Diane Keaton will have 'keen interest' in Ellen Page

Is that what we're calling it these days? "Keen interest"? Okay, that's fine. Better than "particular friendship."
But are we sure it's not Cynthia Mort developing a keen interest in Ellen Page?

As was reported earlier on the Sapphist Gazetteer, huge LA lesbian Cynthia Mort is creating an HBO series with Diane Keaton in which Keaton will play a much-feared entertainment industry blogger. The show is called Tilda. The latest news is that our girl Ellen Page has signed onto the series, playing a creative assistant at a movie studio. Entertainment Weekly reports that Keaton's character develops a "keen interest" in Page's character, who is conflicted about the film industry. (And perhaps her sexuality? Just a guess.)

It wouldn't be a first for a producer/director type to develop a keen interest in Ellen Page. After all, the 23-year-old Canadian actress is undeniably adorable. Drew Barrymore evidently found her hard to resist, as well.

My lover Cindy

One of the best things about the emergence of Cynthia Mort is that we get to fully examine her pivotal role in the lesbian mafia. Oh, you're skeptical that such an organization exists? You want proof?




First of all, there was that Godfatheresque L Word scene that clearly establishes the existence of such an underworld. Okay? Got it? Second, the delightfully unbearable Dawn Denbo character, played by Elizabeth Keener, was obviously based on LA nightclub promoter Amanda Demme, who is Cindy Mort's former ex and who is the woman Cindy returned to after she broke up Jodie and Cydney and then dumped Jodie anyway. Still with me? Good. Don't you agree that the catch phrase, "This is my lover Cindy" has so much more meaning now that Cindy Mort is in our lives? While the "my lover Cindy" character on the L Word does not physically resemble the raven-haired alpha butch Cynthia Mort, is there any doubt that the fictional Denbo-Cindy pairing is a thinly veiled reference to the real-life Demme-Cynthia pairing? In addition, I also just happen to appreciate the Rosanne Roseannadanna stylings of Ms. Demme, because I love Gilda Radner more than I can express with mere words.

I also think we should not overlook the wonderful Melanie Mayron in all this, who, since she was dumped by Cynthia Mort when Cindy commenced her fling with Jodie, has kept her affectionate status in the hearts of American television viewers. She, after all, was the cute one on thirtysomething and now sells a line of baby care products with her dad, who is a chemist. The whole set up is impossibly endearing. (Or possibly a money laundering operation for the lesbian mafia...heh heh.)

Even Jodie plays the fool sometime...

A few months ago, in September, it was the start of the fall semester, and I was preoccupied. That is the only explanation for how the Sapphist Gazetteer missed the National Enquirer story about Jodie Foster's breakup with Cynthia Mort. This drama comes more than a year after Foster dumped longtime devoted girlfriend Cydney Bernard to be with the younger, swarthy Mort (see Sapphist Gazetteer post). The Enquirer reports that Jodie is "devastated."

But perhaps Jodie's gaze will fall upon another big handsome girl, Cherry Jones, a high-ranking lesbian with whom she is currently filming a movie titled The Beaver (I kid you not). Foster is directing and acting in this film—described as a dark comedy—playing an unhappy straight lady. For a glimpse of Jodie looking attentively at Cherry on the set in NYC, click here. Conveniently, Cherry Jones split from Sarah Paulson a few months ago and is apparently available for back rubs, snuggling on the couch, spooning, and other rebound activities.

But back to the Jodie/Cynthia breakup. What happened? The Enquirer pins it on Cindy Mort's return to an old flame, Amanda Demme, who bears a resemblance to Rosanne Roseannadanna. Demme is a nightclub promoter in L.A. who's been linked to Lindsay Lohan. You can read an unflattering profile of Demme that appeared in The New York Times a few years ago. Notice the article is accompanied by a photo of Lohan's ex, sapphist deejay Samantha Ronson.

One year later

Last summer a disturbance occurred in the lesbian realm, which the Sapphist Gazetteer felt much in the way Obi-Wan Kenobi detected a disturbance in The Force.
It happened when Jodie Foster and Cydney Bernard split after fourteen years when Jodie's gaze fell upon another woman, Cynthia Mort. The story—reported with vigor in The National Enquirer—said Mort was a "younger, prettier woman," and that Jodie ditched Cydney, her considerably older partner, for someone younger.

But that was not entirely accurate. Mort, 53, is indeed younger than Bernard, yes, but only by a few years. Foster, ever the youngest child, is seven years younger than Mort. The one person in this scenario who dumped her wife for a younger woman was none other than Mort, who apparently left longtime partner Melanie Mayron, 56, in favor of Foster, who is looking good, if studiously earnest, at 46.

Mayron is best known as the cute one on "thirtysomething," but in recent years she's evidently been busy as a director for television shows—including directing several episodes of Mort's creation, "Tell Me You Love Me," which, despite abundant sex, lasted one season on HBO in 2007. Mayron also recently gamely played The Older Woman in "The Itty Bitty Titty Committee."

One of the appealing elements of this dyke drama was that it involved no one under 40. In fact, Jodie is the only one under 50.

While it is impossible to know, as it should be impossible to know, the private maneuverings of Ms. Foster, who is particularly protective of her privacy by typical Hollywood standards, we can, however, take a look at the current professional activities of the new Foster-Mort pairing. If it even still exists, naturally.

Foster is connected with several projects in development, including:
• Director, producer for "Flora Plum," a film about circus freaks starring the once charming but increasingly unlikeable Clare Danes
• Actor, producer for "Investigation," a crime thriller with Al Pacino in which Jodie will probably reprise her ice princess role from "Inside Man"
• Actor, producer for "One Hundred Years On," which is described as: "A woman struggles to keep her cattle ranch despite the interest of greedy interlopers." We pray this will be a nice companion DVD to "The Horse Whisperer" with our fave Kristin Scott Thomas!
• Actor, Producer for "Sugarland," a flick about the sugar industry in Florida. We envision a Catherine Deneuvian plantation mistress role á la "Indochine"
• Actor, producer for an untitled biopic of Leni Riefenstahl, which could be tricky territory for Foster, who has already been linked in friendship to the very high profile anti-Semite Mel Gibson. We just don't feel good about this.
• Actor, Producer for "Soviet Cowboy," in which Jodie will be creatively cast as Vladimir Putin. At least, that is our hope.

Cynthia Mort, in the meantime, does not seem to be taking advantage of any string-pulling her new Oscar-laden girlfriend might provide. While no doubt keeping busy taking out the trash and unloading/loading the dishwasher at the Foster manse, Mort is filling her off-hours by writing screenplays for the following:
• "Miss Captivity," a film about a reality TV show in a women's prison. Oh dear.
• "The Guide," a film about a Native American detective who helps people disappear. Halle Berry is slated to star, which is its only hope.
• "Bullitt (Remake)," which, unless this stars Foster in the McQueen role, is doomed to fail.