk far behind her.)

The people around her give some idea of the scale of the statue, and she is so large that we cannot see the children playing on top of her, riding her like a very large pony.

If I had made this trip with Jeremy to Norway (a seriously unlikely prospect given my general broke-assesed-ness), the first sentence I would want to learn in Norwegian would be...

Yo, kiddies! Tick, tock, tick! There are other people waiting to get on this ride, know what I mean?

This is not the first giantess picture my close personal bud Padre Mickey has sent me. He has no personal interest in the Big Girls, but her does search the Interwebs for wacky album covers, and this one has a giant woman vibe to it.

We can see that there are two snow bunnies resting their heads on weird contraptions, but tricks of perspective make the ladies in the foreground look like sleeping titanesses, who when awoken will be filled with a terrible resolve and turn the tiny town below them into toothpicks and kindling.

I have to say, this picture makes it look like the gal-gantua on the right is sleeping right on top of the only road out of town. I may love giant women but please! Good manners are never out of style, even if you are 500 feet tall.

And last but not least, here's a giantess collage sent to me by my adorable niece Holly Smith-Smith. Her particular interest is in fashion, and flipping through an old copy of the American fashion magazine Allure, she found this picture from a photo essay called Bodzilla!, which featured supermodels bursting out of billboards to tower over a helpless New York City that trembled beneath their stylish and stupendous stilettos.

This particular colossus is Linda Evangelista, dressed in a leather jumpsuit designed by Theirry Mugler.

Twenty years ago, Ms. Evangelista's most famous quote was "I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day". If she was actually this size, the raw materials for her outfit would cost at least that much, so her extravagant demands seem much more reasonable, don't they?

Say yes. She'll probably step on you if you sass back.

A message for My People from days gone by.

My pal Padre Mickey, who is not one of My People supporting Our Agenda, will still be a pal sometimes and send me a picture of a giant woman he sees as he wanders around the Internets. This is the cover of an LP released by Les Brown and His Band of Reknown back in 1955, the year I was born. The collage work isn't quite up to modern standards, what with the transparency and no shadows, but clearly it is playing on the metaphor of a young woman having the power in a relationship, which is a metaphor we have seen before, yes?

Thanks again to the good Padre for sending this along.